Chicago is a Fatty Mecca - No Way!

[DISCLAIMER:  The pseudo articles written on this blog-ulation are inherently made-up and suited to feed into the comedic dome of your noggin.  Either you think it's funny or it's not but whichever way your cookie crumbles, just remember most of my facts are made-up.  Werd.]

Fatty McFatty's Foody List of Fatty Cities has confirmed that Chicago, IL is the mecca of obesity in America.  After more studies from scientists with expensive degrees have verified, Chicago habitually takes already concocted foods and adds more calories, fat, and bad things to it.  Example 1 is the drunken food favorite - pizza.  Whereas the thinly crusted east coast delicacy was formulated and made into an easy, walk-as-you-eat dynamo, the Windy City took it one notch up and made it chunky.  Now, Chicago-style pizza is about 10 layers of a thin crust pizza with more bread, cheese, and inside goodness.  Instead of downing 2 to 3 slices of thin crust, a person just needs one slice of deep dish pizza to fall into comatose status.  Example 2 is the ball park signature must have - the hot dog.  When at one time, a man named Mr. Nathan created the solid style of the basic wiener and bun and even created a contest to see how many people can down it in 12 minutes, Chicago (again) takes it a notch up and inserts a sandwich spread on top of it.  The big no no for Chicago-style hot dogs is the addition of ketchup.  In a sarcastic tone of false fact, a Chicagoan stated, "No ketchup helps keep off that 2 to 3 calories that we just don't need."  What he/she failed to acknowledge was that most ketchups have at least 20 calories to it.  However, we will note that the Chicago-style hot dog does involve the most vegetable collection compared to most other bar foods.  Imagine that....more than onion rings.  

Please stay tuned for our next opinionated article when we focus on Fatty McFatty's Foody List of What Else Can We Deep Fry??