OH DARLIN! if you leave me, i'll never make it alone...

Are there really bed bugs? Cause for some reason, I have a bite on my leg.
It looks like a mesquito bite, but I'm pretty sure there aren't that many
mesquitos around in Chicago this time of year. I mean...maybe they've
migrated indoors, but as far as I know, i haven't seen any mesquitos flying
around. so, i'm pretty certain its bed bugs. WATCH OUT! (there's also a
monster in your closet, so look out for him too!)

randumbly speaking - there's always that specific time during my work day
when i get super sleepy. i can't figure it out. i've even tried to
prepare for it by going into the file room and doing some work that needs
for me to be on my feet....but nope, i still get sleepy at the same time
everyday during work. it's usually around 2 o'clock. it's pretty wierd
cause when i was on a little stint where i was sleeping really really late
at night (for a work nite alla school nite), my sleepy time got pushed to
around 4 o'clock. so i would be energetic throughout the whole day, but
then get really sleepy the last hour of work. however, i'm back to 2 pm
sleepyness. it's reminds me of college lectures -- when i would fall
asleep for like 30 seconds during a lecture and suddenly feel refreshed
when i shook myself awake, realizing i had fallen asleep. (OR, i just go
to the bathroom and take a 15 minute nap in a stall....no biggie). HEY -
i'm a good hard worker...i just get sleepy like anyone else. don't shoot
me for needing to rest my body for 20 minutes.

even wierder - i don't get sleepy on weekends. just here at work. that's
it.

moving right along -- does Axe or Old Spice really work like in the
commercials? i use Axe deodorant, but it's not like i'm getting anymore
tail or anything. i mean...sure chicks check out "the jude" but come on
now...i'm just naturally flirtateous....HAHA! psyche! really though -- do
any girls get aromatically aroused by these products that advertise them to
be artificial pheromones? just wanted to know cause i was tempted to buy
old spice body wash the other day, but only cause i was thinking, "would
this get me more tail?" BUT then again...i'm always thinking of that
question....

remember gang -- you can be a winner at the game of Life, cause reading is
fundamental, and the more you know the more you'll grow. peace, love, and
recycle....b*tches!

sexy sadie, what have you done? you made a fool of everyone!

random scene in my head:

she says: "So i see you're still writing...."

he says: "wouldn't give it up for the world. things have tried to stop me
but i gotta keep doing what hasn't betrayed me."

she says: "i never betrayed you. i moved on when i thought everything was
over."

he says: "no, you ran away when everything felt comfortable. you got
scared."

she says: "i'm not as strong as you. when i get too close to someone, i
get scared because i don't know what to do."

he says: "there isn't a handbook that says that you have 'to do things' in
a relationship. you take risks in life to experience new adventures, but
that doesn't mean that you can't experience these new things with someone
you love. that's the true test in a relationship. to see how far you can
keep going with that person. to try new things together...."

(this is where i turn it into a porn....)

she says: "speaking of trying new things, i just bought these beads...."

(WAIT...that was too easy....let's turn it into laguana beach....)

he says: [giggles] "sorry...you're just too pretty. i just wanted to say
that."

she says: "what are you looking at? stop looking at me like that!"
[girly giggle and light slap on shoulder]

he says: "i just think you're so cool and (pause)....i dunno...that's it."
[looks away and gazes on the ground, while making small eye contact here
and there]

she says: "come on. let's go." [she holds her hand out and takes him to
her hot tub."

(WAIT! sorry...this can totally turn into porn also. i'm done with this
scene.)

FADE OUT.

(aren't you glad i'm a writer? and just when you thought i wasn't
listening to every word you people say. SO, sure...yes...you are in my
movie. you just don't know who it is that's playing you.
bwooohahahahha!!)

so i sing the song of love for juuuuulia

i officially hate sundays. at one time in my life, i didn't mind it
because i would not do a damn thing and people knew not to bother me on
sundays cause i was completely useless. it would be this invisible rule to
not bother jay on sundays. but of recent, with personal projects being
very important to keep consistant work up to date, i need to use my
weekends to full advantage. however, the last couple of weekends have made
me feel depressed on sunday. i would wake up later in the afternoon,
trying to sleep away any form of drunkiness from the night before and
possibly try to "catch up" on missed sleep throughout the week. then i
would lay in bed, wondering if i should do work or not and trying to
convince myself that watching a movie is doing "work" also cause i have to
study documentary formats. although it isn't completely false, it is a
scapegoat from doing something more productive.

GAWD -- don't you hate that! when you know you're doing something wrong
and you know what's wrong about it...but you're still doing it. goes with
alot of crap in life -- "i need to workout more." "i need to eat more
healthy." "just go up to her and say hello." "stay away from her, she's
bad news."

not to get away from the topic at hand (which i've very good at doing),
sundays are days when i wish i could lay in bed with someone, keeping warm
and watching good movies, while getting up every now and then to cook a
good meal in between our laziness. however, it's turned into a day when i
fight a mental battle to try to be more productive because i won't get
anywhere with my dream of making movies if i don't.

i feel like i'm waiting for something exciting to happen. i hate that
feeling cause i've felt it before and when something good would happen, i
didn't know it cause the hype in my head was too great in waiting. over
this past weekend, someone asked me if i was still writing sketches.
sadly, i'm not. but i will have to for the sake of my asian american show.
i have already brainstormed and there's so much i want to do, but i think i
might be scared. not scared to write, but scared to meet expectation.
people who know me, know that i can create greatness and i believe in
myself to create greatness as well....however, this is a show that i'm
gonna do all by myself. this is going to be my baby and i don't want
anything but perfection for it. this is also going to be my true test to
see where i stand in terms of writing. i haven't showcased my own personal
works since Sex, Lies, and Asparagus - 2 years ago. and that was only 2
sketches.

however, i have things up my sleeve for this show. i think i know how to
rock it already. it's all a matter of getting it on paper. how the hell
do i balance daytime work, documentary, gym, and writing with personal life
and the search for happiness? don't ask me...but i'm somehow still doing
it. one of those things are gonna give and i hope it isn't the gym cause i
feel good about the way i look. and it can NEVER be writing cause
well...it just can't. and my documentary can NOT end cause it's already
begun. i have to finish now! as always -- i need more time!

i hate sundays!

Ohhhhh! Dirty maggie may, you have taken her away....

mental note: A. never throw around your red pen when you're wearing a
white shirt. B. don't think altoids have some kind of oxide in it to get
red ink out of shirts. C. don't use a damp brown napkin from corner
bakery to scrup a red ink mark out of your shirt. D. be physically apt to
have one arm up in the air at all times to cover up a pen mark when talking
to someone.

the end.

speaking words of wisdom, Let It Be....

p.s. (PRE-script): i'm still continuing to name my posts after the first
Beatles song that I think of once i have to write a title for a post.

new pet peeve: i hate when you cover for someone at work, then a superior
brings work that the "missing person" usually does to which you have no
knowledge of knowing how to do. puts you in a bind, makes you look
entirely incompetant, and the only way out is to be able to be a good
orator. thank god i'm that AND funny with a cute to play with (...GAWD,
you're extremely conceeded!). no - really though....people should be more
confident in situations like this. this is why -- that superior that gave
you the work, i'd say at least 7 outta 10 bosses don't know what/how to do
the things you do. the exception to the rule is if they made their way to
the top by going through what you do....but in the administrative business
world -- secretaries and "copy boys" and doc aids and "right hand men" just
do what needs to get done by any means necessary. as long as it's neat,
clean, with no complaints afterwards. THEREFORE, you can work your way
around the administrative track if you're a good orator that looks
intelligent/cute AND you can back up your talk every now and then. BUT
like i said in a previous post -- i actually DO work at work. i don't like
to use this tactic unless i have to.

smartest line in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire: when Professor
Dumbledore was talking to Harry about the things that he'll start to face
in life: "You can either do the right thing or do what is easy." OH -- so
damn smart! think about it! even in the world of computers when things
are getting more technologically advanced to make things easier...if you
don't know the backbones of it and HOW it works, then you'll get screwed
when it breaks down. If you go through the trouble of reading instruction
manuals and knowing devices in and out, you took the difficult route (NOT
EASY) and did the right thing cause you'll more likely be less screwed if
something were to happen. That's just one example. but that quote works
in so many ways. Please learn to take meanings out of movies -- it makes
life more insightful!

randumb thought: you think people that have warts on their hands actually
have genital warts and got warts on their hands because they suffer from
chronic masturbation? not far fetched if you ask me!

thanksgiving randumbness: even as far back as social studies in 5th grade,
i've always accepted this holiday to be another reason to eat alot and get
drunk. that's what the pilgrims and the indians did. [enter dramatic
music with gong to set the scene] in a deep movie trailer voice: When the
worlds of man and earth combine together to celebrate a moment of
unity...there is ONLY ONE REASON! A battle of gobble vs. fork. What can
people do to save a country from interior mass destruction?! They call a
legend. Academy Award winning actor, Russell Crowe, plays John Smith.
"Hold it right there brown man! Nobody passes without food in their hand!"
Academy Award nominee Ken Watanabe as Chief Wigwam, "oook ah towee ba! You
intrude on mother soil. Give me drink of drunk!" A holiday event directed
by Oliver Stone. [GONG!] "T-GIVING: THE FIGHT FOR WHITE MEAT!" [Fade to
black. GONG!]

i love having a movie imagination....

happy thanksgiving b*tches -- it's a celebration!

I WILLLLLLLLLL

today is the GOBLET OF FIRE! or..."Harry Potter Gets Easily Arroused: the
Broomstick Story." I actually like the Harry Potter films and books. I've
only read up to the third book, but have the 4th book waiting by my bed for
me to read when I have the chance (....i haven't had a chance since i
bought it 5 months ago). I have like 4 books that I need to read in my
room. 4 movies that i need to watch in my room. Right now, the movies
are: Rope (which i've seen before, but i vowed to rewatch it...and now
that i own it...i haven't watched it), the Scorsese film with Harvey
Keitel....can't put my finger on the title, Old Boy, and Born in Brothels
-- the oscar winning documentary. All the documentaries i've been watching
have been very interesting and have all these different takes on the
subject matter at hand. It's slowly meshing up ideas on what I want to
write up as a voice-over narration for "That Asian Thing." Ready to make
y'all laugh, cry, and think....b*tches.

In other news - I've become more lax at work recently. I think it's
because they've accepted how young I am and now we're all joking with each
other. When it comes to jokes, I come all over their faces! uh...i
mean...i just "tickle their balls" (reference to previous post about this
saying).

Tangently -- people are starting to get sick. cover your mouths y'all!
it's courtesy for the sick and the unsick to cover your mouths (you sar
infected, malnutritioned, throat clearing, snot snorting, drinking cold
things when you should drink room temperature things, really, really, sick
person!)

randumbly -- isn't diet mountain dew code red just fruit punch? taste like
it.

we have a company christmas party coming up during the first week of
december. i'm not sure if i want to go or not. i've actually grown closer
with this group that i'm working with now than any other group since i've
been with this company (about 3 or 4 years). it might be quite possible
for me to show my face. i think a big thing for me is because i work with
the "big boys" now. interestingly enough -- when i use to work with just
regular administrative people, they use to say that they didn't know their
project boss very well. now, i'm in the midst of all these project bosses
and they're just regular people too. actually, some of them are pretty
cool (in that old person kind of way) OR....OR...OR....i'm becoming old
myself and starting to understand what they like as i morph into "that old
guy." -- uh....yeah, right....NOT! totally a kid still. hollla!!

Her majesty's a pretty nice girl but she doesn't have a lot to say

i'm a planner. i'm an initiator. i like to start things up for the sake
of peoples' interest and beings of good times. i like doing it, HOWEVER i
do get tired. i do get worn out. i do get weary. What i thrive off of is
appreciation or equal gesture. i'm a writer. i observe human behavior. i
pick up pretty quickly on the characteristics of people and understand the
good and bad qualities of each person. you may think you have a good
understanding too, but i have it down to detail where it is broken down by
questions of particular hand movements or seat adjustments. i even analyze
voice tones and posture. there are the little things that are understood
to be routine, however there is meaning behind it. WITH THIS, i know who
takes full advantage of my initiation. i know if i'm taken for granted for
the good things that i do. to some, they deserve it (the gift of giving)
because he/she has given back to me in someway. to others, they don't
deserve it because they're ASSUMING and they just understand it to be a
"jay thing" when in fact, it's actually an "everybody thing." for me, when
you jump into the cast of invitees, a helping hand is always a good gesture
-- but remember -- 1.) it's a HELPING hand, which means that you're
SUPPORTING where support is needed and 2.) never assume. don't take things
or people for granted, especially if its good gesture. now i don't go
LOOKING for people to get me back cause i know it doesn't always happen. i
like to set things up so everyone can have a good time and have something
to do. all i'm saying is that it can get tiresome to keep on going when
you don't get good feedback. you need a motivator. that's why people have
a muse, a girlfriend/wife, a fan club, a manager, or a family that knows
how to express feelings. even for my documentary, whenever i get a survey
back that says "good luck" or "this is something that needed to be done" or
"this is cool man" ...it makes me feel like i want to do more. i'm
actually reaching out to someone with something that i enjoy doing (unlike
being a doctor or a wedding planner or a priest). what if someone were to
plan something where i didn't give ANY help and it went smoothly and i
didn't have to worry about "who's driving?" or "who's going?" or "how
should we get there?" or "what time are we leaving?" someone would tell me
-- be ready at 7 pm to go here, bla bla will pick us up, bla bla will meet
us there, and then we can go to bla bla afterwards. as cool as that would
be....wierdly enough, i betcha i couldn't handle not having my hand
somewhere in there to help plan.

maybe this is some unknown condition. give-alot-without-getting-back-itis.
whatever. shut up jay....just do your thing.

i just want to run and sleep now.

imma be in jersey for christmas if you're interested.

If I fell.....

Everyone always seems to be in slow motion on Mondays. It's sorta funny
cause if you mess up or do something dumb, you can always say,
"Ugh...sorry....Monday." And then people just nod, giggle, and agree. The
opposite rings true for Fridays. You're more upbeat and seem to slack off
just a little bit more. SO, when you go out to eat for lunch and you're
with coworkers....there's always that one coworker that says, "We gotta get
back in like 10 minutes man." You're allowed to say, "Take it easy....it's
Friday. We got time...." And then everyone nods, giggles, and agrees. I
don't know where during this time, everyone turns into a small, asian
school girl -- but if that's what nodding, giggling, and agreeing looks
like, then call these people Soon Yi, cause that's how they react!

I'm mentally confused and depressed of late. I'd rather not say why, but
rather say how lop sided my emotions have been. I'll lay in bed restless,
thinking of too much stuff and not wanting to sleep. I'm obsessed with
trying to figure out what went wrong and how I might've been the root of
the problem, when I know in my head that I wasn't really at fault. I use
work to cover up the way I feel and I'd rather be eating than exercising.
Old habits that I got rid of are slowing creeping their way back into my
routine when they shouldn't. Showers make me feel better. My humor is at
a low and writing funny stuff...well, isn't really funny. I don't show how
I really feel because no one should have to say, "I'm sorry" to me and I'm
always a person that would rather make someone smile than bring up serious
issues to the table. My mentality is still strong though, but I'm in the
midst of needing to pep talk myself before moving forward. Pep talks to
yourself are actually very supportive if you ever need motivation. You
really have to be good at it though and know yourself as a person. I know
that if I talk a minute to say the goods and bads of doing something, then
I believe my ability to do it or not. In most cases, I can do whatever the
hell I wanna do and I should NOT be scared of anything. It's a matter of
accepting and envisioning the realistic outcome of it. Again, in most
cases, I pretty much verify to myself that this is a "life experience" and
pondering the past instead of accepting it for what it is, won't get you
anywhere. In other words -- LIVE LIFE! Things that hurt, things that are
suppose to be sad, things that make you mad....it'll happen...welcome it
but realize why you feel the way you do. accept it and take it for what
its worth (also questioning if it's worth it or not). But no matter what,
we can only move forward in order to gain more experience and gawd help me
when I say that I don't regret anything that I've ever done.

well....that was a written pep talk if i've ever seen one...i hope it
worked for you in some way as well. I know people are out there, reading
up on me. seeing what that jonald jude j. boy is up to. i don't mind
it...but whoever is out there, i hope you're doing well and things are mr.
brightside. if they aren't ....take life by the horns and make it so.
that's all you can do or else sulk in depression that doesn't make you move
forward...making you stuck. in the words of Cher in Moostruck -- "SNAP OUT
OF IT!"

that's that.

across the universe

i just had a raisin bran muffin from corner bakery. first off, i love
corner bakery. i think it rocks as far as breakfast is concerned.
(however, it never compares to clark's breakfast 3 o'clock in the morning,
drunk off your ass and trying to keep your head up so that the room stops
spinning). the bran muffin was rough to get through. it's not that it was
bad -- it was pretty good, but i'm just not a fan. "Why'd you get it then,
you idiot?!" WELL, i've been eating Hooters for the past 3 nights and that
DEFINITELY is NOT healthy. the dude that filmed SuperSize me, should do
"Let me Eat your Hooters." He would die by the end of the month....for
sure. i'm a pretty healthy eater....i mean, yes, i eat crap....but
throughout the week, i eat pretty well during breakfast and lunch. i run
throughout the week too. this week though, i wasn't able to run too much
and my friends/cousins went out for a birthday at Hooters. We had a lot
leftover and free food is free food -- take it home! we have a lot of
wings at home, which i enjoy, BUT to eat it 3 nights in a row and to not
run. i seriously felt my arteries clogging up last night. i woke up
feeling bla and lazy. that's not good. i've been sleeping late at night
as it is....so, i can't do this. THEREFORE, bran muffin this morning to
try to cleanse things out. AND last night i went to sleep at 9:30 pm!!
can you believe it?? AWESOME! i feel pretty fresh today. BUT (a lot of
these around my posts), i woke up at 3:30 a.m. and was restless for about
an hour before i could really fall asleep again. that's about 6 hours --
my usual amount of sleeping time lately. so that makes sense.

Sleep --> during my 2nd half of sleep from about 5'ish to 6:30'ish i had
some random ass dream but i woke up from it real quick and caught myself
laughing. have you ever done that? caught your body doing something that
you didn't initialize. it was frickin wierd. i woke up laughing and then
i stopped and told myself in my head that i'm a frickin lunatic! (i
already know this though....so it's not self depricating. i like being
insane actually. where do you think creativity derives from?) BUT it was
so wierd to catch myself doing something that i wasn't really in control
of.

it's only friday morning, but i already feel like all i want to do this
weekend is work on my documentary. watch-- after work, i'll want to go out
and drink myself to sleep. Ggggeeeeeeeez -- can we be a little productive
this weekend?! PLEASE!

Don't Let Me Down!

JARHEAD - this was a really good movie. Better than Road to Perdition (Sam
Mendes' last film). Went along the same lines as American Beauty but
obviously different storyline. It took a closer look at what the troops
went through during Desert Storm and Shield. Now that I think about it,
the time span within the movie, actually felt like the timespan of the war
itself. I remember I was in 7th grade when this happened. Oh man....did I
just say that I remembered a war?? How old am I?? ANYHOO, this movie has
Jake Gyllenhal (from Donnie Darko, The Good Girl, and Proof -- all movies
that you should see), Jamie Foxx (Ray -- which I thought was
eh...okay.....NOT Academy Award winning -- sorry, no offense Mr.
Foxx...just didn't think it was your year), and Peter Sarsgaard (from
Kinsey and Garden State - 2 other ones that you should catch....not as
important though, but pretty good rents). There was a small stint by
Cooper (from American Beauty and Adaptation) but nothing to get crazy
about. This was based on a novel and used a lot of voice-overs to tell the
inner thoughts of the main character. That was used well because as a
screenwriter, you're taught to never use voice-overs unless it moves the
story forward -- in this case, it gave the viewer a way to get more indepth
with the main character. That makes good movies -- if you can grow an
attachment to the characters. Sam Mendes uses his classic styles of
silhouettes, vibrant colors through the use of light, and uses of slow
motion. One of my favorite moments in the movie is when they get bombed
for the first time since the announcement of entering Desert Storm and
Gyllenhal stands up, taking in the fact that they have just entered war.
Mind you, this is the first feel of enemy attack after waiting weeks of
doing nothing in the desert, growing anxiety and impatience, and being
completely bored with the constant training which felt utterly useless.
That scene goes into slow motion and Mendes does this close up on Jake
getting hit in the face with the grains of sand, using a voice-over to say
what is going on in his head, then fading out the sound of people yelling
at him, as he raises the sound of the sand hitting his face. Wow -- such a
good scene. Almost as good as Deniro's slow motion scene in Goodfellas
when he was about to kill Mory. And y'all thought some ghetto boy didn't
know cinema!! WH -WHAT?!?! Go see this movie - it won't change cinema but
that won't happen till I've completed my screenplay.

I also watched a good documentary this weekend, entitled - "My Architect."
It's about Lou Kahn - an architect that designed great buildings using
methods that were unique and against the grain of architectural "rules."
He designed the capital of Bengledesh, which many citizens consider him to
be famous for doing. You can truly see how much of a masterpiece it is
within the film -- but I'm sure it's only an 1/8th of the true beauty it
contains if you were to see it in person. Sort of how I grew up, always
seeing pictures of the Statue of Liberty in school and television - but
then seeing how huge and remarkable it is when you see it in person.
Unreal. However, Kahn's son - Nathaniel - is the writer/director of this
film and makes it even more insightful. He goes through his lifestyle -
interviewing people that were part of his life, both personally and
business oriented. Kahn was a workaholic, but also a nomad who traveled
all over the place. He went through 3 relationships with women, having
children with each. The only thing that I can tell you about this film
that would want to make you watch it is -- it's artistically inclined,
using a lot of great shots and good footage of the beauty of inanimant
objects. At first I thought, why would I want to watch a movie about an
architect...but when I watched it, it was just a really good film that was
greatly edited, directed, and written. One of the better documentaries
that I've seen of late.

and now.....i go .....

getting so much better all the time!

for some reason, i feel good about myself today! you ever feel like that?
haven't felt like this in awhile and it's only 10 a.m. , so i just hope it
lasts the whole day.

randumbly:

--you know when you're walking around the office and you go around corners
or out doors, obviously you have a chance of bumping into
someone...correct? does etiquette tell you that you must say, "excuse me?"
not necessarily, but it would be more polite in this harsh world we live
in. i mean...it's takes 2 seconds to say it out of your mouth and f*ck
principle...you're just being polite about possibly bumping into someone
when most people don't want to be bumped into. My thing is -- i say
"ooop...'scuse me. sorry...." and give a nice smirk, HOWEVER what i
receive in return is a blank stare like "of course it's your fault,
dumbass!" Where's the love man?? just return it back -- "oh no...excuse
me." and in my la la land of great people, it would actually be, "OH No,
no, no, no, no....Excuse me for i am in the presence of greatness. I
apologize for even possibly touching you in anyway and for my pennance, i
give you my extremely hot daughter as your sex slave." Uh....okay...so,
the people in my head talk like their from medieval times....and yes, they
trade extremely hot daughters as sex slaves.....WHATEVER!

--i like sitting up straight. and i like busting out as many cruches as i
can at the gym. however, sitting up straight after a couple of days of
crunches...not so good feeling. pretty soar and makes me want to sloutch.
and in turn, makes me look like i'm low on confidence...when in fact i'm
high in confidence. and that's what everyone needs a little bit more of,
eh?

--EPIPHANY moment. sometimes i hate these, but most times i like them. i
just had an idea at the copy machine a minute ago. (that's right...i did
some multi-tasking biotch!) i don't really have that many friends from
work...and it's not cause i'm not outgoing or shy...but it's because i
choose to not intertwine work with personal issues. however, i don't
really have anyone to b*tch too concerning my department or job. not that
i have many complaints...but it would be good to talk about it. there are
a good amount of young people at my job...but all doing different jobs, so
not too much intermingling unless you work in the same group. i don't work
with any young heads, except for one dude who's pretty chill. SO...is this
a dumb idea but why don't we have like a young person's club or something?
maybe not a club, but maybe like a get together at a bar after work on a
friday. it would be a good way to start off the weekend and to release
some work week steam. you could meet younger cats at your job as well as
hear what they think about things instead of having to be p.c. because they
wouldn't wanna get in trouble for speaking out of place. (....okay,
okay....so this is just another way to meet chicks. HEY! it's still a
good idea though....you gotta admit. a more comfortable place to work
makes productivity better.)

....and then he turned into a handsome prince. The End.

This Boy wants you back again....

Don't tell me you're not psyched to watch JARHEAD this weekend! Come
on...Sam Mendes hasn't been in the mix of the game since Road to Perdition
(Tom Hanks and Paul Newman). Perdition was a weak follow up to American
Beauty but then again, it wasn't Alan Ball. The Mendes style was still in
there though. I'm totally game to watch JARHEAD THIS FRIDAY!! i'll go by
myself if i have to. I'm also starting to dig Chris Cooper. haven't
really paid too much attention to him, but lately, he's been keepin up his
game. another person i'm starting to enjoy watching on the big screen -
laura linney. like i said last time i posted up her name -- ever since
tales of a city on pbs....she's been rockin it! AND another good actor and
another good reason to watch Jarhead -- jake gyllenhal. so cool man. this
is gonna skyrocket his stock being with jami foxx, chris cooper, and sam
mendes (3 academy award winners).

randumbly: these are things that i love during this time of year:

-- i can use my figidy hands to take out chap stick.

-- i can wear long johns and a couple of layers of shirts without needing a
jacket.

--fall leaves all over the ground to push around with your feet
(...uh...provided it didn't rain. cause that sucks.)

--hoodies are back. i can look like a thug but in reality, i'm just
staying warm.

--scullies make my bald head happy. i wear it in the house too cause it's
literally like my thinking cap.

moving right along -- there are more and more people in the gym now. they
can't play outside anymore, but now it's crowded at the gym during my
visiting hours. not a bad thing cause there are more hot chicks, but more
old naked guys in the locker room. and do you have to lift your leg up on
the bench when i'm sitting there?!?! AHEM....DUDE! EXCUSE ME, OLD BALLS!

i saw this documentary (ugh...again?!) two nights ago named "Girlhood."
it's follows the lives of these 2 girls who have been placed in juvenile
detention jail. one girl stabbed another girl to get in there (Shanae).
another girl was into drugs, running away, and all that bad'ish stuff
(Maggie or Margie....uh...i'm sure they don't call her by her real name in
the hood anyways -- probably something like Mommy or Girl or Momma
Sita....you know...all those names of affection). ANYWAYS, it was okay.
nothing fancy in terms of telling a crazy story or exposing somthing
absurdly crazy, which makes me think if my project is very thought
provoking. it's sorta blan and plain....so i have to start brainstorming
on ideas to make it more CRAZY and something that peope haven't seen.
don't worry...i'll think of something.

i'm tired....

paperback writer...PAPERBACK WRITER!

If you've been staying tuned, yesterday my cousin announced that he and his
girlfriend got engaged. now i've gone through people's engagements,
weddings, and the infamous bachleor parties....but not since my cousin's
wedding (Shine) in like '01 or '02, have i felt close to the person who's
in the big dance. SO, this should be awesome and i have no doubt that i'll
have some role to play in this production. even if it's just
program-hander- outer, i know they'll make me do something. but then
again, in my family "jay jay boy" does a lot of things. i personally don't
mind it though. i like helping out where i can and making things flow
easier. (congrats rock and lucille -- wedding day is payback for not
getting drunk at our birthday party.....booowhhahahahhahaa!!

my TMJ problems are making my neck very stiff and parts of my back soar.
annoying! but it's been like this for awhile now, so i'm getting use to
it. that's actually not a good thing to be comfortable with pain. then
pain wouldn't be pain and you wouldn't get that pain checked out by the
pain doctor to put the pain away. painfully true!

i was a lazy bumb yesterday even though i did laundry and watched another
documentary. like i've said at one time or another, watching movies is
still like homework to me. enjoyable, but still work in my mind. might
sound ridiculous, but this is how my mind works. i ask like a jillion
questions in my head as the film keeps on going. i watch corners of the
screen to catch obscure things and i look at shot angles to get a vivid
image in my head of where the cameraman is and how the set/scene is in
front of the camera. i listen to sound carefully, and i try to catch every
transition between scenes to see if the editor/director used a wipe, fade,
dissolve, or cut. i love films though. yes, i have said that films are
wierd but i won't admit to being too wierd for anyone to enjoy. i believe
everyone has different tastes and when something comes off as "wierd" in
movies -- sometimes its just a matter of not understanding what the auteur
is trying to say. SO, i hope my documentary can appeal to everyone and
their mother (and father, brothers, sister, aunt, etc...). i just want to
make a good film that people can comment on. that's all.....

that's all....