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the days of chilly and nippy weather are up and about in the windy city.
summer days have already been missed as tempertures level off around the 60
degree mark. autumn returns and my allergies have made me not breathe
again. ugh....

yesterday i watched that 9/11 documentary on cbs. (no, not the harvey
keitel movie on abc.) this was completely and utterly unreal! it's the
one with the french filmmakers who were originally documenting what it was
like to be a new york firefighter and what the newbies go through. i was
explaining to my coworker of how you knew what happen "that day" and how
each part of the documentary was a jaw dropping, "oh shiet" moment. like
you were waiting for when each plane would hit. AND no matter how many
times i've seen the footage - it's always so unbelievable. always, always,
always......

so this is for nine-eleven! today is patriot's day (which makes me think
of when this exactly became a named day...???). wave a flag and have some
pride!

rubber band

i hate when i send out like 20 to 30 emails but only get a handful of
responses back or even none at all. makes me feel like the work i did
sucked nutz and it didn't mean anything at all. however, in this line of
public relations (for the documentary), it's pretty important to keep on
pushing forward and getting the word out no matter what. it's sorta like
spam mail, but it isn't cause i don't overdo it and they're all personal
emails directed to a specific person that i'm inquiring to.

i'm tired and bored.

schools starts for kids again. i've been out of the game for 5 years now
and don't feel like i'm utilizing any of it. sad really.....

avery 5262 labels

Maybe I'm the only one that really does this.....uh....nah, I'm sure other
do it too....but you ever look at documents you need to work with and kinda
just stare at it for a long ass time thinking that maybe it'll go away or
osmosis will happen whereby reading isn't required? this is something that
started in high school, developed in college, and is still a part of my
routine. sometimes i'll read parts that i've already read and say to
myself - why am i reading this again? not good. need to start digesting
words quicker.

SO - i'm currently on hiatus from my book club and have lowered my
interviewing schedule for my documentary to get back to the bare bones of
my project. The thing that makes a documentary better than just images and
embellished footage is the writing. Thus, I'm back to a rigorous writing
schedule chaulk full of inappropriate grammar and broken sentence
structure. My reasoning for bad writing is "I'm a writer!" and "I'm
allowed to do it!" Not really - but it makes me feel better to reason it
out this way.

Well - i'm off to buy new notebooks....

keep it clean!

red sharpie

this is a rant. be aware.........

when did everyone go soft? okay - so what i'm getting at with this post is
this: in the world we live in now, more people are inclined to change
their minds and more people are in the understanding that nothing is ever
definite until everyone's in agreement. And to get everyone in agreement
takes awhile or is a difficult task to accomplish.

"what are you talking about???"

no one has definite answers anymore. maybe it's me and maybe it's the
world i live in, but everyone seems to have this "second chance" to change
things around. even look at the NFL or NBA - there are always second
chances with instant replays and referee change of calls. continuing on,
guys turning metrosexual and becoming more sensitive has taken a toll on
them being more confident and stronger with their words. the word "maybe"
is probably used more in 1 week, than the words "yes" and "no" in 1 month.
i'm not kidding.

people are scared to speak their voices sometimes and this really needs to
stop. S-T-O-P!! stop it! Stop It! STOP IT!

say what you feel and do what you want!

i'm not being mean.

i look out for people more than people may tend to acknowledge. i always
try to accomodate to as many peoples' needs over my own. but you know what
the difficult part is? when people don't know what they want and what may
seem like a relaxed, laid back cat - really can be someone that doesn't
know how to speak his or her own mind. do you know this person? he or she
is the same person that says, "whatever you guys wanna do is cool with me."
and then he/she waits until something bad happens to be the first to
complain "see - i knew this was a bad idea!" WTF?? where the hell were
you when we needed a consensus??

all i'm saying is - stop waiting around on the word "might." be a strong
person and work on the word - "yes." as stupid as it sounds, but there's
this quote from harry potter 4 that fits perfectly. "you must choose
between what is right and what is easy." for the metaphoric impaired -
"what is easy" is the thing that let's you not care and let's you give up.
don't be a quitter man...

LIVE!

file folders with massive papers

this blog is for other "guys." you cannot....i repeat....can NOT....use a
guy friend as an excuse to escape from your girlfriend. it doesn't work.
i'm sorry. it may work for some guys, but really ...it doesn't work. let
me elaborate.

bob has girlfriend.

mike won tickets to tonight's ball game. he tells bob that he needs to
know "right now" if he can go with him or not because the ticket can go to
someone else.

bob likes hanging out with his girlfriend, but has never been to a ball
game. he also likes sports and would like to go to the ball game.

STOP!

route 1: if bob goes to ball game w/out telling his girlfriend (who may be
already expecting them to hang out tonight), he's walking into a trap of an
argument.

route 2: bob can decline his ticket and miss out on something fun, free,
and new. however, he will have a higher chance of having sex and hanging
out with his female best friend. to continue though - he will be
acknowledged as p*ssy whipped by his friends and grow more distant from
them.

route 3: bob can try to tell his girlfriend and butter her up for another
time to hang out. however, in the back of her mind she'll know that he
chose his friends over her (more so if she DID have plans to hang out with
him already).

route 4: completely seperate himself from both parties, thereby everyone
wondering what his deal is and why he's acting so wierd. (in essence, he's
not acting wierd but just doesn't want to deal with earlier routes
mentioned.)

route 5: insert your own route.

to continue with my initial thought, you can NOT use another guy as a
route. like so....

route 6: bob takes the ticket and uses mike as an excuse. mike talks to
bob's girlfriend and says, "it's my fault he's going. we never hang out
with him. i dragged him here with us. sorry."

that just ain't gonna cut it buddy. she'll buy it to get you out of
trouble for that night....but when you return to the nest - you're so
screwed!

now let me interject with objective thought. of course this doesn't apply
to EVERYONE, but there are justifications of truth in each route.
different situations apply differently to different people. and yes, i do
know that women can be very cool about guys hanging out with their guys on
a spontaneous notion. HOWEVER, a good majority of women (who'll deny it no
matter what) would rather have the man pick her. it's just obvious. who
wouldn't want more caring, personal attention given to them?

indulge me people....

staedtler mars plastic eraser

please let me answer for myself! have you ever encountered a mr. or mrs.
know-it-all, where they always jumped in the conversation and answered
questions that weren't directed to them? i'm perfectly amiable and accute
to answer my own questions and i will not be scared to pass on the inquiry
if I'm not suitable to drop some knowledge. HOWEVER - just gimmie the
chance to run with it for a little bit - dang!

ALSO - you know what i've taken for granted? The office supply room. I
can still remember the days when i wouldn't have a pen in high school and
hunt for one from a friend. then, if they gave me one and said, "i'm not
sure if it works" - i would do my damndest to make it work. i would roll
it in between my hands, warm it up, take it out of the pen holder, shake it
a lot, and then continuously try to write with it. FINALLY it would work
and then i would have a pen for the day. BUT now, all i do is toss it once
it runs out and grab another bic pen from my drawer. no biggie. how
terrible. in a new effort to save the children - just give up old office
supplies to kids that can't afford new school supplies. it's all for a
good cause!

and then save a tree and eat a beaver!

plum and a Fiji apple

you know what's crazy? (i feel like i always start off my blog posts with
a rhetorical question....anyhoo....) how has the acception of cursing
evolved throughout the last 5 to 10 years that the word c*nt (minus "u")
has become more derogative and sinister than the word f*ck? DON'T GET ME
WRONG - i hardly ever, EVER, use the "c" word unless i necessarily have to,
but wasn't the f bomb considered the mother of all bad ass words? when did
it evolve into becoming more socially acceptable during normal conversation
with your homeys? i know for me personally - it's become a more casual
term during my collegiate years. obviously i use my smarts to clean up
when in proper situations, but if i'm emphasizing a point or just clowning
around, the f-word rolls off my tongue like the letter "r" in mexico. let
me illustrate conversational masterpieces:

"hey mike, how's it going?"

"sh*t f*ckin sucks man. i'm having a crappy ass day."

the end. right there - i can sympathize with mike and know that he really
IS having a bad day. what if we cleaned it up?

"hey mike, how's it going?"

"Pretty bad. I'm not having a good day."

right there - speaking as a "guy" - someone cut mike's balls off and in
turn, would make me retort with a sarcastic response, like "ah...pooky
wanna snuggle?" or "buck up man. help me fill up this bong."

ALL i'm saying is that the f word has evolved into something more
acceptable than the "new f-word" - the c word.

pass it unto your friends. the end......

my jury check stub

problems, problems, problems.....

isn't it funny how sometimes we get to a decision we're not sure about at
work and sorta leave it lingering for awhile before we come to a conclusion
on it? if it's a minute problem, then we just push it to the side and let
it lay there until we have to come back to it or someone inquires of it.
that's when you actually do the, "OH, i just had it on the side cause I had
a question about it...." then you actually ask about it. However, if it's
a bigger problem that you're not sure about - you bring it up with someone
that you're closer with at work. then it turn, it can continue unto
another person. then soon enough you'll have a meeting about this problem.
THEN you'll talk up the problem with all these people in the meeting, come
up with a jillion answers or solutions that were comprised of asking other
multiple questions when the first problem arose, to it becoming a political
debate on what works and what doesn't work according to company procedures.
pretty soon the meeting is over and you know what happens in the end? the
problem is still left on the side until someone brings it up again.

action people!

however, as puffy, p. diddy, sean combs says, "mo money, mo problems....."

COME TO MY CONCERT!

contracts and file folders

Do you like what you do for a living? Does it challenge you the way you
want to be challenged? Does it truly interest you that sometimes you don't
even think it's work?

For me - my job is 'okay.' It's still a general job type and isn't
terrible. I work with great people - people that dig what they're doing.
I'm free to work w/out supervision as I'm pretty sufficient in what I do.
However, do I like it? "Hate" is such a strong word, but let's just say
that it's not what I wish to be doing for the rest of my life. I studied
films in college and have been writing my own scripts and screenplays for
over 5 years....but nothing has surmounted from it. And now I'm doing this
documentary. It's my escape from my everyday, monotonous routine at my
daily job. it keeps me on my toes and greatly interests me. However, it
doesn't pay the bills like my day job does. So - I need to start from the
bottom and work hard at it. But I still need to do my day job along the
way.

Have you ever started a job? It's hard to preach an "idea" to people and
get them interested in helping you out. And what's the worst part about it
all is that the part that I'm the weakest in that needs to be the strongest
is FINANCE. You need money to make money. It's sadly that simple and
true.

Making this movie, presenting this concert with just the aid of myself and
2 or 3 people is VERY difficult. I'm sorta surprised I haven't broken down
yet, but maybe it's because I'm confronted that fear from past experiences.
I'm very confident on what I can accomplish and know that I can make both
projects a huge success. What sucks is money! Money has always been the
devil to me and will always be the deciding factor on helping or hurting
me. Right now, it's hurting me.

So when I go out to look for donations or sponsorships, unlike a bumb or a
homeless guy, you DO know where you're money is going. And hearing "I'll
help you out later on" isn't helping me right now. Right now, I wish I had
an extra $500 bucks of a cushion to have better marketing and free stuff
for people to volunteer. But I don't. And this is how dreams die.

I've always been optomistic with society and the aid of friends. I believe
in good karma and think that when I help anyone in the world with anything,
it should come back to me in some other fashion. I don't drag people down
with my own problems and I carry as much or even more weight than the next
guy. But right now, I do have to admit that these projects are hurting me.
Hurting me so much that the overwhelming stress makes me grumpy and unfun
to be with. These aren't traits that I like to embellish, but everyone has
a dark side that they're hiding.

HOWEVER - I'm not a quitter and I'm not a afraid of what's in my way. I
take advantage of this blog to release myself from struggles that I face.
Hopefully y'all will learn from something I share. Otherwise - if you're
in Illinois - GO TO THE SHOW!!

later.

That Asian Thing Showcase - BE THERE!

A unified voice.

A unified race.

A one night show.

Be part of the concert event to be featured in "That Asian Thing" documentary. Live and experience the talent of Asian American artists!

"That Asian Thing Showcase"
Saturday, August 12, 2006
7 pm - 9 pm

Fred P. Hall Amphitheater - Palantine Park District
262 E. Palatine Road
Palatine, IL 60067

Cost: FREE!
There will be a sliding scale donation of $5-$15 to help fund the completion of "That Asian Thing" Documentary.

NOTE: This will be an outdoor event. Please bring a lawn chair, blanket, or just yourselves and enjoy the music!

More info @ http://www.thatasianthing.com

http://www.palatineparkdistrict.com/amphitheater.html

FROM:
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black, plastic cup i eat cereal out of

GET OFF OF IT ALREADY! EVERYONE NEEDS TO TAKE A CHILL PILL!

i hate to compare "stress" stories, but people always feel the need to
chime in with their bigger d*ck story when you're just trying to release
with what's going on with you. no one wants to listen and give you
objective advise or thoughts on your situation. all they want to do in
return to your stress story is make you feel worse by telling you what's
wrong with them. and yes - i do listen when someone tries to "relate" with
their own problems. or when they say, "I remember when the same thing
happen to me and bla bla bla..." i'm just not super keen on people
changing the direction of the conversation and then making it concentrated
on them. it's sorta retarded to ask, "how are you?" cause in reality, all
you really want to do is tell someone how much shiet you're going through.

thanks but no thanks.

diet coke

Sometimes i can't walk into our work cafeteria because there is a high
chance that i will walk into the "gossip group." NOW i don't partake in
work gossip, but i do listen to it. however, it's not on the intent of
wanting to know personal infomation, it's more on the intent that most of
the gossip people are older in age and hearing can be a little weak.
therefore, they tend to speak a notch higher and when i'm not trying to
listen to these "rumors," you just can't help to hear it cause it's really
loud. i just feel so uncomfortable hearing these people talk about other
people and then knowing that they're gossiping cause they lower their
voices a little.

it's like knowing that you procrastinate and not doing anything about it.
they know that they're gossiping but they see nothing wrong with it. you
know what's funny about the "gossip people" is that they become part of
gossip themselves by being so proactive in the whole scharade. bla! i'm
done with this....

is it me as a one-person corporation or am i really that popular with
getting mail? ever since i've become incorporated for "that asian thing" -
the mail has been more and more under groovy ghost films. funny though -
they're doing what i need to be doing. mass marketing and just getting
your name out there. you figure that if you send about a jillion flyers
out about your service, about 20 to 30 percent should actually look into
it. now that i'm a business - that 20 to 30 percent is looking pretty
gooooooood, if ya ask me.

help a brotha out!

rubber band

i've become what i hoped wouldn't happen. i am now pigeonholed into always
documenting things. this past weekend, i went out to have a good time -
have some drinks, get my buzz on, watch people pass by and enjoy the
nightlife. i brought my digital camera with me because it was my friend's
birthday. i mean - she took pictures at my birthday, so i sorta felt
obliged to help commemorate her own drunken times. however, everytime i
took a picture, people would say, "it's for the documentary! look out!" or
"is this gonna be in your film? asians having a good time...." or "i'm not
signing a release form..."

now i know what you're saying - "you got yourself into this." and i'm
fully aware of what i've done and how it may altar my future lifestyle.
however, gimmie a break people - it's like me always saying the same joke
to you over and over again. it gets old and annoying after awhile. don't
you think? and also, before i did any of this, everything seemed to be
"normal." now what? i start working on any sort of film and this is what
i have to look forward to??

WELL - i'll take it AND a bag of chips!

it makes life interesting and sure - i get heated or i get riled up. but
it shows to myself how close this project is to my heart. how many people
are really passionate about something that had to grow unto them?? in my
age range and in my radius of friends - not many. a good amount of people
just keep doing their jobs, wishing they could do something cooler. well -
i took it by the bull horns and am making a frickin movie! this is what i
want to do and now i'm doing it. no matter how i'm going about it. i'm
doing it.

just let me be able to blog and release in some form. it's not complaining
- it's telling an upsetting story to the masses about my life. bla bla
bla....words, words, words. that's all this really is. isn't it??

ipod headphones

you know what i just realized? since i'm trying to figure out my net value
as a person for the back-up of my production company (Groovy Ghost Films,
Inc.), i've realized that i have no savings. i mean - this is no surprise
to the people that know me....however, when i stop to think of where all my
money goes. i'd have to say that it goes to life experiences more than
anything. because as i sit here and list things that i can put up as
collatoral or things that prove that i'm not a "bad person" when it comes
to finances....i actually only have a handful of things that can show it.
i don't own a house. i don't own a great computer. i do own my car, but
it's very old and not worth as much. i can't put my girlfriend up as
collatoral (even though she'll say there's no price on her package....which
there isn't unless we've degraded back to slave issues). SO - when i stop
to think about my net value....the only reason (or "excuse") i'm not worth
as much is because i use up my money on doing stuff like going out to the
bars, fine dining, traveling, movies, good times and even treating out
people to these so called "experiences."

do i regret it? hell no!

but i do wish i had something more viable to prove that i'm worth more.
maybe they can listen to my funny stories instead....

my red pen

i'm currently in the midst of trying to raise funds for my documentary and
music concert. MAN - have you ever done telemarketing? making those cold
calls and knowing people don't want to hear it? that's what this is like.
SO - to make it easier, i've tried to grow contacts and get referred to
people/companies by others. it helps a little, but you're still trying to
sell something. the hardest part for me is closing the deal. i can talk
about my project all day, but when it comes to actually tying it all up
with, "so, would you like to help the cause?" - it sure can be difficult.

what gets me a little confused is - where did all my friends go? i know
people hate to be asked for money, but if one of my friends emailed me
about something that i felt he/she were really, whole-heartedly sincere
about AND i thought this person could pull it off, I would definitely try
to throw them a bone. and if it's only 10 or 20 bucks...well, hopefully
they'll accept to be something more than zero dollars. and shiet...i'm one
of the brokest mo fo's you should know.

before i change subjects: ---> http://www.thatasianthing.com ---->know
it and tell a friend!!!

MOVING RIGHT ALONG (sometimes documentary talk can easily take over my
conversation/way of thinking): i got my high school reunion notice in the
mail. interesting i must say. i actually sat down and thought about the
friends i hung out with in the beginning of my high school career and who i
ended with at the end of those 4 years. a complete evolution of such. i'm
wondering if those early jonald friends will be in attendance. i hope so.
it would be nothing more than a trip in a literal sense. so if you're in
the new jersey area - i'll be there come november. holla!

office thought of the day: with technology changing ever so rapidly -
you'd think there were a more high-tech solution to a new form of adhesive
paper connections. in other words - staplers, are they really that cool?

that northern telecom phone that everyone has at their work

i'm not very fond of people that don't know how to chill out at work.
sometimes there are low periods at a job, when there actually might not be
a lot to do, so some people find it necessary to do things that are
completely meaningless. they have no other way of looking busy except to
start picking at things that are so intricate and detailed that if they
were busy, they'd completely overlook. i mean - gimmie a frickin break!
data in a database where some letters need to be capitalized is not my
definition of important work. being nit picky and consistantly talking to
people about work related things makes it come out like your nagging or
just not fun. i know what environment we're in and yes - work is the goal
at hand here. BUT our lives are not meant to be defined by paper work or
what someone more knowledgable or educated commands us to do. this life we
lead and the road we choose from different paths that confront us is what
makes us who we are.

we work to live. we don't live to work.

just chill out. stop trying to make everyone who's relaxed around you look
so bad. i'm sure you can see where i stand. and if you're opposed to
me....

take it easy. i'm not saying that we should not get any work done. its
just that there are certain times when the work place has not so tense
moments and when a little fun can be implemented, just let it be without
coming off as an elitist because you're a hardworker. i'm a hardworker
too. i get my shiet done and i do it very well. even surpass the
intentions of my goal at times. but some people just need to realize that
there is more to life, more to the same ol'building you come to everyday
for a bajillion years, and more to living a routine ordeal. a more
enjoyable environment makes for more enjoyable employees. if these people
look forward coming to work - isn't that suppose to be a good thing?

an eraser

i apologize! i'm sorry - to all the people that i spit on. yes, friends
and family and random blog readers, i am guilty of "speaking spittal." i
think it's because i speak sorta fast and trying to get so much info out
quicker than my mouth can handle, i have this tendency to "spray it, not
say it." therefore, i apologize! i'm sorry! it's sorta like i'm kissing
the world, one conversation at a time....

moving right along - SUPERMAN will be here. this movie has been
toooooooooo long in the making. i heard about the return of this movie for
like 3 years and only NOW is it coming out. on a wednesday night for that
matter. i hope it is well worth the wait and hype because i have read
kevin smith's version of the story and well.......kevin smith rocked it.
we'll see.....at least its the summer, which introduces the beginning of
the summer blockbusters. we'll see who reaches the rankings this year.
Speaking of Kevin Smith - Clerks 2. i can only pray that this helps
kevin's career rather than hinder it. if this doesn't cut it, it might be
time to get back to independent styles. my new estimated date of "That
Asian Thing" completion will be mid-Fall. This is primarily due to editing
time and completion of filming. keep yer fingers crossed and tell me to
break a leg. then i have to wish and pray that my entrance into film
festivals will be solid.

i'm done thinkin on this for now...maybe more later....

pens galore

so yeah - that thing up top is the "teaser" to my film to be......

hopefully you'll like it and hopefully you'll let all your friends know
about it.

lately i've been running on E but i feel like if i stop or if i do anything
that isn't towards the project of this film/concert, then i'm being
half-ass about it. but seriously, i'm completely and utterly tired. the
only person who can be a witness to this is my girlfriend and when i go to
interact with outsiders, it's become what feels like work because i have to
put as much out there as i can when it comes to promotions. if you know
me, you know that i'm a pretty personable person. i can talk and i like to
conversate. i do know how to listen and i like to believe that i'm very
open minded to a wide range of anything. however, doing all the marketing,
promotions, filming, interviewing, reading material, emailing, and just
even going to my dayjob to do work outside of this project - WELL, all the
talking seems to be nothing unless there's a physical, viable product in
front of people. HENCE - this little teaser. i've watched footage of
interviews at least 10 times a piece to look for just the right snippets to
throw in there. i listened to a lot (A LOT) of asian american artists'
music, to get the right feel for the right scene. and if you can believe
this, i'm working on the actual script for voice over. there's a lot to
making a full length feature - especially if you have an army of one -
yourself.

SO - i'm tired BUT i'm still moving.

in other news:

i've quit smoking and putting all the occasional mishaps aside (like drunk
drags or out of state partying), i've been clean for over a year and a
half. i've become a runner (...well, not lately.....since i've taken up my
project full time) and i'm an advocate on eating healthy. HOWEVER - i've
turned to the bad, bad drug of caffiene. Since i've been so tired lately,
i feel like drinking coffee and diet coke helps me get through the day.
NOW if you asked me if i wanted coffee about a year ago, i would've been
like "no way jose" cause it's bad for your heart. but then i'd say that
before lighting up a cigerette. it's really just become my substitute. i
need to stop. it's a wonder how drinking coffee has become professionally
acceptable during meetings.

this will be all....

my red and black sharpie - oh how i love thee

i had a wierd dream last night.

i was in what felt like my fraternity house but wasn't. for some unknown
reason, dreams make up new "realities" as far as making you feel like
you're at a place that you know, but it really isn't that place. like i've
had dreams that took place in a room that's suppose to be my house because
it felt like my house, but its a place i've never been to before. ANYHOO -
continuing on - I was in this room that was like a cave in the basement of
the fraternity house. there was a party going on, but it was just me and
one of my cousins' friends chillin with me. he was playing with a crab the
size of his arm. it wasn't biting him, but he was playing with it. then a
spider, the same size, came out. we decided to let'em have a go at each
other to see who would win in a fight. as they were fighting, i backed up
to give them some room. out of nowhere, a bat started to attack me. i was
wearing my long, overcoat that had long sleeves and use them to swap the
bat away. everytime it came close to me, i just hit it. it kept getting
more angry, so i just left the room when it was far enough from me. when i
got out of there, there was a staircase (very dark) that led upstairs.
people were going up and down it, just like a frat party. one of my
fraternity bros stopped me to ask where i was. i told him the whole story
and then the alarm went off.

really, REALLY wierd.

my girlfriend asked me, "what were you dreaming about?" i told her the
story i just wrote out and she said, "you were moving around and mumbling
in your sleep. i thought it was funny."

it wasn't a scary dream, except for the bat part. but it was just deeply
bizarre.

my ringing phone

sometimes when i wake up really early in the morning, there's that morning
dew smell that reminds me of yesteryear. i remember being in grade school
again and walking to my catholic school in the cold breeze of chicago wind
with the blue hue. the smell also reminds me of going on road trips with
my family when i was a kid. my dad would get us to leave at 4 in the
morning to beat traffic and get a good start on the road. the smell is
also reminiscent of first period classes at college. i only had a few, but
to get up and smell that morning dew while looking at an empty campus was
really a site to see. you get to appreciate how nice your college looks in
it's natural, naked beauty.

there are other smells that remind me of past situations. i'm sure you can
relate.

another note: please check my film blog every now and then too. i just
unloaded a lot of thought into today's entry.

i'm tired....this will be all.

my notary public stamp

From answerbag.com:

"The phrase "speak of the devil" is a shortened form of the medieval phrase
"speak of the devil and he shall come." It was thought that if you talked
about the devil it would attract his attention. That is why when you are
talking about someone and they show up you say speak of the devil."

Well now y'all know and knowing is half the battle. Actually - I'm a
little disappointed by this answer of "Where did 'speak of the devil' come
from?" I thought it would be this ancient lure of satanic corruption where
Lucifer had worked out a deal with Jacob the disciple. Whereas Lucifer
would give him riches in terms of unlimited bottles of wine and sheep skin
for the knowledge of Christ almighty's source of power. Then while
drinking tea with Luke and Peter, Jacob told them his story of running into
a black caped man calling himself Lucifer. As he uttered those words, the
subject showed up in person. "You scare me as the devil, good sir!" Jacob
said. And without resistance - Lucifer did a Wonder Woman type spin to
turn into THE DEVIL! Now becoming completely red and growing horns, he
caught a pitchfork that grew and shot out from the ground. Luke and Peter
luckily had bottles of Holy Water on them and began to throw. "CURSES!"
Lucifer said and ran away.

Hence, in my own demonic, corrupted, imaginery mind - this is where the
phrase "speak of the devil" came from.

originally my tea mug but now my mocha mug

Okay - so i completely understand that sometimes "time" is not on peoples'
side and the task of emailing has picked up to be somewhat time consuming,
especially if that's your main source of communication. in today's day and
age - sometimes it's what makes work a less monotonous day. HOWEVER, i'm
not a big fan of quick, to the point comments. For example, I sent out an
email asking friends if they would like to join me for an outing and one of
the replies that i received simply said "i was already going."

that's it.

that's it?

now i understand that i shouldn't expect some long, drawn out emailing
saying that the world is peachy keen and work is making one's body tired
even though it's a desk job, BUT isn't there a more charismatic way of
saying that you were attending the event? "i was already going" is kinda
like saying "OH, i already knew this and i was going without telling you.
don't make it such a big deal cause it's already in my calendar book."
WELL excuuuuuuuuse me for inviting you if you already knew it! something
kinder and quick would be, "hey, i already knew about this - did you want
to meet up?" or even "i'm down." but no, not "i already knew this" doesn't
work nicely.

DON'T GET ME WRONG - i know the reprecussions of bad email etiquette and
have totally been guilty of sending out snobbish or sarcastically mean
messages. BUT i am getting better and i wish people would just re-read
what they send out before hitting that quick release button. sometimes it
really does make people just a little more happy when you get a nice email.

computer monitor

you know what's natural, but embarrassing? not like picking your nose or
passing gas are things you shouldn't do, but something that you can't stop
from doing is making your stomach growl. sometimes my stomach just wants
to talk outloud and let everyone know that it's "letting food settle" or
"sorry, i need to be excused" or "let's be embarrassing!!" but whatever -
it's natural.

ya know - that werd right there is the new mentos. the werd - "whatever"
is suppose to be this justification or excuse to let things go. it's like
a brush off the shoulder (circa jay-z 2003). and like mentos - you're able
to get away with it with no worries. the other person just laughs it off
as you walk away holding your "whatever" in your hand with a big smile.
it's a scapegoat of a werd that i am very guilty of using as well.
however, there are moments where it very applicable in life because
seriously, people are too serious and need to utilize that "whatever" more
often. SO...on that note - whatever.

[also give props to the movie Clueless]

i think i swallowed a hair last night and now it's lodged in my throat.
i've drank hot stuff, cold stuff and eaten a couple of things since this
morning, but it still feels like something's in there. it'll probably
become one of those things like from the movie "My Girl" where she thinks
there's always a chicken bone lodged in her throat. For me - it's a piece
of hair. and going with that - yes - men are just big babies.....

I'm sorry, but i think i need to discontinue the naming of my posts after
beatles songs. i think i ran out. isn't that a shame?! well....i have
had this blog for awhile now, so it was likely to happen at some point.
therefore, i will just name my posts after random objects that lie in front
of me. enjoy.

i want to hold yer hand....

sorry to have neglected you, blog nation. I've been busy with the editing
of my film, my dayjob, and spending time with people I love. Also, the
good weather has invigorated my activity of spending time outside or
driving to unknown chicago regions. I just like to be up and about. Live
life man - that's what you gotta do!

ANYHOO - i do have randumb thoughts lodged in my noggin. here's a go:

--Elevators. wouldn't there be more space on them if everyone on the side
turned sideways and didn't face the opening doors, therefore allowing
another row of people on there? i'm not one to talk, however i always feel
that some people that enter the elevators on my job don't really have a
tetris etiquette to let as much people in. where's the love man? also -
stop looking down - the elevator ride ain't that bad.

-i'm very reluctant to grow my hair out. i shave my head because it's very
easy to handle AND i look good with it. i have a normal shaped head. some
people SHOULDN"T try to pull it off because they have oddly shaped heads.
really - you should check out the shaved head people and see what it
resembles. is it a block head? an egghead? a bumpy head? what works
best?

-my girlfriend watches sex in the city on demand. therefore, i watch sex
in the city as it is on the telly. i must admit - good writing. what i
did think of though was some of the guys on that show. if nothing else
were to happen with their acting careers, they can at least say that "i
played one of cary's boyfriends on sex in the city." to me - that's
actually pretty well known to the women. therefore, if you're an actor
just tryin to score some poon - i think sayin this credential is VERY
clutch.

-Donations. of late in my life, i've been more giving with my money. not
giving to bumbs but rather to friends who work the non profit route. i
know some people that do walks for causes, work not for profit businesses,
and are even starting their own businesses. funds are hard to come by and
friends SHOULD be friends. i'm not the richest guy on the block, but i can
definitely spare 5 or 10 bucks to help out a friend that's been good to me
in the past/present. 5 or 10 bucks towards their goal is closer than
nothing, so why not, eh? "heal the world, make it a better place, for you
and for me and the entire human race...." OR "we are the world, we are the
children, we are the ones who make a brighter day, so let's start giving"

-my 10 year high school reunion is coming up. first - YIKES - how old am
i?? next - YIKES - what the hell do i have to show for it?? whatever - i
have no shame. i just want to talk to more people and hopefully network.
i was pretty well known - not mr. popular, but my name did do me better
than i thought. there's not that many "jonalds" to spare. hopefully it
won't be a night of revengful regrets where people come to carry out things
they "should've done" in their past years. s'all good....i'm just glad i
live in chicago and don't have to run into any aftermath.

eat it. RADIOHEAD - in one month!! WOO HOOOOOooo!!!!

golden slumbers

the following is a retort for people who work in the business world.
you'll understand what i mean:

"do i have a choice? it shouldn't be called a favor if I have to do it."

AH - now that i have that off my back. let's continue on. THIS WEEK conan
o'brien is taping his show at the Chicago Theater on state street. This is
literally 3 blocks away from where i work. i've walked by it for the past
2 days to see if i can somehow worm my way into the show. however, knowing
that taping begins at around 3 or 4 pm....lines to the show form way before
noon. there are people lined up all over the spot. it's pretty crazy. i
did submit an email to get tickets - but it's still at random draw and then
you still have to wait in line to get in. still no guarentee if your name
is picked. i'd have to miss a day of work just to grab my seat.

in the past, i have watched conan live 3 times in new york when i lived in
jersey. all good times. but now that he's a big shot - it's impossible to
grab tickets. o well....

yesterday, i lost an arm and a leg obtaining tickets to my favorite living
band. "living" is the word here - unless by some miraculous feet, Paul and
Ringo can get Lennon and Harrison's sons to jump in a live concert, then
i'd probably lose my soul to get tickets. ANYHOO - my friend and I got
RADIOHEAD tickets!! WOO HOO!!!! too cool as it will be in the auditorium
theater in chicago. can't wait for this date to be history in my life
book. i've never seen them live and have been consistently listening to
them since high school. hail to the thief!

a couple of movies i've watched lately that you should check out if you
haven't: munich (which is now on dvd), me, you, and everyone we know is a
quirky movie with deeper meaning to it than it seems, v for vendetta was
cool and yes - it's about bush administration (very obvious), and
hitchcock's north by northwest. always gotta stick a classic flick on the
list.

holla!

baby's in black

MISSING IN ACTION - sorry to be in nowhere land and not yell out my status
to the seeker, however, personal turmoil has made me not want to write out
to the masses. nothing big - more like a personal rut but i'm getting
through it. sometimes stuff like this happens out of boredom.

passive aggression - what the hell are you? i've been known to be passive
aggressive and it's become a complaint by some. however - i can't
understand what the hell i'm doing that makes it passive aggressive. SO -
let me list the faults that I do that will probably reveal what passive
aggression is.

when i see someone doing something "wrong" (in a sense where i don't like
it or its something messed up), instead of being blunt, sometimes i lay
guilt trips about it. also, i tend to ask a question putting the wrong
doer in opposite shoes to see if what he/she is doing is wrong. get what
i'm saying? example - "hey, is it wrong to put knives in people's back?"
apparently, i hang out with backstabbers. badum ching!

randumbly ongoing - i've deteriorated a ligament in my foot. it was
swollen before and in serious pain, however, it's gone down in swelling and
now i don't feel too much pain (which tends to happen over time). BUT
since i'm missing that ligament, i still have to undergo physical therapy,
which consists of an ultra sound foot massage and whirlpool treatment. how
lavish a therapy is that?! i just hate the fact that i can't completely
run yet and i can seriously injure my foot if i exert myself too much.
booooo!

i've returned from the Asian American mecca known as California. i visited
family and overwhelmed myself with rest and food. eat, go, sleep, go, eat,
sleep. in that order and repeat for 3 days. NOW if only there were a way
to do everything without gaining weight. hhhmmmmm - a new invention could
be in the works....

northern song

patience - is it really for you? OR is it really for the other guy?

i'm starting to believe that the trait of patience is as equally BAD as it
is good. I've always thought patience is a great asset to have and taking
your time on things produces better quality. HOWEVER, as i'm becoming more
involved with my projects - patience is also letting people get away from
stuff. people easily take patience for granted. another aspect that is
not to the fault of evil (as i'm guilty of it too) is that people DO get
busy and DO forget to do things. so patience would be important for
keeping up good relations, but patience would not be good if you know that
the person can be forgetful.

randumbly - do you really get mentally hurt when someone penalizes a
characteristic you pride yourself on? i do. i don't think i should as i'm
a "guy," but shiet man....i have feelings too. when someone says i'm not
funny or not patient or very unreliable - i take it to heart because i
really do pride myself on those assets. it's all i got man. i think my
other big characteristic is pride itself. i have lots of pride. when
someone pokes at it, i take offense to it. and i hate getting sour - i
wish i could brush things off my shoulder but grudges are evil. you want
that revenge so badly because greed and being selfish is easy to do.

it's all hate man. just like star wars - it's easy to get unto the dark
side. but i'm tellin you - it's just as stressful to stay that way. it
takes more work to start shiet up and be angry at someone than it is to
just shrug it off and be on your way. i get too much crap from sexually
deprived men because they build up too much testosterone and can only take
it out on other guys. you get some beer in them, say the wrong words, and
bam - they hold a grudge on you cause in retrospect and all honesty - men
are truly little babies. sorry men - i'm not gay, nor am i a p*ssy....but
honestly, we get too worked up and are probably worse than women cause we
don't release our anger. we keep our feelings bottled up and act like
little babies to try and compensate the way we feel instead of standing up
with a little confidence, being a man, and saying what's on your mind. we
also act more sick than we really are and need more help then we actually
ask for. just stop being a frickin baby and speak up!

okay - too much drama that's unnecessary needs to go away. hope y'all are
having better days!

then there was music!

Wow - my documentary made a magazine! woo hoo!! Exit Weekly is a magazine
based out of New Jersey and luckily, my boy Greg P-diggidy dropped some
knowledge about my film to his editor. Next thing I know, I get a call on
my day off, answer some questions and a week later - bam...I'm public.
It's good P.R. Well - if you think about it, anything to be in the public
eye is good P.R. Good or bad vibes will nontheless make people talk about
you. If I stir up a little contro - sure I'll take it. I just want people
to start taking interest in the matter. Check out the documentary blog
NOW!

I'm on the verge of creating a production company. Still working on a good
name for it though. Didn't know how difficult it was till I started saying
the names out loud. I'm trying to use my vast humor to play a pun on
something that I liked when I was a child. Can't think of anything though.
I'm sure I'll think of something...

MAN - I watched Swingers last night. Didn't realize how much I missed that
movie. It's SO good for what it costs and how it played out production
wise. Here's Jon Favrau, Vince Vaughn, and Ron Livingston broke on their
asses and trying to crack into the biz. Jon writes up this stellar
screenplay and gets in cahoots with one of his friends who's a producer.
She gets Doug Liman into it, just as an advisor. then he gets so caught
into it that he wants to direct it. for like 5 or 6 months, they build up
funding. the shoot for a couple of months and then get it out to the
people. they reached more success through dvd than theatrical rec. the
story of how this movie got made amazes me, as you can see. vince and jon
rock the scenes and ron livingston still plays one of the better straight
men in my opinion (next to steve corral and will farrell). ["Straight Man"
is the character that plays up the "normal" person. he's the guy that is
the everyman and isn't outlandish with his demeanor. past "straight men"
are Felix Unger, mr. drummond, and daddy warbucks.]

rockin da casbah!

I read the news today, oh boy....

i'm seriously running out of beatles songs to name my posts after. i may
start repeating....my apologies.

AH - if you look at the paper today as opposed to one of my prior posts -
netflix is sueing blockbuster for using the same methods of dvd rental.
frickin coincidence city man! maybe someone from netflix is a frequent
flyer of randumb 101 and said, "wait just a gosh darn minute! blockbuster
IS rippin us off!" and again, i'll say that i'm waiting for my comp check
in the mail from netflix. holla!

4 days later from starting a screenplay at 11:30 pm on friday night (after
the coldplay concert which was of less energy than vegas version). i am 64
pages deep and probably only 60 percent done. what sucks is that i know i
have to cut out so much crap, that i don't even know if i'll still have a
full movie in my hands after editing. however, i must say, this screenplay
is taking the life out of me. the only rest that i see throughout my day
(for the past week) has been sleep itself and my morning commute with my
cousin. i just sit there and try to not think of anything. its very
difficult though.

i'm covering for 2 people at work this week. one is out on operation and
the other is nursing a cold. [which i've always thought to have sounded
wierd. in essence of "nursing" a cold, doesn't that mean that you're
taking care of the cold like you want to make the cold to be stronger?? ]
so i'm swamped at the dayjob. right when i get outta here, i write on the
train. once i'm home, i either eat or write. this whole month is asian
american heritage month, which means i have footage to tape every week this
month. thing is, i NEED to finish this screenplay by a deadline of april
17th. i'm mentally and physically tired.

i have no time to watch movies. my netflix is not paying off this month.
SEE - i add on this extra project of a screenplay, and i'm extremely wiped
out. what i hate the most out of it - it doesn't seem real. to me - i
feel like everyone around me thinks this is childplay. like i'm not
serious or it's a daydream with no immediate result to it. i guess it
sucks when everyone in the world wants to be in the movies - but who's
really doing anything about it?

editing is the key to my documentary, screenplay, and in a
way.....life......

"you're so deep that i want to laugh in your face."

the way things are going - they're gonna crucify me!

SO - i have a mission this weekend, which i'm pretty confident about but
not sure if i, personally, can pull it off. it's gonna take dire
determination, imagination, and no sleep. i am presenting to myself a
challenge of my writing skills. THUS - this weekend i will bust out a
screenplay. i've been brainstorming and have characters drawn out, but
haven't written anything solid yet. so, this weekend, i will begin this
friday night and finish by sunday a draft of a screenplay. i'm destined to
write out approximately 120 pages of goodness. it's a murder mystery with
a refrain in the end. this has been lodged up in my head for awhile so i
feel like the beginning part shouldn't be difficult to get through.
however, i think the ending will be the bitch of me. i'll keep ya posted
on this one....

i'm gonna enter it into a competition that has a deadline of april 17th.
wish me luck!

tonight - coldplay concert at the united center. should be fun cause they
had a great concert in vegas. hopefully it'll be close to the same energy
if not better.

i've been on hiatus lately cause time is so crucial. i haven't even had
time to watch any good movies lately. errrrr! i want to see v for
vendetta but i have this screenplay thingy, then the asian american film
festival is in town, and coldplay tonight, etc., etc., etc.

randumb commentary: alright, so i wasn't a coldplay fan to begin with, but
their concert was very cool, so i started to dig'em. i'm not like a #1 fan
or something. i actually like bands like radiohead, white stripes, and the
beatles. i'm pretty ecclectic and can listen to anything. i know how to
appreciate things for what they're worth and can see how or why other
people might like things. SO - don't hate on me or gimmie lip for going to
a coldplay concert if you don't dig their sounds. i dig'em and they put up
a good live show - end story.

it's gettin warmer in chicago! WOO HOO!!!!

junk

i just want to say how much netflix rocks. i only signed up a month ago,
but it really does save me moola. i use to go to blockbuster at least
twice a month and rent at least 2 movies, which would add up to 10 bucks a
visit - thus 20 bucks a month. With netflix, 20 bucks a month gets you 2
movies for like 3 times a month and the bonus is no late fees whatsoever!
there's no late fees at blockbuster, but if you don't return it in a week
after the due date, you have to buy it.

i know, i know....blockbuster has this netflix thingy too, where you can go
online and do it up just like netflix. but why go with the dopleganger
when you can go with the original? and i use to think the whole mailing
thing would be a nuissance - no dice. its totally cool and small enough to
fit in our mailbox. works well.

and now i await my plug check from netflix. haha!

moving randumbly.....

i'm having like a day 2 hangover. i wasn't even plastered on saturday
night, but i guess its the way drinks are made and how many brain cells i
kill off, but i'm still minorly hurt here. it's just a headache that won't
go away. NO - it's not a migrain or "a tumor" (circa Kindergarden Cop,
where boys have penises and girls have vaginas). they say hangovers are
usually products of dehydration, but i've been drinking gallons of water
for the past 2 days. still a little hurt here. it'll pass....

ncaa brackett - you're all screwed!

baby's in black

you know how you can tell when you're starting to feel old? when the joke
"Take my wife please!" begins to be funny. some 16 yr. old kid could
understand why it would be funny, but for some reason, in my older age, I
actually laughed out loud when i heard it (recently re-watching Goodfellas
for a record 187th time). I use to watch Goodfellas religiously during
college - especially my 2nd year. I didn't have classes on fridays, so i
appointed every friday as Goodfellas friday. I must've worn that tape out
cause i watched it so many damn times. it was awesome. then, i stopped
watching it for a good while. last night, i found it "On Demand" and i was
eating, so i figure i didn't have to pay too much attention to it while i
was munching. however, i couldn't take my eyes off the television once it
got on. it was like a rebirth. that movie's so frickin awesome! STILL MY
FAVORITE MOVIE! i need to get away from watching American Beauty for
awhile. Use to be my 2nd or 3rd fav movie - now it's starting to drop in
my personal list. sorta getting beat by tupac resurrection. i swear it's
a frickin good movie and i'm not big on tupac. no joke man...no joke.

ugh...back to work.

gotta git'ya into my life, somehow someway!!

i just realized how much i miss watching conan o'brien. i saw that he's
coming to chicago in may to do some tapings. WOO HOO!! i'm gonna try my
damndest to get tickets. i saw conan live about 4 times during college.
one of my goals in life at one time was to write for conan, but dunno how
far fetched that is now. less we forget that nothing is ever too far
fetched - especially if you're trying to pursue a dream where only a
minimal amount of stars shine bright enough for all to see.

sometimes i think i write too metaphorically. sorry....just gotta try to
catch what i'm saying. sorta like my sense of humor - just gotta catch the
joke. and yes - i do push bad jokes sometimes. but who the f*ck cares -
you never know a bad joke until you try it. someone's gotta give you a
sympathy laugh.

i've lived in chicago for almost 5 years now. (well, technically i'm in
evanston now....so, i've been in chicago for 4 years, and IL for 5 years.)
i've moved around from house to house every year till this past year, when
i moved into a condo with 3 other cousins. this will be the longest i've
stayed in one spot since i lived at home with my parents and that's about 7
years ago. crazy how where you hang your hat can change so many times....

a mezzo mezzo day.

it's gettin betta all the time!!

this is something that i didn't understand till later on in life. i was
part of a fraternity and when i was an undergrad whenever I met alumni, i
did my best to make them my friend. i wanted there to be a sense of truth
behind the word "brotherhood" and i really did make an effort to get to
know this dude that i'm associated with through an organization. however,
the alumnus that i was trying to get to know always seemed too busy and it
was always difficult for him to come around. now - definitely
understandable that there are "real world, out of college" things going on
and then there are "college, i'm getting wasted tonight" things going on -
so those are the different spectrums on the board. but i never understood
why they couldn't do little things every now and then - maybe stop by 2
times a month or give a call to an undergrad to see how things are going.
HOWEVER, now that i'm an adult (or pretend to be), i can see how it gets
difficult to do those little things. here i am, trying to balance these
things on a normal basis: a 40 hour per week job, a total commute time of
2 hours a day, keeping in shape by running at least 2 or 3 times a week
(which is approx. 2 hours a gym visit), my documentary filmmaking career is
another job within itself (i email, do massive research, film gigs, write a
crap load of stuff up, read, read, and read; do marketing, networking, and
trying to make contacts anywhere i can), and to add to this whole shabang,
i need to make room for my girlfriend. Whew - try saying this whole list
under one minute. that's how i feel most of the time.

to add on to the beginning of my topic, i can see how i couldn't or maybe
might not even want to try to relate to some 18 year old kid who's worried
about how to grow funds for rush. BUT for my AKL homies - i feel your pain
brothas. you young ones - just keep on keeping on cause even though that
old alumnus f*cker won't hear me out, just keep doin your own shiet cause
in your world, grabbing your balls and doing stuff is the best example you
can set for everyone else. that's what i did and by learning my place in
the organization, things ran well for me.

NOW, up to date and in relation to today - i may be slacking in the
friendship department. it's hard. it really is. i wish i could keep up
with friends at all times and make sure everyone is always okay. but i
don't have enough time during my days. i don't have time for me sometimes
and when i push myself further to be a better person by helping others - i
really do forget to help myself. it could sound stupid but if you know me,
you could probably see me doing this. i really do try to accommodate to
everyone as much as possible and sometimes i become a d*ck because i need
to have everyone feel alright.

alright...i don't feel like writing this anymore. this is complaining that
i wouldn't want to hear from anyone...so, why should i do this to ya'll,
when i don't even wanna hear it. werd.....

savoy truffle!

you know what i like witnessing when the observee is non-suspecting?
innocence. its so cool to see someone that is important or strong and to
assume that this person is always proper, especially in a work place
environment - but then to see them outside of that persona without them
knowing it. well ....that's just sincere and it makes you appreciate that
person on a different level. BUT this could just be me and taking in the
breath of life to another extent. sometimes writing gets difficult when
you want to create this complex character because there are "rules" to
sticking with the humanity and flaw of a character. its a sense of
consistancy because audience members are more observant than what writers
give them credit for. rule of thumb for writers: write for smart people,
but then again, write to someone that has never heard of it before.
comprende vou? you want to break down a story but don't dumb it down for
people. SO going back to this character thing, and relating it to real
people - how can i be consistant when in the world we live in, people can
change in a minute. HOWEVER, just to write outloud (instead of "think
outloud"), i guess maybe the character's consistent characteristic is to
always change. (i'm trying to be cleaver by always being inconsistant on
spelling 'consistent.') ANYHOO - what initiated this thought was how i
came across the doodlings of someone at work. she's a contract specialist
and when i was going through her files, i saw this butterfly doodle snuck
in along with red penned comments of important legalized terminology. it's
like all this important stuff, and then this butterfly doodle. for the
type of person she is, you wouldn't suspect it. it has a sense of
innocence in it. that all these hardworking older folks that we can easily
get irritated with on a daily basis was at one time a young kipper that
touched imagination in their unharmed mind. unharmed by what society has
influenced them to accept as right or wrong. unharmed by bad experiences
that they may always accept to be "wrong situations," but when in fact it
could have been a one time or two time fluke. NOT that i'm saying people
cannot assume, but again i will reiterate - this might just be me. my
blog, my thoughts, my words.

moving along - were you part of a fan club? do they even do that anymore?
like the kirk cameron fan club? i guess there are more internet savvy kids
out there that just join listservs about their favorite person. what fun
is that? i would've joined the punky brewster fan club and seen how she
suffered the problems of big boobs and what she did to overcome the jugs.

NCAA!! Are y'all about the MADNESS?!?! I am and tonight I will continue
to get my fix...

p.s. i am now having a hard time thinking of beatles song titles as my
post up titles from the top of my head. i'm sure i'm missing a lot, but
MAN....this is rough...

freeee as a bird

randumb:

how long do you hang on to your parents' house keys from the time you move
out to live on your own? a year? 6 months? just give it to them when you
move out? not sure....

it's march madness time, baby! gettin the bracketts goin and i'm in about
4 pools too many. i've never won this thing and this year, i'm picking
different winners for every brackett. so come on Duke, UConn, and Texas!!
(i know, i know....i have UConn winning for 2 pools, so that's why i only
named 3 schools). have fun this thursday peoples!

you know how hard it is to plan a bachleor party without going unto a porn
site? pretty damn hard! i mean...i'm not the best man, but our best man
wants a contribuatory effort from the groom's party. thus i am helping
search for venues, liquors, and topless shot girls. however, you can never
get too raunchy without getting unto a porn website. then you get the pops
ups and then the possible viruses, and then these things automatically
install crap on your harddrive that you don't know how to uninstall, then
they setup their porn website as your homepage and next time you go to open
up explorer (or firefox or navigator if you're living in 1997...holla
rutgers!) you get all the same pop ups and computer problems. see what we
go through to satisfy a man on his last days as a single being! are
bachelorette parties any easier??

anyone wanna donate to my documentary? i'm in the middle of writing up
proposals to gain sponsorships. the downside - deadlines and when money
would actually being coming in. don't know if it would be in time with the
timeline i had in mind. we'll see.....

back to monotony....

we're sgt. peppa'z lonely hearts club band, i hope you will enjoy the show....

i am not a coffee drinker. i'm a tea person, but i'm not anti-coffee. so
i will indulge on the caffiene if i need it. right now i just had the
infamous grande caramel macchiato bla bla skim milk light whip creme
splenda bla bla. ANYHOO - good stuff, till it gets down to that last drop
that's full of caramel residue and pure shot of caffiene - yowza! i did a
little body shake after i drank it.

randumbly - isn't that wierd?? have you ever experienced that little body
shake. it's when you're body takes in or feels something that really isn't
right to its system. so it gives you a shake or warning signal. sorta
like when you cough the first time you inhale a cigerette - which i am
totally free of. thank god on my smelling system. no offense to cigerette
smokers, cause i was part of the club for about 8 years, but for the last
year i've been on and off and recently i can say right now that i have
officially quit smoking. WERD BIOTCH! no joke. now don't get me wrong -
if i'm completely hammered or tokishly grinning, i might partake in a
stick, but somehow my body does the shake and i know that its something
that i don't like. since i've been clean - geeez....smelling senses??
where the hell did you come from?? it's amazing how much i can breathe
better and smell things with acute attention. however, i will NOT become
one of these pricks that have the need to pretend cough or say something
under my breath to someone that smokes. i've been there before, so i know
what its like to be a smoker. BUT, to continue, i'm not fond of people
that think that cutting back to lights or ultra lights will help in your
cause to stop smoking. the only REAL way to do it is to either get help or
quit cold turkey. the way i see if is that your body and the habit itself
are keen to each other. in other words, when it gets together, they like
to hang out with each other for that quick fix of 5 minutes. but if you
want to quit - you're gonna have to WANT it that you will be able to do it.
don't gimmie this bull shiet about cutting back and then missing it so
badly. just keep remembering why it's bad and stay strong! SO if you tell
me you're quitting or trying to stop smoking, don't look for sympathy from
me. once you tell me you want to quit - you better not be lying to
yourself and me, cause i will question why you're smoking a cigerette if
you break one out after saying those werds. sorry - that's just me. i'm
not a mean person and i'll probably not care the first couple of times
around when you break a stick out. but after awhile, you're preaching gets
old and if you keep saying "i'm gonna quit" but don't show any changes -
i'm just gonna shake my head in disappointment. ALRIGHT - enough of this
bull shiet. happier times....

randumbly - i'm watching anything box tonight. 80's stuff. don't know
them that well, but i've been listening to them for the past week. they're
okay. i'm not that psyched, but i'm excited to go to a concert. should be
fun nonetheless.

st. patty's day is big in chicago. they turn lake michigan into a sea of
green. very cool sight. the funny part - lake michigan is naturally
green. yuck.....

i'm eating at millinium park grill today. it has the #3 best burger out of
the 10 top burgers in chicago - according to the chicago tribune. cannot
wait!

ANYHOO, have a good summer. k.i.t. b.f.f.

ya say you want a revolution, well ya know...

OKAY - so here are my post oscar thoughts:

-Crash -- good deal! it shouldn't be a surprise - if brokeback wasn't in
the running, crash would've taken the cake easily. i'm actually more happy
that haggis won for best original screenplay AND even though he was as
nervous as he was - he still had a good point in his speech that stood for
what his movie was all about.

-gimmie a break with the representation of races. yeah, yeah - so i'm
doing a film about asian americans in mainstream culture. and ya know what
- asians are thrilled that Ang Lee finally won the grand prize after
getting shot down for crouching tiger, hidden dragon (when he had also won
the prominant awards that come before the big dance). congrats to ang!
BUT 3-6 mafia wins the oscar and african americans still feel that they
weren't represented any better in that awards show. didn't you see? there
was still a breakthrough! rap has never EVER been involved with the
academy awards and not only did it get nominated and performed BUT it even
won! 3-6 mafia didn't look unhappy to me. they were totally genuine and
awesomely thrilled to win. you never see people who win get that joyful -
these guys showed on the outside how these prominant actors that win really
feel on the inside. so that's that!

-best speech of the night: george clooney. can this guy be anymore cool?
and then he was funny too. talking about being 1997 sexiest man and being
batman. then he got a little deep and talked about the la la land of
hollywood. it was very short, blunt, and had meaning behind it. cheers
georgey boy....

-nobody cried. however, it looked like phoenix was gonna lose it after
hoffman was named. you'll get another chance brotha...you're frickin good
like that.

-jon stewart was okay. nothing great. he tried to throw some political
humor into the mix and i don't think the crowd was diggin it too much. i
will say this though - he's not afraid to do what comics are suppose to do
on the oscars - say what they want. at least he carried it well. will he
host again? don't hold your breath....steve martin is still my favorite
host. sorry billy - you've just done it too many times.

-still not sure about the reese witherspoon win. deserving? gonna have to
watch walk the line again...

-didn't like the music playing in the background during speeches. sorta
annoying. it's suppose to be more of an indication to end your speech
soon. not to add more drama to it.

-lily tomlin and meryl streep. totally funny and i believe that it was
more improvised than thought out. they must said, "let's read each other's
lines" back stage before they came out. it was good stuff.

-will farrell and steve carral - also funny stuff. BUT i'm gonna have to
give the funny man award to ben stiller. great man - really funny with the
green suit!

these are my thoughts and i'm stickin to it (unless i think otherwise)....

threeee cool cats (beatles version)

i've realized that robot jokes - just might not be funny anymore. i'm
gonna have to digress....

oscars this sunday. i'm somewhat starting to lean more towards Crash
winning the grand prize instead of Brokeback. Brokeback is still a safer
bet, but Crash is such a kick ass movie. i'm not really sure. however, i
will place my money on crash getting the best original screenplay - no
doubt. i think hoffman will upset ledger for capote. i saw north country
last night - and that's the only movie i think i've seen out of the best
actress column. however, going with storylines and criteria - i'm gonna
have to go with the chick in Transamerica. NOT ms. ryan phillipe - sorry.
for supporting dude - jake gyllenhall is gonna rock it over clooney (...i'm
so wrong on this though...clooney's been getting too much hype). and for
supporting chick - rachel weisz. ang lee's gonna grab a statue for the
asian peoplez....holla! and i'm gonna go with march of the penguins in the
documentary section.

i think my picks are bad. don't lean my way if you need to place money.
however, i try to go with my own opinion, mixed with the media's. i still
lean more toward what i think is right. i'm still upset with last year's
snubs on my scorsese picks.

RANDUMBLY,

i'm busy this weekend. i'm goin with my friend to a bar tonight after
having dinner with my girlfriend after work. then tomorrow, i have a
documentary interview at 3, followed by late dinner with a groomsmen
meeting for a wedding in september, then possibly another bar event later
at night. on sunday, i have the oscars - which is a bigger event to me
than others. i'm looking more forward to this than all the other stuff
this weekend. so, its cool that its the last thing. way to end the
weekend.

sorry to sound drawn out and blan today. too much going on right now and
too much in my head....

errrrrrrrrrrrrr!

alllll i want is you.....

you ever catch people do indispicable, cleansing procedures at wrong
moments? per se - picking a wedgy, picking nose in the car, passing gas,
smelling breath, etc. etc. what's funny is that everyone else does it - so
why should it be such a disgusting act if you know you need to do these
things to be more comfortable? okay, okay - i understand. sure, i don't
wanna walk around and suddenly walk into an unprecedented field of
unpleasurable aroma - however, there could be designated area for things
like that. like the corners of rooms should be understood as a place to
"fix yourself." SO...if you needed to burp or scratch yourself in an
unattractive looking way - go to the corner of the room, do it, and no one
should think different.

whatever - maybe it's just me....

randumb - are you yourself when you google your name? i am actually my
first hit when i google my name. it's actually me. not that my name is
common, but there ARE actually a bunch of jonald's out there. scary
enough. yet - i guess i'm the most famous or hit upon person as far as the
world wide web is concerned. all i have to say is - STOP STALKING ME!
just ask me out on a date already - geeez....

(FYI - i just googled my name to see if this last paragraph was true. it
wasn't me. i'm losing rank. must be pissing people off lately. guys -
i'm just tellin you how it is from a blunt point of view. if it's not your
friends, then who else will tell you that we're all ugly! ha - i joke...i
joke...)

WHERE IS:

-yakoff smirnoff?
-potsy from happy days?
-bell biv devoe?
-manudo?
-my mind?

i'm done.

p.s. coldplay concert in march @ the united center. woo hooooo!

now it's time to say good night. good night, sleep tight. dream sweet dreams for me. dream sweet dreams for you....

randumb thoughts explosion: KABOOOOOOOM!!!!

--before email - were there happy hour memos that went around the office?
and was it sent on monday till friday, only to have like 15 names on it??
this versus today's technology of e-vites that have 100 names on it and
sent 2 weeks in advance.

--you know those sensor sinks and sensor hand dryers in the bathroom? has
any one of those ever turn on with you in the bathroom, far from it, and no
one else standing in front of the sensor?? freaky, eh? makes me think of
ghosts when it happens to me. then i sit on the ground, curl into the
fetal position, shut my eyes, and wish i were in my happy place. "there's
no place like strip clubs. there's no place like strip clubs."

--there should be some sort of olympic day at the office. not like we
should all get together and watch the olympics - but more like competitive
office events that would test our skills that we deem to be so monotonous
and boring. like speed filing or target typing or coffee drinking
competition. ooooh, that last one's a little dangerous for hyper activity
reasons. but wouldn't everyone want to be better at work then, if they
knew that they got to compete at this thing every year and the grand prize
team could get like a week vacation to use whenever throughout the year.
isn't this a cool idea?

--what the hell is going on in the homeland of the phillippines?? first
mudslides happen that are trapping people, who's only form of communicating
is by texting. who knew that texting could save lives? AND now there are
riots going on to overthrow the president and take over the government?
what the hell is happening over there? someone seriously needs to go there
and just straighten out there government system. they got problems! maybe
it's time to make that change! "i'm lookin at the man in the mirror! i'm
askin him to change his ways!" [if i ever quote a michael jackson song
again, it's because i'm trying to make you laugh....but also...trying to
make you think. you ain't bad! you ain't nuttin!]

--pencils are cool. i don't know when i lost track of how cool they are.
they erase and stuff. cool....

--what is the cure to static? i hate it. new pet peeve!! how the hell do
i get rid of it around me?? i've tried to wipe things with fabric softner,
but that doesn't work. must i laundry and dry ALL my clothes to get rid of
whatever the culprit may be? i don't get it.....someone send some help.

while my guitar gently weeps.....

here's your gay man story for the day:

so i'm not a homophobe. i'm in the arts for pete's sake (...by the
way...who the hell is pete and why do we always sake him???). i'm
confident of my masculinity and actually do have homosexual friends through
the theater community. ANYHOO, besides this, i do think they're funny
mother f*ckers when they're confident of their sexuality and have a sense
of humor about it. SO...i was in the copy room the other day and this guy
who i wasn't sure of (sexual orientation wise) was walking toward our huge
laser printing machine (...let's call him "Metro Man"). i was at the xerox
machine and there was another dude standing next to the laser printer
(let's call him "Mr. Schmoe"). now i'm always interested in verifying the
validity of my "gay-dar," so that's why i actually questioned which team
this guy was batting for. Sometimes you just never know how you should
joke with people and you don't want to come off as offensive if you're
saying shiet that doesn't come across the right way. i'm sure many of you
understand.

Metro Man sees that the laser printer isn't working right and Mr. Schmoe is
trying to see what's wrong with it. Mr. Schmoe called the help desk to
send someone to that copy room in order to fix it, so he says to Metro Man,
"The guy didn't come down this morning." SO, Metro Man, who seemed to be
impatient, retorts back, "Yeah, yeah....the story of my life." TA-DA!! AY
- YO!! and thus we have verified it with a funny ass story to boot.....

didn't get it? read it slower and make the dialogue into sexual innuendos,
for pete's sake!!

woke up, got outta bed, dragged a comb across my head....

BALANCE. an essential necessity in order to gain a better perspective of
things to do in life. you need to BALANCE in order to do as many multiple
life experiencing tasks as you can. without BALANCE - you have an
overabundance of a particular thing which is either good or bad. however,
if you BALANCE this particular item/task, then your percentages of it being
good or bad tend to equal out. now, i'm not saying that this is applicable
for all faucetts in life, but it sure is an important characteristic to
hold as a person that seeks to establish a better being in a general
treatment. but the scary part of this insight is that if you take tender
care of something you love and cherish, the balance is not only the
response back to you, but also the negative balance if the love fails.
just like the beatles song goes, "and in the end, the love you make is
equal to the love you take." OH SO TRUE....

randumbly - work thought:

-i'm sick of those brown-nosing, fake smiling, non-caring, behind the back
talking, underworking complainers!! There is a little union of people that
don't know each other but are part of this club because there's one in
every office. there's always that one person that finds it necessary to
complain when complaining doesn't do anything to make it better. he/she
doesn't even do that much work, but they complain and brown-nose to the
boss so much that it makes it seem that they're doing work. NOT!
soooo...NOT! and then they're nice to you, but in reality, they talk
behind your back cause they're also the gossip king or queen of the office,
which is a close relative to being a tattle-tail if you don't get your work
in on time or do it incorrectly. gimmie a break - how old are you?? i'm
getting white hairs just thinking about it....

randumbly - speaking of hairs:

-am i really at that age when i can tell if i'm balding or not. i mean, i
knew some kids that were able to tell when they were in high school, but as
you get older, it becomes more apparent for the not knowing. i'm not
completely going 8 ball, but i can see it happening and there is definitely
a receed action happening. i don't like it....(not that i don't shave my
head...but i still like knowing the fact that i can grow my hair out if i
want to...like knowing i can go buy cigerrettes even though i don't smoke
anymore).

-randumbly - movie watch:

-saw Hotel Rowanda w/Don Cheadle this past weekend. he should've frickin
won over Jamie Foxx. no offense. i like the foxx, but cheadle just rocks
this movies. i got goose bumps watching him break down, where as i wasn't
feeling Ray. HOWEVER, i was feeling the music - which is (i guess) a
stronger thing to try to vibe to in terms of the intent of the film. you
just figure that with the issues at hand, the academy would've pointed more
towards cheadle. and yes - i'm a loser because on my oscar ballot that
night, i had leo dicaprio marked down to win. but i was totally in love
with aviator. sorry. sorry. i'm a scorsese b*tch. can't help it. this
year - i'm voting for shhhhhhhhhhhh....i'll tell you on that weekend.
bwwwoohahahhahhaa!!

the long and winding door that leads to your door will never disappear, i've seen that road before....

greetings hallmark holiday believers,

as we drop our loads of hard earned labor unto fattening chocolates and
adolescent teddy bears wrapping their arms around heart shaped pillows -
less not forget the actual bona fide myth that created this day that
hallmark greeting cards and SDT florists have exploited into a mecca of
importance compared to other holidays.

Once upon a time there was this dude named Cool Petey Valentine and he fell
in love with this chick that he met at a fancy-shmancy ball pah-tay during
those medieval times - ya dig? So Petey was getting his groove on and
bumped into a cutey pie while kickin the robot on the dance floor. he
couldn't believe his eyes and thought that he was living a dream. only in
this dream he wasn't naked and his 6th grade classmates weren't laughing at
him. when he snapped out of his daydream, he only stood there to realize
that the hot little number vanished from the scene of the crime. The
crime? She stole his heart. awwwwww - poor petey V.!! however, he roamed
and played curious like a cat by wondering the 'bouts of the castle. when
he finally found her - he tried to kick it to her only to get haulted by
her royal pain in the arse father, who just happened to own the castle.
trying to get his mack on - petey V. played the playa and told the king to
not hate on him, but to hate the game. only thing that petey didn't know
was that the game was over and he got his bootey beat by the royal guards
known as sir "swift kick" and sir "to your nuts." thus, before petey got
his exile going - he dropped a letter in front of his lady, only to sign it
as "Love your Valentine." and hence, this all happening on the 14th day of
the 2nd month in the year of the lord - you have your Valentine's Day!
ta-da! the end.

now aren't we all just a little bit smarter? i know i'm not.

so go - take your sweety out to a hot steak dinner at the outback and don't
forget to hand her a bouquet of those silk, fake roses that you got at the
gas station for 5 ducketts. cause just like christmas - it's the thought
that counts. HOLLLA!

the magical mystery tour is hoping to take you away...

it's actually getting harder and harder to think of beatles songs as my
post subject. i don't use a list, nor do i cross off anything after i use
one. so i never know if i'm repeating one or if i'm using the right words
or not. it's all from the top of my head. i'm hoping there will be a
future documentary made where they will need a beatles song phraser and i
can get interviewed - my credential on the bottom will say - "beatles song
phraser referrer mastermind dude"

ANYHOO....work has been rough since i've been covering for someone. hence
my lack of posts lately. sorry....my apologeeeez.

here are your randumb thoughts from past vegas dreams and present breakfast
ideas:

--is there a way to notice if someone is from out of town or not in vegas?
we went to the swimming pool when it was only 70 degrees, to which i was
thinking that vegas people must think how crazy we were and how cold
outside it was. i personally don't care. we're from chicago where 10 out
of the 12 months in the year, we see and know cold. we're not alaska, but
we are the extremity known as the windy city. those 2 months where we
don't know cold - we know this other thing called extreme, melt your face
and burn your bacon on the street HOT. fun stuff - how wierd our weather
is. SO...we went to the pool and i sat in 70 degree weather sun. i still
got a little color on me skin and feel filipino colored once again.

--what's up with these nightly, behind the scene, undercover investigative,
dramatization re-enactment reports on blogs and myspace and friendster
stuff?? old guys are being perverts? kids are pretending to be older than
what they are? killers and stalkers use it as a resource?? STOP THE
INSANITY!! get lives people! geeez...you would've thought only crazy
people do these things! bboooohhahahahahahaa!!

JUST KIDDING! but really - can y'all be normal if you use these things?!
i mean, i read other people's blogs, myspaces, friendsters...and yes, i
like looking at pictures and reading about people i don't know. but what
i'm not doing is trying to learn about every person i become infatuated
about. sure - you can read someone's blog, think he/she is the coolest
person, but you still have no clue or idea what he/she is REALLY all about.
people write blogs, make up myspace/friendsters to release thought. it's
sorta like an artform. an outlet if you will. people can totally be
themselves and then some choose not to be at all. they can live as a
totally different person by portraying themselves with pictures they find
on the web and words they take out of a book. THEREFORE, my advice to
people that are living this other, secret identity, lavish lifestyle - just
don't be crazy. wake up! there ARE other people out there who use this to
become better writers, or to network on this technology called the
informational highway....NOT just trying to hook up with some finally legal
18 year old chick who can take a saucy picture with her camera phone. MOVE
IT ALONG COWBOY....MOVE IT ALONG!

--tea is good. bananas are great. and red ink ballpoint pens rock.

--current wishlist: - i wish to get an acceptance letter from northwestern
soon! (please, please, please, please!) - i wish to go to
sundance/toronto/chicago asian american/tribecca/slamdance/cannes film
festival within the next 2 years (not as a regular, ol'viewer but as a
entrant). -i wish to eat something ethnic this weekend. - i wish i had on
cooler socks today. -i wish it were 4:30 pm right now. -i wish my
documentary were 85% done instead of 25%.

fin.

maybe you can drive my car! yes i'm gonna be a star!

sorry....work actually has a hold on me...

quickies:

--cinnamon tea from barnes and nobles - kick ass!

--vegas made me $100 bucks richer from gambling but completely broke from
partying. carribean stud poker is my friend.

--i'm a notary public. in a wierd sense, i work for the state. why don't
they give me state benefits then?

--too much fiber makes your stomach talk to other grumbling stomachs,
saying "geeez...there's a lot of hot air in here!"

--COLDPLAY ROCKED MGM GRAND ARENA!! Such an awesome concert! not a huge
coldplay fan, but this concert possibly made me into one. must get their
music and am definitely going to the chicago show in march! hollla!

the end for now....