see. for some reason, people @ work have been kind of stand-off'ish.
like, "don't talk to me" or "i'm not saying hello to you, b*tch" or "you're
a waste of my time" (haha - circa previous post). but really - i've been
really cheery and nice today cause it's beautiful outside and i'd rather
like to become more upbeat at work. i've somehow pigeonholed myself in the
past to be this d*ck at work that is seen as a 'debbie downer' cause work
sucks. WELL - lately i've wanted to change that cause 1. it takes more
energy to be a downer than it does to be upbeat and if you're always a
downer, no one would want to be around you. i'm a social butterfly outside
of work - why hide that? 2. less stress. when you're always grumpy or
down in the dumps, you're always feeling blue and that there's a cloud over
you. i hate that feeling. i felt like that everyday of my life when i was
in middle school. i should be happier now a days - girlfriend, i'm
thinner, i'm making a movie, and my dayjob isn't crazy difficult.
SO - i'm trying to be more upbeat at work and trying to make my "happiness"
contagious. however - today doesn't seem to be so swell. no one wants to
smile back at me or are irritable or just don't feel like talking. HOWEVER
- what's throwing me off more so is that they're more upbeat to other
people. so this is why i'm wondering if maybe i have this personal f*ck
you sign that i don't know about.
just one of the things i miss about jersey. it was just easier to talk to
people for me there. don't know why - just was.....
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