are you serious about...

.....company audits? my day job work company is going through an audit and
now that i'm working hand and hand with the big wigs, I have to be more
presentable and ready for questioning. they will be doing random checks
here and there. "ahem...AHEM! excuse me...Mr. Reyes?"
"huh...wha....oh..OH, yes?" as I quickly pick my head up from nap time
between the piled up file folders on my desk and wipe the crust of dried
drool on my cheek. "we're doing a routine check and well...you're gonna
have to come with me...." wearing his nicely pressed suit, he leads me
down the hall. i look at people staring back at me like i did something
wrong. i think to myself -- 'you're not suppose to sleep at work?
wierd...they let you do it in kindergarten...damn the school system!' then
he brings me into the men's room where there's another man in a finely
pressed suit awaiting. "Mr. Reyes, you've been picked to take a cavity
test. Please take off your pants as we're going to have to search your
colon." NOOOOO!!! "I'm a giver not a taker man!! i already pooped out my
bags of crack for ray ray! you gotta believe me dude!" ....are you
serious? (no...but audits suck.)