the long and winding door that leads to your door will never disappear, i've seen that road before....

greetings hallmark holiday believers,

as we drop our loads of hard earned labor unto fattening chocolates and
adolescent teddy bears wrapping their arms around heart shaped pillows -
less not forget the actual bona fide myth that created this day that
hallmark greeting cards and SDT florists have exploited into a mecca of
importance compared to other holidays.

Once upon a time there was this dude named Cool Petey Valentine and he fell
in love with this chick that he met at a fancy-shmancy ball pah-tay during
those medieval times - ya dig? So Petey was getting his groove on and
bumped into a cutey pie while kickin the robot on the dance floor. he
couldn't believe his eyes and thought that he was living a dream. only in
this dream he wasn't naked and his 6th grade classmates weren't laughing at
him. when he snapped out of his daydream, he only stood there to realize
that the hot little number vanished from the scene of the crime. The
crime? She stole his heart. awwwwww - poor petey V.!! however, he roamed
and played curious like a cat by wondering the 'bouts of the castle. when
he finally found her - he tried to kick it to her only to get haulted by
her royal pain in the arse father, who just happened to own the castle.
trying to get his mack on - petey V. played the playa and told the king to
not hate on him, but to hate the game. only thing that petey didn't know
was that the game was over and he got his bootey beat by the royal guards
known as sir "swift kick" and sir "to your nuts." thus, before petey got
his exile going - he dropped a letter in front of his lady, only to sign it
as "Love your Valentine." and hence, this all happening on the 14th day of
the 2nd month in the year of the lord - you have your Valentine's Day!
ta-da! the end.

now aren't we all just a little bit smarter? i know i'm not.

so go - take your sweety out to a hot steak dinner at the outback and don't
forget to hand her a bouquet of those silk, fake roses that you got at the
gas station for 5 ducketts. cause just like christmas - it's the thought
that counts. HOLLLA!