there are places i remember, all my life, though some have changed....

i'm such a dumbass.

SOOOOoooo.....for lunch today....all i wanted to do was go to my favorite
sub shop, eat, and read. that's all. nothing else...no stress whatsoever.
i walk over and of course - sub shop is packed and there are no tables to
sit. i decided not to walk in and still being a little under the weather,
chose to go to au bon pain for their kick ass soup. AND there are always
cute chicks in there. ANYHOO, i walk over there and i get the "hmmm...this
kid is cute" looks from chicks here and there...but don't even ponder cause
all i want to do is grab my soup, sit, and read my book. i purchase my
goods and walk into the eating area. i see an empty corner table in a not
packed place. hidden behind a wall....i walk pass a cute asian chick who
is sitting next to the empty corner table. we make eye contact here and
there. not bad. BUT i decide to sit, eat, and read. thus, i do so.

HOWEVER, as time proceeds, my testosterone chooses to pump up a level and
makes my mind begin to ponder of things to say to her. i hate pick up
lines. i hate trying to pick up chicks like cold calls....cause i push for
humor that should come naturally but in those situations, surprisingly
don't. i'm more of a friend of a friend meeter. i try to do the cold
meets, but haven't been great thus far. time passes and i need to get back
to work. i choose not to do anything. i get up and walk away, imagining
punches to my face for being a chicken.

i walk into my building, not 1 minute away from au bon pain. some kid is
asking people for donations for his basketball team. he's a good kid --
very proper, good manners, and is workin by himself. after passing him, a
lightbulb lights up. THIS IS WHERE I"M AN IDIOT! i go up to him, "yo
kid....wanna make extra dollars for your basketball team?" of course he
says yes. so i tell him that i'll give him a big donation if he goes into
au bon pain and gives a cute asian chick a note for me. WHY DIDN"T I JUST
TALK TO HER INSTEAD?!?! he agrees to it and i write this quick 3 sentence
note, saying -" hi, i just sat next to you like 5 minutes ago. i couldn't
help but give you this note and if you're interested in getting coffee -
[insert my email address]. "

I CAN"T BELIEVE I ACTUALLY WROTE THIS! i'm an idiot! i should've talked
to her but i'm too frickin chicken. i don't know why i am. we kept lookin
at each other and i'm actually a pretty decent orator. i mean...i know how
to talk to people, but for some reason....i couldn't jump start this
conversation at all! (yet i can go up to random people in the street and
ask them about asian americans in mainstream american culture for a
documentary.......IDIOT!) i'm dumb....but i really hope she emails me so i
can wooooo her with my writing skills.

it was cowardly though and i don't expect it. i just feel wierd about
walking into au bon pain now. time to start making lunches again....

2 more days till a new year??