in today's high tech era of immediate results and computerized watchers of
society, i truly believe that Santa Clause could be real now. At first,
sure....a legend....a myth....someone you're not sure if he's really around
or not....then you catch your dad eating the cookies you leave out for the
jolly red man and then it's all downhill from there. HOWEVER, in today's
fast paced, ever changing face of technology - Santa (if he's up to date)
can watch every person from the police survey camera's setup outside by
traffic lights and street lamps. He can go on myspace or IM to see if a
person is at home or work. he can check match.com to see if a person is
just looking for a "friend" or an "activities partner" (which really means
a sex machine) and figure out if that person has been naughty or nice. he
can spam a bunch of people and figure out who pays attention to his cry and
who doesn't (to which the good people of yahoo or hotmail would just pop
his email into the junk or bulk mail). BUT TWO CAN PLAY AT THIS GAME -
whereas we can have high tech ninjas in white suits camaflouging with snow
around a hidden cove literally by a candy caned pole that has a sign saying
"North Pole." There we can set up our own festival of lights --
surveillence lights if you will.
(p.s. i apologize for not being a spelling expert. one of my bad habits
as a writer is to know all these words but to not really know how to spell
them or at times, not even use them correctly. through tone and quick
expression, werds really do have the ability to make you sound smart when
you know where to place them.)
Randumbly - you ever see the movie Scrooged with Bill Murray? Great
frickin Christmas movie (next to Christmas Story and Its a Wonderful Life).
Anyhoo...there's a scene when they're running christmas promos for the boss
and there's this commercial for Lee Majors to invade the north pole and
have a shoot out with Santa. WELL -- this is where i was going. imagine
if it really were a big fight with the man in red. i'm tellin ya....Santa
can f*ck some shiet up like rudolph's nose glowin in the red light
district. Beaming people....BEAMING!
Which reminds me that i have to wrap presents tonight. a very long and
sometimes painful process cause you have to make things look so damn pretty
when you know it'll just be overlooked after the present itself is seen.
"OH MY!! THIS WRAPPING IS FANDANGULOUS [...yup, i made that word up for
the good people of Fandango.com...]!! HOWEVER, I MUST FORGET ABOUT IT AS
I"M ABOUT TO CHOMP THROUGH IT AND FIND OUT IF I WANT TO RETURN THIS GARBAGE
YOU CALL A GIFT!!" geeeeeez...just say it people! you know this is how
you think! it's the thought that counts my ass! you know what is
thoughtful??? when you actually get a present that means something to you.
when you get something where you know the person is actually listening to
what you say or what you do. knowing what you're needs are as a person and
what you enjoy and like in life. THAT RIGHT THERE...that is thoughtful.
if you don't know what to get me and get me something that is far from what
would be used in the right way (per se clothes that don't look good), then
me personally....would rather receive money or gift certificates (or lap
dances or mounds of gold coins for me to swim in or multiple socks that i
can wear on multiple days with multiple shoes that you've also provided,
etc., etc.).
this is my piece and i just wrote it.
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