good golly miss molly

You know I couldn't stay away for a whole year!! I apologize to the
blogger-stalker nation for not dropping current knowledge of my mind leaks.
It's been a busy bee couple of months and freedom felt like a non-existant
oasis. However - I've finally got a handle of the different foods on my
plate to be able to now share some thoughts that have been tickling my mind
of recent. I hope you enjoy reading forward and as an incentive bonus,
I'll also be sharing a bit of knowledge regarding an on-line film
competition that my documentary is part of. WOOOO HOOOO!!!

random go:

-would it be wierd if "a guy" said to another "guy" in the bathroom, while
releasing toxins at the urinals - "wow man - i smell some good poopin. you
smell that?" I think we would relinquish any form of taboo or awkward
feeling if we finally admitted that our bodies release smelly gases and
human body waste. I mean - let's grow up for a second! - I try to stay
away from the blue humor, but isn't it natural that we do these things??
So why can't we talk about it? Same thing about sex, but that's for
another blog post.

-i've been reading up on this thing called "metaverse." The term is
basically the upcoming digitized universe where interaction takes place
online through created avatars and digitzed versions of people. Can we
make it anymore easier for our children to not interact with real life?!?!
And we complain about how we've become a heavier nation! It's because of
things like this that kids don't know how to talk in front of people, get
shy, sit in front of computer screens all day, ruin their eyes, and get
their wrist bones all sorts of hurtin. Don't get me wrong - I do see the
upside to ideas like this and do applaud how technology just advanced again
5 seconds ago and just did it again right now (and again, right now). But
I think we need to control how things like this get exposed and/or make it
less easy for younger generations to advance at a quicker pace. I've
always felt that the better workers in society are the ones that have
actually gotten their hands dirty and gone through the nity grity
experience that was needed to get conquered for advancement.

Now that i've gotten your fists pumping with social power and bringing back
the old school, i'm going to hurt your heart by saying that this metaverse
is pretty strong. it may be coming sooner than people think and i do
advice on preparation. therefore - start by drawing a picture of yourself
and only communicate to other people by using it like a puppet. it will be
one step closer to how it may be in 10 more years.

-i'm sore from moving yesterday. that's all - i'm just hurt.

be well, my kiddies! and tell your friends that they're the coolest and
tell your family (well - the ones you like) that they rock cause something
people just need to hear that stuff.

i sing the song of random

ya know - I have not written positive affirmation on this thing as of the
new year. so today's blog posting will be dedicated to quick and quirky
random jive from sir blab-o-lot! enjoy it (in your face!)!

--what's the deal with swiss bank accounts? i think even when i was a kid,
it was a joke on prime time television sitcoms to have a 'swiss bank
account.' is it because since they're neutral on war, that they're money
growth per capita is greater than the now powerful euro? is chocolate
really THAT valuable that if you invest in their bank you not only get
great interest rate, but bonus box of chocolates (even WITH the map of
what's inside the chocolates!)?

-speaking of swiss and chocolate (or even less cliche - speaking of
underware and cigarettes), swiss miss, quick, bosco, ovaltine, or any other
form of chocolate mix drink - what's better - adding water or milk?? i
think it goes by which one you're making - hot chocolate or chocolate milk.
because in retrospect, if you're making chocolate milk with water, then
it's not really chocolate milk, it's chocolate water. and if that's the
case, might as well add DIRT cause that's what it'll taste like!

-speaking of fondue and mrs. field's cookies - i've been addicted to
'instant watching' on my netflix account. god - does anyone else have
this!?!? this is so cool. so the deal here is if you have a netflix
account, not only do you get your dvd's in the mail with no late fees, but
you also can watch films that netflix has uploaded in their superior
databank to watch instantly over the web. if you have great resolution and
a nifty speed on the internet highway, it's game on! (and this is my plug
for netflix - AGAIN! i'm still waiting for compensation!)

-speaking of robots of the future and neo soul music - i want to learn to
speak german. doesn't everyone?! i'm going to learn. that's all.

-speaking of spank me whips and sugar free hot mocha frappacino - tell me
you'll continue this game later on, eh?1

enjoy your day!

to you, and you, and you

This is a letter of remorse, honesty, and the will to endure what needs to
be done in order to move forward with personal goals.

To whom it may concern-

I can no longer give into feeling unnecessary guilt for not being a better
person to you. My apologies are due for not giving you the such essential
time you need in order to be fulfilled with my presence. However, I want
to gesture reasoning on the behalf of people that get our of comfort zones.
The motives you carry are needs to use social events such as restaurants,
bars, clubs, or overwhelming get togethers as a cover up for not
challenging your intellect.

WAIT - I have no means of insult nor am I trying to degrade you to a class
that seems lower to me. I'm nothing special and my upbringing is far from
elite situations which hopefully keep me down to earth and easy to
understand. Sometimes trying to convey thought and certain ideas needs to
be interwoven with truth. We all know the truth (the REAL truth) hurts.
I've felt it and I hope you swallow this with a spoonful of sugar.

Continuing on - my personal goal is to get into a world that is far from my
own knowledge of books, the internet, and bonus coverage on dvd's. I can
only get so near to know that there's no business like showbusiness but
where I am right now still takes time and work. Time which takes me out of
where I was before. Dwelved into a lifestyle of working an 8 to 5 job,
waiting for the weekend, then partying it up to only realize these things:
1. complaints and wishes on making movies 2. eating unhealthy and
staying lazy to complain again on not getting chicks and 3. not wanting to
go back to a job that I despise but am stuck because I don't want to have
to look for a new job. It's easy to stay this way because it doesn't take
work, but the thing that became irritable and completely, utterly annoying
was the word 'complain.'

You cannot complain if you're not trying! If you're not trying, then
you're bringing this upon yourself. Whatever you're complaining about - if
the cause came from something you didn't try to improve on, then how are
you entitled to complain? But our society is built on complaints. If you
think about, laws are made, things are created, objects are invented by the
terms of becoming better and in order to know what's better, you need to
know what's wrong. Complaints equal 'what's wrong?'

To not get too far from the root of this letter, improvement takes time.
Time is so limited in our lives when you take the means to improve on so
many different aspects of your life. Let's go back to the list and see how
my time expired. 1. complaints and wishes on making movies turned into
time to tape interviews, watch footage, and edit, edit, edit, and on yeah -
edit. If something doesn't look right, back to the editing board. If a
story isn't understood, especially in a documentary, back to the editing
board. If you're trying to make a movie better, back to the editing board.
Understood. 2. eating healthy and being lazy to complain about ladies
turned into exercising, eating right, and taking the time to work-out.
This turned into getting dates and getting into a relationship. A
relationship where I want (the key word is 'want') to be the best boyfriend
I can be. Working out and relationship upkeep equals more time. and 3.
not wanting to go back to work that I dislike has turned into me speaking
up at work and getting into a position that I do like. However, it's a
higher up position which entails more responsibility, more time commitment,
and thankfully, more money.

Now in retrospect, it looks like things are good - right? These are good
things that I've turned around for myself. Awesome! All the time and
energy that I've put into doing what I wanted to make better and get rid of
the word 'complaint.' But what's this - oh, oh.....where did everyone go?
All the people that I went to the bars with, ate at restaurants with, and
drank beers with - they seemed to have disappeared. And what's this even
more? I'm totally out of the loop that it feels like friends are enemies
because I didn't have time for them. When they needed to complain to
someone about something that they didn't act on, I wasn't there to tell
them what they wouldn't be doing because it sounded good to them. And now
you're reading an apology letter because I wasn't being a better person.

Can you tell me if I really did something wrong? When I send you emails on
trying to get together for events that I CAN make, do you ignore it and say
under your breath that I'm not worth it? Do you feel that in order to be
MY friend, you have to work on MY time and the effort isn't mutual? Well -
then I guess I am guilty.

So to whom it may concern - I apologize. I'm no better after writing this
letter to a blog that people never read, but to know that I complained.....
well, you know how that story goes.

And to the people that do read - thank you for listening. I want no
sympathy. Just carry on as you normally do. This is all I ask.

Sincerely,
Creative Mind Spill

wow - i haven't written in here since forever and a day. "so, what's new?" he says. well - the grass ain't green and the leaves are falling, so winter is coming. Chicago is cold and when i say cold, I mean testicles arise! it's true and guys shouldn't be ashamed to share this fact.

i had a private screening of my documentary film last week and i'm still sorta clouded in the head about it. it was good and bad at once. good - in the sense that i got to see a flick i made on the big screen. bad - in the sense that 1. weather was quite crap-alicious so people bailed from their RSVP 2. i could hear in mind what people were thinking when i was watching it (didn't feel right) and 3. i wished i had refined my art project a little bit more.

so - yes, i'm back to the drawing board, but not on clean canvass, rather placement of what was already laid out. just gotta make what i got better. another draft if you will (and if the term is used for beer, i'll have two).

i feel like i can never get used to critique. for me - it always depends on who it's coming from and what the subject matter is. i've always been a writer and ever since being placed in reading level B in 5th grade, i've felt below the standard of excellence. so i've always tried to excel to touch the sky, yet no matter how many times i've had to face peer to peer review, it always depended on who it was coming from and what it was about. i'm not gonna take cooking advice from someone who's never touched a skillet before. and not to say, i'm not gonna take viewer advice from someone who's never made a movie before - but if you're gonna give me feedback, back it up with something concrete within the film. nothing like 'man, this part sucked' or 'i thought this was boring' - without leaving the film aesthetic of why it sucked or why it was boring. i can fix your problem, just gimmie a good reason to.

next - wow - i never thought i'd fall into a situation where i'd find that friends have become more high maintenance as i've gotten older. i'm probably becoming guilty of this myself by concentrating on my film and not being able to hang out as much as i use to. but geez - i go make a film and ask people to come out, then i don't get any love back. ouch...i'm sorry. i didn't know i had to call or email you every week to make sure you were okay. i figure once every two weeks is sorta standard and even upscale as far as 'guy' standards are concerned. and if this doesn't fly, then let it be....i can't take back thoughts that have accumulated by one's self.

i'm tired - i've said this during periods in my life when i've become mentally exhausted. now if people know me well enough, i usually do try my best to flip that frown upside down and show some ass crack for the sake of giggle giggle, tickle, tickle. but with this film taking hold of me, high maintenance friends exhiling me from their lives, and darker days before my eyes....well, i'm tired. maybe out of minute depression, lack of exercise, or maybe not accepting the turn of tides.

changes are happening, my friends. i'm becoming too old to accept, yet i'm the one adding to the phenomenon. people have passed me by and i can't do anything about it.

sidenote - google 'kevin smith's blog.' yeah - the dude who did clerks. his shiet is high-larious! later.

When I grow up....

I'm in no position to give advice to college kids. I'm not the one that
was determined to come out with a particular degree when I entered my
collegiate career. Instead, I floated into a unforeseen world that opened
up opportunities that I didn't know existed. Yes - I am guilty of falling
into the "asian" path of starting out as a Biology major, but as time
passed and the liberal sense of looking into different areas of education
opened in front of me, I had to see what I loved. I wanted to find myself
in these different books and different classes and different professors.
The search for a voice that was similar to mine was found in film classes.
There was a deeper love found in writers and how they conveyed their
stories. Writing had always been there as my escape from whatever
commotion life brought me and it never talked back. It never told me how I
f*cked up on something. Instead - it was a tool of self realization. It
was my doppelganger telling me the evils of what I was doing. It was my
mother or father holding my hand and telling me everything was alright. It
was my work telling me how stressed out I was and how much crap I take from
my bosses. So when I went to college, I found out that all that writing,
all those journal entries, all those voices in my beat up notebook next to
my bed - they were all in a classroom. Someone else out there felt the
same way as me a long time ago. Someone with stronger words felt the same
way I did. And now I can learn about them. It was amazing. And even
better - since I was a movie junkie - there was a connection. There was a
meaning behind what I loved. It wasn't a daydream anymore. This love
could become a reality of mine and this is what I found in college. So for
all you math, science majors that can only comprehend what is right or
wrong through theory or law - please don't forget to look beyond the
calculations. There's more meaning behind what I'm writing. There's more
meaning behind those numbers you enter into your Texas Instrument. Our
worlds are the same - it's a matter of finding it. But here I am with my
degree and waiting for my calling. And like I said - I'm in no position to
give advice to college kids....

the decks

you know what seems to be a big project for guys in the 'burbs? working on
their deck. i don't know if its a city requirements to have decks or maybe
a crazy house fashion fad during the 90's, but whenever I hear the elder
gents talk about their plans for the weekend, they always seem to say, "I
gotta work on my deck." What 'work' means in this context can measure
anywhere from re-staining it to decorating it with those lovely fake
plants. And as I'm not a deck owner myself, I tend to wonder why it must
be done so often during the summer season and why it's such an on going
task? How big can your deck be? ("that's what she said...." - bidum
ching) But really - I'm pointing this out to be a suburban man's default
answer to "what's going on this weekend?"

For a city man like myself, I like to say things like, "Well, I'm going to
the strip club again to eat that free pizza because you can't find cheese
like that anywhere else" or "I'm going to the bar with some friends and
stand around watching sports with the music too loud for me to hold any
sort of conversation" or my personal favorite "buying crack and getting my
money from my tricks." JOKES, people - JOKES!

On another note, a new upcoming season of Rutgers football is around the
corner. Keep your eyes on the sports tube, cause I have a feeling you'll
be watching them in a BCS bowl game. Why does this matter to you? Because
more viewer support/fan base means more alumni donations which means more
funding for school which in turns teaches those college rascals better and
thus creates better workers in the world we live in. SO - support Rutgers
man....it's the truth. And if you're thinking, well, what about the other
schools?? NO - RUTGERS I SAID....dang, don't you listen?!

to that dude

this post is a dedication to all my homeboys that still bring a sense of
chivlry into this world. this is for that guy that gives up a seat on the
train when he sees an old lady come on board and there are no seats
available. this is for the nice guys that digest things for what they are
instead of expect things to meet their standard of need. this is for the
man that is "man" enough to know that he has feeling and says 'i love you'
to his lady - but not for the sap that uses it out of lust or uses it to
cover up his tracks for wrong doing. this is for the homeboy that sits up
straight, does his work, and knows to talk when talked to - instead of
always 'trying' in order to look good. this is for the dude that knows not
to give a flying f*ck about what other people think and does what he wants
to because he wants to - which in turn, makes him knowledgable to look out
for his peeps. in other words - he knows what he wants to do and still has
the social etiquette & accommodating manner to not be selfish. AND this is
for the guy who's just trying to do his own thing without needing to worry
about 'feeling bad.'

let's keep it real y'all! stop playing each other for fools and chill the
f*ck out. look up a funny joke and tell it to someone you don't know.

end.

busy bee

i moved up on the eating chain @ work which makes me completely tooooooo
busy to write on here. i apologize to any that read my blog looking for
insight on how i think the world evolves, but really doesn't......

i recommend viewing old posts as i was probably more creative then...

Fake talk

How do people do it??? There are people at work that are in the position
of dealing with clients and other upper level officers that just know how
to put on that commercial smile and say the "right" words. But how? How
can you come into work (unless you enjoy/love your job, then icksnay this
complaint) and always seem to be peppy?

See - I don't characterize myself as the 'average joe' because I'm a little
insane in the head. I'm not mental, rather an "outside of the box" thinker
that says quirky shiet on a speed scale of 3.2 seconds during responses.
However, I will say that upon my observation of the human mind, I have
accumulated the mood and situation at hand to accommodate to the masses.
Thereby I've been able to massage my werds into an appropriate manner where
it can still be funny, yet suitable for who's in the room. HOWEVER - I
can't do the peppy, work jive. I've been trying to work on it with the
cliche work conversations. These topics include: weather, sports (mainly
local teams and works better for older males), current events/news, and any
funny anecdotes that can be incorporated into the work. BLA BLA BLA!!
Yuck - not a fan of the cliche work conversations as it doesn't make the
world turn nor does it make movements into my psyche. Yet it does improve
relations in the work force and it does show that I'm not always sleeping
on the job (....haha - fooled them again!).

Back to the main question at hand - how do people plaster on that smile
everytime someone comes to greet them at work? Like EVERY TIME! Even when
they're getting work! Now unless someone who usually gives me work flips
the script and says, "Hey - no filing today, but here's a jillion dollars I
feel like giving you" than I'll just keep to my usual - "Hey, how's it
going?" Otherwise, I'm working on this aspect of my job.....

Holy geez - you would've thought I had this down by now. I graduated from
college over 6 years ago now.....

4th of July

AH - it's picnic time again and time to rejoice in this Hacksaw Jim Duggan
patriotic event. Let's see - the 4th of July is our time to celebrate the
Independence of our country. But really - are we that independent?? Have
we really escaped the shackles of a legal system that places taxation on
our well being??

Back then, we signed the Declaration of Independence to stand tall against
the power that is Great Britain. They were all over us - putting taxes on
everything we do and everything we buy. Now - how about our gas or how
about our public transportation or how about our electricity? It isn't
called tax within these terms & conditions that are in fine print at the
bottom of websites or bills when we sign up for it. Rather, it's part of
the whole kit & caboodle as service or fees or surcharge.
Am I just an angry American looking for the next free thing or trying to
get the big discount instead of paying my just fair dues accordingly?? I
don't think so! I'm just a person that doesn't want to pay $40 dollars for
a full tank of gas for a small Maxima.

And don't get me started on a war that's taken up billions and billions of
dollars. Errrr!

It's sad that our world runs on money, yet its so necessary to survive. SO
- come your Independence Day celebration - less not forget what we're
really free of - the Backstreet Boys.

The end.

jokes, and jokes, and jokes

OKAY - so i get the whole "i'm just talking to myself" at work thing. BUT
"COME ON" (the infamous werds of this blog) don't overuse it to sound like
you're this super busy person! it also sounds irritable - like you're
speaking under your breath about something instead of complaining outloud
like a person with confidence. i like the people that tell jokes to
themselves instead and laugh or smirk out of nowhere. that's more fun.
rather hear more of that in the stuffy cublicles than people speaking under
their breaths....

next observation: alright, so I'm a guy and we do have "guy talk" in which
we let loose with our werds and say excessive language that is not
acceptable to the female party. BUT i have been in the mix of different
ladies that there are some that use language equally if not worse than us
lads do. its pretty simple to talk with a filthy mouth saying if a "chick"
is hot and what you would do to her. (eww...i know, i know....) however -
what the heck is "girl talk"?? i can't imagine it being the same. girls
talking about guys and what they would do to them. that doesn't sound
right. in my mind, girl talk varies from smack talk about another girl
(because from my own observations, ladies are quite chatty and many of you
have admitted guilt to this) to overloading with the mushy talk of love.
the stuff in the middle are areas that metrosexual boys and super
sensitive, artsy nerds can still relate to.

i think i'm gonna start telling one joke a day to make people smile a
little bit more at work. how's that for affirmation?!?!

what's my grade?

I read this article today and thought it was funny. Thought I'd share as
it shows what lengths kids go to these days to not take a grade over again.
Remarks to follow:

BERLIN (Reuters) - A 16-year-old Berlin student was so worried he would
have to repeat a year at school because of poor marks he convinced two
friends to storm his class and steal the report cards with his bad grades.

"The student probably honestly believed that he could avoid repeating the
school year if he made the report cards disappear," said a spokesman for
local police Monday.

The youth sat quietly at the back of the classroom as the two masked
robbers, aged 14 and 15, burst in and threatened his teacher with a steel
bar if she did not hand over the reports.

After grabbing them, the two tried to flee but dropped the reports as other
students leapt to defend the teacher. The two were arrested close to the
school, and told police their friend had devised the raid because he was
afraid of flunking a year.

Police would not reveal what incentives the youth had offered the pair to
carry out the robbery, adding the youths faced legal consequences once
investigations were over.

REMARKS: can you imagine how this plan was conceived?

flunking kid: "No really - this isn't a joke. So you should come in and
steal the report cards."

friend #1: "have you gone mad? how much did you say you'll pay us for
this??"

friend #2: "and you'll still give us access to watch your extremely hot
sister take showers??"

this has to have happened, but seriously - how dumb can you be to think
that this could work with a "steel bar"??? a steel bar?? in a classroom
with probably 30 students. 30 STUDENTS! you gotta watch your set-ups with
this ploy, my friends.

Is it wasting time or moving forward?

So you complete college, get your entry level position, stick with it for
about 5 years (this includes the annual raises, promotions, and weekly
"monday blues"), gain some recognition within the company, and then
suddenly feel like you don't want to do it anymore. Not that it's a sudden
thing, but more possibly like a "I wasn't 100% sure" thing. This
especially happens when you submit to accepting any job straight outta
college to gain experience, but experience kept you in somewhat of a
comfort zone for too long. Things mask your initial goal to get the dream
job that you want (a.k.a. Huge Hefner's pesonal assistant, steven
spielburg's set aid/screenplay advisor, or Carmen Electra's lotion
latherer, etc., etc.) such as good benefits, a good retirement plan, and a
slew of paid vacation days. HOWEVER - you weren't 100% sure you wanted to
get into the thick of this job because a.) you had other personal goals in
mind 2.) you'd rather make more bank doing what you like in life and z.)
monotony kills. SO when you think you're gaining experience and moving
forward, you might actually be wasting time. Like digging a hole deeper as
you commit to what you really didn't intend on sticking with for so long.
The saying "...to get my feet wet" has turned into "I've drowned and am now
swimming with the fishes."

We all have aspirations and dreams for when we get outta college and it's
sad that I haven't met too many people that can actually say they love what
they do (...I've met a few, but to my own discretion have made me feel like
this is all they do with their lives, which scares me for not having a
different form of outlet ....this is a whole different story/thought all
together). And yes - I am quite aware that there isn't a perfect job or
circumstances (money, family, etc.) weigh in on why people do what they
need to do. Maybe I'm just an optomist or a 'good times avenger' but I
sometimes feel like it's a waste of time if your heart isn't entirely set
in what you do as a profession.

However - this has it's advantages as you can be more fearless to do more
"out of the box" projects. Yet again - another story all together.

Therefore - are you just wasting time or are you really moving forward??

My downfall will be.....

....not swallowing corporate/business office humor and having people assume
that I don't have a sense of humor. (Even though I'm proactive with the
jokes and even graduated from the funny school of Second City -
http://www.secondcity.com ).

....not realizing the goodness that's right in front of my face and trying
to look beyond it for something better, when in fact the best was right
under my nose.

....not taking more risks.

....being overwhelmingly funny and laughing at life situations where drama
is what's needed to be played out and focused on instead.

....money, women, and being a "guy."

....age catching up.

....daydreaming instead of doing.

....getting TOO comfortable and just "dealing with it" instead of saying
what I really feel.

....utilizing "complete the sentence" formats too much instead of writing
out more full, vivacious story/essay structured work to exercise my writing
ability.

exercising makes a difference

it really does make a difference when you get some exercising in your
routine. last night i went to the gym but haven't been there for about 2
weeks. surprisingly, i busted out 4 1/2 miles on the track. it felt
pretty good and i had a good stride going. i haven't run that long since
the Shamrock Shuffle (LaSalle Bank's infamous 8k run). there is definitely
this adrenaline kick rushing through your body after you get worked up like
that. i was eating my dinner standing up cause i was still moving around
afterwards - couldn't stop moving. then sleep - oh man - sleeping was
fan-tab-ulous! I was out cold and woke up refreshed. and today - i'm
still hoping around more so than I was in the beginning of the week
(besides my 5 cups of joe and 2 apples - j/k.....about the apples).

ANYHOO - my eye exercise has been "The Alchemist" by Paulo Cuelho. My
friend recommended it to me, but as I'm reading it I see how spiritual it
is. Not that I have anything against that genre of writing - also being
that I had to buy it from the metaphysical section of Borders. However, I
do seem to question the motives of the people that recommend these books to
others on the fact that they like it so much. Was it in general the fact
that this character overcame such a burden and used his wits and shear
repertoir of goodness to overcome it? OR was it a coincidence that you
(the reader) were going through life troubles and found this book to be
relatable in a metaphoric sense, making it the answer to your problems?
motivational if you will.....

Sometimes I have trouble listening to people's perceptions of books or
movies because I take into consideration what kind of person they are. I
know - its sorta elitist - but doesn't it make sense? you could be in the
worse situation w/work and then you go watch this movie about how a dude
overcomes his problems with his boss while getting the girl in the end
(alla Secret of my Success) AND thus makes it an awesome movie. But you
tell your friend Joe about it and he works in the construction biz and is
like, "What's so good about it?" He couldn't relate, but you gave that
recommendation to him w/out thinking....

Get my gist??

However, I digress because I'm not that sorta guy to be like "I'm not gonna
listen to your opinion cause I'm SO much better than you." Then again - I
am writing this blog post, now aren't I???
hhhhhhmmmmmmm.........

scent of a man

You know why there was never a movie called "Scent of a Man" in retort to
'Scent of a Woman'? Because the character of Al Pacino's would definitely
be yelling out a "WOO HA!" everytime a man with B.O. passed by.

I'm sorry, but come on guys - let's be real - when we get rancid, we can
surely GET RANCID! It's true - I'm guilty of it, my dad's guilty of it, my
fraternity brothers are definitely guilty of it, even baby cousins are
guilty of it. Let's analyze this, shall we:

Ever since we were little tykes playing with our monster Tonka trucks and
kung fu gripping G.I. Joe (or G.I. John for the cheaper kids), we'd
straight up poop in our pants. How convenient it was! But right then and
there, we stunk up that room boy! And thus it began - the scent of a man.

Then around puberty time, before we found out about body deodorant, we'd
play kickball during gym period. 20 minutes later in Science class, a cute
girl sitting next to you on those 2 person tabled filled classrooms, would
turn her subtle grin into a distasteful cringe. Not a pleasant moment and
you would know that it was your armpits drawing up those green squiggly
lines around your body.

SO then we get to your adult years when you figure you have the B.O. thing
down to a tee and you're pretty much in control with your cleanliness. You
shower, shave, pamper yourself with lotions, deodorants, and sometimes
cologne ("cause anything else would be uncivilized"). However, sometimes
there are those days when you eat at a restaurant that cook right in front
of you and cheese is a prime ingredient. The food scent sticks to you like
glue. There's your source of B.O.

OR sometimes you don't feel too well cause you went out drinkin with the
boys at the local tavern where everybody knows your name and yes, we've all
suffered from the next day "beer farts." Sorry to be crass, but it's an
epidemic that can't be excused. There's your source of B.O.

OR sometimes you get that athletic itch and go play basketball with the
guys at the park first thing in the morning w/out showering or putting on
some deodorant. After a couple of games, heat coming into play, and pores
opening up - you're in your puberty period all over again. Armpits drawing
squiggly lines. There's your source of B.O.

Thus my friends, as men, let's be careful of when we make an under the
breath remark like, "Oh gawd - it reeks in here" because you could be just
as much of a hypocrite when you start stinking up the corporate bathroom
after gallons of Guiness from last night.

The end.

hey, sun-times guy!

last week, i miraculously made the front of the chicago sun-times on
friday. the article was about a possible hike in train fair and yup, there
i was getting on the train. nothing big. no one interviewed me nor was i
protesting or anything. i was simply getting on the train like i do every
weekday after work. the reason i bring this up is how i became some sort
of celebrity at work that whole morning. everyone was like "awesome! look
at you!" "can i get your autograph?" "is that robert redford next to
you?" (yeah - bob redford was on the front page too about some earth stuff
in chicago.) and then everyone was telling me to get a bunch of copies and
telling me congrats on making a nationally known paper.

and now i shall input my blog's infamous line - "GIMMIE A BREAK!"

first off - i didn't DO anything. i was just taking the train and some
dude took a pic of me that just happen to make the front page. in
retrospect, if you interpreted the article with me as a rider, i should be
portrayed as someone that's upset about paying more money to ride a train
that smells like urine on summer days or delays for 10 minutes before the
last stop cause of train congestion. and stop giving me praise about
nothing. big deal - someone at the newspaper said, "this kid looks like he
gives a damn about riding the chicago transit. let's put him on the
cover!"

and now i other infamous line - "DON'T GET ME WRONG" but i don't mind being
on the cover. it is a pretty cool thing and i'm not putting it down for
what it's worth.

my static has to deal that it's not worth as much as everyone makes it out
to be. i'd rather have been on the cover for my documentary or my awesome
writing, but instead on on the cover cause i'm a train rider. i'd probably
like it more so if i were quoted on how the hike bites the big one.

now i know what 15 minutes of fame feels like - literally. this is NOT the
climax of my celebrity status but i guess all that hype made it feel like
something like that would never come again. i beg to differ as i will push
to get my face on that cover again for something that i've done for mother
earth, whether it be film, writing, or being more outspoken. ask me about
this again in 10 years...

a current affair!

time is ticking and it feels like it's going really, REALLY slow! don't
you hate the friday before a long weekend? you're stuck at work or school
and when it gets closer and closer to the end of the day, it feels like
time goes slower. yeah, yeah - i know - don't look at the clock or keep
busy cause then you won't notice time fly. but i always feel like i need
to know what time it is because it makes me know what's going on at what
part of the day. in other words - if my boss comes to me and asks me when
i sent that letter or important document out, i can say around 2 o'clock.
it's more acceptable then saying - 'i dunno - like earlier in the day.'

it goes the same with people that read up on the newspaper or keep up with
current affairs. it makes them sound smart when they talk about it. it's
true. i did a personal experiment. i'm a pretty savvy kid and have the
brains to keep up a conversation. SO - one week, i decided to watch the
news every night and talk about it at work or with friends by the end of
the week. the following week, i didn't watch shiet and people would ask me
about things and i could only say, "really? i didn't catch that." or "i
heard about that" but not really. and the rest of my conversations sounded
more like human behavioral complaints or random, funny incidents that
happened through the week. didn't sound as smart as the news, but none the
less - something to carry the conversation.

so today's lesson is to always know the time and news so you sound smart.

what time is it now?

leave me be

i think there's some kind of invisible "f*ck you" sign on me that i can't
see. for some reason, people @ work have been kind of stand-off'ish.
like, "don't talk to me" or "i'm not saying hello to you, b*tch" or "you're
a waste of my time" (haha - circa previous post). but really - i've been
really cheery and nice today cause it's beautiful outside and i'd rather
like to become more upbeat at work. i've somehow pigeonholed myself in the
past to be this d*ck at work that is seen as a 'debbie downer' cause work
sucks. WELL - lately i've wanted to change that cause 1. it takes more
energy to be a downer than it does to be upbeat and if you're always a
downer, no one would want to be around you. i'm a social butterfly outside
of work - why hide that? 2. less stress. when you're always grumpy or
down in the dumps, you're always feeling blue and that there's a cloud over
you. i hate that feeling. i felt like that everyday of my life when i was
in middle school. i should be happier now a days - girlfriend, i'm
thinner, i'm making a movie, and my dayjob isn't crazy difficult.

SO - i'm trying to be more upbeat at work and trying to make my "happiness"
contagious. however - today doesn't seem to be so swell. no one wants to
smile back at me or are irritable or just don't feel like talking. HOWEVER
- what's throwing me off more so is that they're more upbeat to other
people. so this is why i'm wondering if maybe i have this personal f*ck
you sign that i don't know about.

just one of the things i miss about jersey. it was just easier to talk to
people for me there. don't know why - just was.....

wasting time

you know what's a harsh phrase to hear? "waste of time"

Like "That class was a waste of time" or "Talking to him/her was a waste of
time" or "STOP WASTING MY TIME!"

I'm almost positive I've used that phrase in my life, but these days when I
hear it and after knowing what people would rather use "that time" on
instead. NO - it's not a waste of time. Your mind makes it a waste of
time cause you're not taking it in for what it's worth. Am I losing you a
bit? Okay - lemme backtrack a bit...

SO - me personally, I've been contraint w/time - always editing, running,
keeping up with social expectations (weddings, birthdays, etc.), upkeeping
the dayjob, taking care of my lady, and attempting to excel more than
expected in all areas. All these things take time and yet I still try to
schedule new things or put new things on my plate. And yes - I will admit
that I have encountered moments where it was a "waste of my time" because
it was something that I've already done or something I already knew or it
didn't move me forward in the direction I wanted to go. HOWEVER, in a
world where "everything's in the mind," if you take that step outta the box
and look at it from a far from normal point of view (or P.O.V. for you
acronym freaks), then you have to at least muster up a small string of new
knowledge from that experience. Whether it be picking up on a different
human behavior or upkeeping a new relationship (a.k.a. networking) or even
hearing a different voice with a different opinion - it's all relative to
something new. Now unless you're suffereing from a severe case of
consistant deja vu or memory relapse, experiences in life should be like
snow flakes or fingerprints. Everything always depends on how you take it,
but to utter the phrase "waste of time" - well, did you really try to take
that moment for what it was worth??

Okay - let me stop wasting your time....