scent of a man

You know why there was never a movie called "Scent of a Man" in retort to
'Scent of a Woman'? Because the character of Al Pacino's would definitely
be yelling out a "WOO HA!" everytime a man with B.O. passed by.

I'm sorry, but come on guys - let's be real - when we get rancid, we can
surely GET RANCID! It's true - I'm guilty of it, my dad's guilty of it, my
fraternity brothers are definitely guilty of it, even baby cousins are
guilty of it. Let's analyze this, shall we:

Ever since we were little tykes playing with our monster Tonka trucks and
kung fu gripping G.I. Joe (or G.I. John for the cheaper kids), we'd
straight up poop in our pants. How convenient it was! But right then and
there, we stunk up that room boy! And thus it began - the scent of a man.

Then around puberty time, before we found out about body deodorant, we'd
play kickball during gym period. 20 minutes later in Science class, a cute
girl sitting next to you on those 2 person tabled filled classrooms, would
turn her subtle grin into a distasteful cringe. Not a pleasant moment and
you would know that it was your armpits drawing up those green squiggly
lines around your body.

SO then we get to your adult years when you figure you have the B.O. thing
down to a tee and you're pretty much in control with your cleanliness. You
shower, shave, pamper yourself with lotions, deodorants, and sometimes
cologne ("cause anything else would be uncivilized"). However, sometimes
there are those days when you eat at a restaurant that cook right in front
of you and cheese is a prime ingredient. The food scent sticks to you like
glue. There's your source of B.O.

OR sometimes you don't feel too well cause you went out drinkin with the
boys at the local tavern where everybody knows your name and yes, we've all
suffered from the next day "beer farts." Sorry to be crass, but it's an
epidemic that can't be excused. There's your source of B.O.

OR sometimes you get that athletic itch and go play basketball with the
guys at the park first thing in the morning w/out showering or putting on
some deodorant. After a couple of games, heat coming into play, and pores
opening up - you're in your puberty period all over again. Armpits drawing
squiggly lines. There's your source of B.O.

Thus my friends, as men, let's be careful of when we make an under the
breath remark like, "Oh gawd - it reeks in here" because you could be just
as much of a hypocrite when you start stinking up the corporate bathroom
after gallons of Guiness from last night.

The end.