mind vomit

I'm sick of sitting here and wishing that I were paid to come up with jokes.  I'm reading for the ba-jillionth time John Vorhaus's The Comic Toolbox.  There's a chapter in there that says something to the matter that we need to set-up these mini-celebrations in order to succeed.  In other words, the only way to accomplish a screenplay, sketch, or even a joke is to at least get one word down on paper.  It just has to start.  Editing and cleaning it up or making it funnier can all come later.  Right now, it's a matter of doing instead of waiting, wishing, or thinking.  

My problem isn't this.  I do this all the time in the form of freewrite, blogging, emailing to myself, and yes, chipping away at my screenwriting and sketch comedy.  What my problem is, is time!  I feel like I never have time and when I do have time, there's always something else that is priority.  Like family obligations, girlfriend obligations, or "inspiration" obligations (these are things that I should do in order to get inspired to write, i.e. go to the movies, watch a play, or act crazy around friends).  With my dayjob, time to eat, time to sleep, and just time to be in silence for at least a half hour in order to keep my sanity - I have no time to fine tune what I've written.  

And now that I'm writing this, I realize that really this is my complaining about not finishing something.  Instead of starting something new, how come I'm not going back to the same thing?  How come I'm not chipping away at the screenplay or sketch comedy till it's done?  My other problem is that I'm an idea freak of nature.  I sit and observe, then something happens when I start churning these thoughts into an idea.  The idea isn't fully developed, but it's a step in the right direction.  It has good premise, good promise, and good intentions in being something great.  

Yet again - as I'm writing this, I'm realizing...why the hell aren't you finishing that thought up?!  OR even further more - the time you took to write this, why didn't you just go back to something you've already written and made it better??  

You know what - I'm just insane and need my mind to vomit out this jargon before I get my shiet straight.  Is it nap time yet?

leaving 2 hours earlier

what is with the last two hours of work that kills me?!  especially on Friday, especially when it's nice outside, especially when i just want to leave so badly!  let's play with this, shall we?  let's say i did leave early - what would i do?  probably take the train home, text my girlfriend and rub in the fact that i've left early, then when i get to my train station begin to walk home.  i'd probably stop at the grocery store to pick up something that we could eat for dinner and probably a bottle of vino.  on the way home, i'd probably get harassed by a bunch of kids who are now out of school and have nothing better to do than to loiter waiting for good working pedestrians to be loud around.  i'd get annoyed in trying to ignore them and finally get inside the house.  by the weather today, it's probably really humid inside the house and i'd open up the window for some fresh air.  we have new neighbors that are right across from our kitchen window.  i don't think they work, so they'd probably be loud and make it uncomfortable for me to just relax and watch t.v.  i'd go into our computer room, after pouring a glass of wine, and start doing my usual facebook and email shinanigans.  however, since my "second" job is media oriented, i'd probably start getting into doing a little bit of work by updating websites and trying to write.  most likely, i'll re-read what i've written, hate the way it sounds, hit delete or not save it.  then 10 minutes later after surfing on the web, will finally think of a new way to make that thing i've written sound better to only realize that i'd have to start all over again.  in pissy mood now, i think this would finally fill the extra 2 hours that i would have partaken if i were to leave right now.  i guess lounging around work and writing on my blog is sufficient enough instead.  i guess....

stirring up that hot pot

this is literally going to feed into my taste buds.  i wish i had a distinct opinion about food.  since i was a child, i've been fairly open to different kinds of food.  I'd like to believe that it stems from my filipino background.  However, as I've matured and even grown accustomed to new food flavors, I must say that I'm still indifferent from different degrees of awesome.  My opinion is either - I like it or I don't and most times, I do.  Even when others may not like it, I probably add something like ketchup or hot sauce, and find reason to still finish it up.  To some this may be great in terms of planning food for a party cause then anything works but to myself, or yes some others, distinct opinion of foods sometimes makes one come off as more worldly.  Yes - this worldly attitude can be delivered and displayed in a snobbish format, but that strength in knowing precisely what makes a certain food good or bad is super cool man.  It's like debonair.  Like James Bond and 'ish.  Like most other arts, food creation is the mixture of textures, flavors, colors, and preparation.  There's a hidden strategy to it, which is why Iron Chef rocks.  I don't think I'll be going to culinary school anytime soon, but this is something I'd like to work on as I get older.  

This includes wine!  Not all of it is suppose to taste the same!

Writing thru it!

I think it's necessary to start scratching a particular itch I have.  I always have these random arse ideas of putting a show up on stage, but with so many projects on my plate, I rarely find time to hide and write.  I also feel that sometimes I need to upkeep with friends and family.  Haven't been very good with friends (which I always feel guilty for and hate knowing this) but family is always close to me (I'm just bad at uploading digital pics that I take).  With certain projects winding down and me trying to get my writing routine back into a higher platform, I think it's time to start jiving on a sketch comedy show.  Crazy, I know, I know!  But no insanity in the world makes for a bunch of robots.  

What will my show be about?  I have no clue....I've been trying to think of a common theme amongst the sketches that I've written, but find nothing.  I'm also having an interesting time with writing up new sketches.  My mind hasn't thought of sketch since recently due to an inquiry from a student doing a short film.  I wrote a sketch for him and wrote the basics of it within a day, then went through a rewrite and came up with an above average sketch.  Can I continue that wave of sketch writing?  I'd like to, but I'm in desperate need of a seed of an idea to grow upon.  

I hate this!  It's not writer's block it's more like internal perfection for what may or may not be great.  Then I always think of "what do you want to say to the world?"  Because in gist, these sketches/screenplays/essays/etc.etc. are really my voice in trying to get a message across.  So - what the hell do I want to say???  I'm not sure actually....this wishy washy feeling is killing me.  

A couple of weeks ago, I listened to a Creative Screenwriter's podcast of Charlie Kauffman (Eternal Sunshine, Being John Malkovich, etc.) and the dude asked him what he did in preparation of writing (or maybe it was a question of writer's block or rewriting) - anyhoo, Kauffman said that he did a lot of sitting around and thinking before writing.  Maybe this is what I'm doing....or at least I'd like to believe....

my bad, blogger

I must begin to write on this thing on a more consistent basis.  What's amazing to me is that I'm still writing, but I'm writing in my notebook of randomocity and in my screenplay notebook and thru creative emails.  My mind tells me to keep writing and I advise other writers to "keep writing!" but I get lazy, I get restless, and make excuses.  Writers must remember that writing is an exercise that must be upkept or else we fall victim to losing the power behind words.  I love writing and find it to really be my lifelong passion.  Sometimes I feel like I should apologize to it for letting it lie dormant or ignoring it or cheating on it with other artforms, BUT small entries like this can keep me more sane.  I have to remember this!  This post is an exercise of what should be the beginning of more.  2 words:  honesty and yes.

what a day for a daybreak

it's frigid outside.  and i'm not talking "ooh, that's cold", i'm talkin "dang....the balls just headed up north!"  

christmas is around the corner and i haven't completed the severe task of purchasing christmas presents.  i'm usually pretty good with this in past years, but for some reason this year has been difficult.  don't get me wrong - the internet makes it so frickin easy for any fat man to sit on his couch, surf the web and buy stuff online.  but i think for me, it's been the hunt to find the "right" present.  unlike most "dudes," i put an overwhelming amount of thought into my present picking.  i think this saves on cost for me, because if you think about it - me buying a person that loves to cook a brand new, state of the art cuisinart spatula (for example), would probably be better than some expensive macy's hand towels or lovey dovey flower smelling hand soap.  ya catch my thinking?  it really is the thought that counts.  not the thought of me thinking of just giving you a present, but the thought of me actually putting thought into what i should be giving you.  

it shows that i actually do 'know' you and i actually give a daym about what you think is cool.  and that, my friends, is what's cool during christmas.  it's a good time to test who actually knows you, vs. who just wants to be close to you for when you win the lotto.  

tangent - when did it become professional unacceptable to randomly sing during work?  i thought offices always liked when employees kept a positive attitude and displayed good energy.  playing music and random singing has always been an emotionally associated action.  i can't really sing well, but to the people that really know me - i'm like this jukebox that can stay on random play for hours.  i just let it out.  it's funny cause it's completely random.  my head is always full of songs throughout the day and sometimes, i just wanna sing.  my girlfriend can vouche for the entertainment that i provide through the bathroom door during showers.  there's no theme, but i wish i knew more words to more songs.  yeah, yeah - i'm guilty of being that guy that only knows the refrain/chorus to songs.  but amazingly, if i'm on top of my game, i can pinpoint song names and the person/band that sings in within two or three notes into the song.  i swear this!  just something i picked up along the way.  

okay....i'm done killing time now.  

unload mental stability

i hate late sunday nights. maybe because work doesn't justify the creativity that urges out of my mind. from that, i don't have the necessary practice of my true love of an art. 'creative writing' is beautiful. not to sound like a mr. sensitive type, but it's very endearing and completely moving to take words (of any language) and move them into positions that can conjure up the feelings of man. with the mighty pen and marks of truth, i can make people cry, laugh, and simply think. however, my occupation doesn't take advantage of that want that i have to unload that truth. everything i write i work is uniform, justified, and support by cold facts where no room for imagination can play. i've always thought writing as an art was like answering an open ended question that can only be graded as pass or fail with the teaching being the audience member who reads. however, my job has taught me that writing can also be a mathematical equation where there is a right and a wrong that is formed by the correct terminology inserted in the correct spots otherwise the incorrect positioning can create the serious consequences when trying to pass as true. heavy thought - i know, but that absence of creativity and only practicing the mathematical equation makes for complete boredom. yeah - it's my personal opinion, but i dig it.

so sunday nights make me ponder this as i need to retreat to bed early enough to carry on the life of an "adult." can you believe that being an "adult" can be stereotypical? it's true. being an adult means drinking coffee in the morning, dressing in "work clothes" (otherwise known as 'business' or 'business casual' attire - gimmie a break....), speaking in proper etiquette terminology with words that contain more than 2 syllables, asking people "how's it going?" and answering back with "fine" without even thinking it, and continuing that cliche saying of this "grind" to "pay the bills" and making "another day another dollar" - BLA! that's an adult!

but then again, sometimes i do like being the 'adult' rather than being a kid or a "teenager." YES - did think i wouldn't speak of the other end of the spectrum by saying that being a 'teenager' can be stereotyped as well? well it can and it's actually of innocent magnitude. as an adult, we tend to forget how that teenager that we once were was innocent meaning he/she didn't know better. although very guilty of bad things, it's always just a trying time to figure out 'what the fuck is going on?' or in their language - "wtf?" so being a teenager means not having a true grasp of your feelings and having these urges that need to be embellished and spoken out, the need to either fit in or to completely stay away from everyone, the misunderstanding of parental units or authoritative figures and the cool of rebelling!, and also just the lingo to whatever is hip. the one thing that i miss about being a teenager the most is being indulged in music ALL the time. not that i can't do it now, but it actually does take time to pick up new sounds and listen to new bands or try to find new music. i just don't have the time, which is another thing that can get chaulked up under being an 'adult.'

don't forget that these are stereotypes of these age affiliated words. anyone can be anything and act in anyway, but this is how society sees these people. if that person doesn't act correct to their age, then people always have to demeanor their true opinion of the person according to the situation at hand.

there's your long awaited, new random lesson....

good golly miss molly

You know I couldn't stay away for a whole year!! I apologize to the
blogger-stalker nation for not dropping current knowledge of my mind leaks.
It's been a busy bee couple of months and freedom felt like a non-existant
oasis. However - I've finally got a handle of the different foods on my
plate to be able to now share some thoughts that have been tickling my mind
of recent. I hope you enjoy reading forward and as an incentive bonus,
I'll also be sharing a bit of knowledge regarding an on-line film
competition that my documentary is part of. WOOOO HOOOO!!!

random go:

-would it be wierd if "a guy" said to another "guy" in the bathroom, while
releasing toxins at the urinals - "wow man - i smell some good poopin. you
smell that?" I think we would relinquish any form of taboo or awkward
feeling if we finally admitted that our bodies release smelly gases and
human body waste. I mean - let's grow up for a second! - I try to stay
away from the blue humor, but isn't it natural that we do these things??
So why can't we talk about it? Same thing about sex, but that's for
another blog post.

-i've been reading up on this thing called "metaverse." The term is
basically the upcoming digitized universe where interaction takes place
online through created avatars and digitzed versions of people. Can we
make it anymore easier for our children to not interact with real life?!?!
And we complain about how we've become a heavier nation! It's because of
things like this that kids don't know how to talk in front of people, get
shy, sit in front of computer screens all day, ruin their eyes, and get
their wrist bones all sorts of hurtin. Don't get me wrong - I do see the
upside to ideas like this and do applaud how technology just advanced again
5 seconds ago and just did it again right now (and again, right now). But
I think we need to control how things like this get exposed and/or make it
less easy for younger generations to advance at a quicker pace. I've
always felt that the better workers in society are the ones that have
actually gotten their hands dirty and gone through the nity grity
experience that was needed to get conquered for advancement.

Now that i've gotten your fists pumping with social power and bringing back
the old school, i'm going to hurt your heart by saying that this metaverse
is pretty strong. it may be coming sooner than people think and i do
advice on preparation. therefore - start by drawing a picture of yourself
and only communicate to other people by using it like a puppet. it will be
one step closer to how it may be in 10 more years.

-i'm sore from moving yesterday. that's all - i'm just hurt.

be well, my kiddies! and tell your friends that they're the coolest and
tell your family (well - the ones you like) that they rock cause something
people just need to hear that stuff.

i sing the song of random

ya know - I have not written positive affirmation on this thing as of the
new year. so today's blog posting will be dedicated to quick and quirky
random jive from sir blab-o-lot! enjoy it (in your face!)!

--what's the deal with swiss bank accounts? i think even when i was a kid,
it was a joke on prime time television sitcoms to have a 'swiss bank
account.' is it because since they're neutral on war, that they're money
growth per capita is greater than the now powerful euro? is chocolate
really THAT valuable that if you invest in their bank you not only get
great interest rate, but bonus box of chocolates (even WITH the map of
what's inside the chocolates!)?

-speaking of swiss and chocolate (or even less cliche - speaking of
underware and cigarettes), swiss miss, quick, bosco, ovaltine, or any other
form of chocolate mix drink - what's better - adding water or milk?? i
think it goes by which one you're making - hot chocolate or chocolate milk.
because in retrospect, if you're making chocolate milk with water, then
it's not really chocolate milk, it's chocolate water. and if that's the
case, might as well add DIRT cause that's what it'll taste like!

-speaking of fondue and mrs. field's cookies - i've been addicted to
'instant watching' on my netflix account. god - does anyone else have
this!?!? this is so cool. so the deal here is if you have a netflix
account, not only do you get your dvd's in the mail with no late fees, but
you also can watch films that netflix has uploaded in their superior
databank to watch instantly over the web. if you have great resolution and
a nifty speed on the internet highway, it's game on! (and this is my plug
for netflix - AGAIN! i'm still waiting for compensation!)

-speaking of robots of the future and neo soul music - i want to learn to
speak german. doesn't everyone?! i'm going to learn. that's all.

-speaking of spank me whips and sugar free hot mocha frappacino - tell me
you'll continue this game later on, eh?1

enjoy your day!

to you, and you, and you

This is a letter of remorse, honesty, and the will to endure what needs to
be done in order to move forward with personal goals.

To whom it may concern-

I can no longer give into feeling unnecessary guilt for not being a better
person to you. My apologies are due for not giving you the such essential
time you need in order to be fulfilled with my presence. However, I want
to gesture reasoning on the behalf of people that get our of comfort zones.
The motives you carry are needs to use social events such as restaurants,
bars, clubs, or overwhelming get togethers as a cover up for not
challenging your intellect.

WAIT - I have no means of insult nor am I trying to degrade you to a class
that seems lower to me. I'm nothing special and my upbringing is far from
elite situations which hopefully keep me down to earth and easy to
understand. Sometimes trying to convey thought and certain ideas needs to
be interwoven with truth. We all know the truth (the REAL truth) hurts.
I've felt it and I hope you swallow this with a spoonful of sugar.

Continuing on - my personal goal is to get into a world that is far from my
own knowledge of books, the internet, and bonus coverage on dvd's. I can
only get so near to know that there's no business like showbusiness but
where I am right now still takes time and work. Time which takes me out of
where I was before. Dwelved into a lifestyle of working an 8 to 5 job,
waiting for the weekend, then partying it up to only realize these things:
1. complaints and wishes on making movies 2. eating unhealthy and
staying lazy to complain again on not getting chicks and 3. not wanting to
go back to a job that I despise but am stuck because I don't want to have
to look for a new job. It's easy to stay this way because it doesn't take
work, but the thing that became irritable and completely, utterly annoying
was the word 'complain.'

You cannot complain if you're not trying! If you're not trying, then
you're bringing this upon yourself. Whatever you're complaining about - if
the cause came from something you didn't try to improve on, then how are
you entitled to complain? But our society is built on complaints. If you
think about, laws are made, things are created, objects are invented by the
terms of becoming better and in order to know what's better, you need to
know what's wrong. Complaints equal 'what's wrong?'

To not get too far from the root of this letter, improvement takes time.
Time is so limited in our lives when you take the means to improve on so
many different aspects of your life. Let's go back to the list and see how
my time expired. 1. complaints and wishes on making movies turned into
time to tape interviews, watch footage, and edit, edit, edit, and on yeah -
edit. If something doesn't look right, back to the editing board. If a
story isn't understood, especially in a documentary, back to the editing
board. If you're trying to make a movie better, back to the editing board.
Understood. 2. eating healthy and being lazy to complain about ladies
turned into exercising, eating right, and taking the time to work-out.
This turned into getting dates and getting into a relationship. A
relationship where I want (the key word is 'want') to be the best boyfriend
I can be. Working out and relationship upkeep equals more time. and 3.
not wanting to go back to work that I dislike has turned into me speaking
up at work and getting into a position that I do like. However, it's a
higher up position which entails more responsibility, more time commitment,
and thankfully, more money.

Now in retrospect, it looks like things are good - right? These are good
things that I've turned around for myself. Awesome! All the time and
energy that I've put into doing what I wanted to make better and get rid of
the word 'complaint.' But what's this - oh, oh.....where did everyone go?
All the people that I went to the bars with, ate at restaurants with, and
drank beers with - they seemed to have disappeared. And what's this even
more? I'm totally out of the loop that it feels like friends are enemies
because I didn't have time for them. When they needed to complain to
someone about something that they didn't act on, I wasn't there to tell
them what they wouldn't be doing because it sounded good to them. And now
you're reading an apology letter because I wasn't being a better person.

Can you tell me if I really did something wrong? When I send you emails on
trying to get together for events that I CAN make, do you ignore it and say
under your breath that I'm not worth it? Do you feel that in order to be
MY friend, you have to work on MY time and the effort isn't mutual? Well -
then I guess I am guilty.

So to whom it may concern - I apologize. I'm no better after writing this
letter to a blog that people never read, but to know that I complained.....
well, you know how that story goes.

And to the people that do read - thank you for listening. I want no
sympathy. Just carry on as you normally do. This is all I ask.

Sincerely,
Creative Mind Spill

wow - i haven't written in here since forever and a day. "so, what's new?" he says. well - the grass ain't green and the leaves are falling, so winter is coming. Chicago is cold and when i say cold, I mean testicles arise! it's true and guys shouldn't be ashamed to share this fact.

i had a private screening of my documentary film last week and i'm still sorta clouded in the head about it. it was good and bad at once. good - in the sense that i got to see a flick i made on the big screen. bad - in the sense that 1. weather was quite crap-alicious so people bailed from their RSVP 2. i could hear in mind what people were thinking when i was watching it (didn't feel right) and 3. i wished i had refined my art project a little bit more.

so - yes, i'm back to the drawing board, but not on clean canvass, rather placement of what was already laid out. just gotta make what i got better. another draft if you will (and if the term is used for beer, i'll have two).

i feel like i can never get used to critique. for me - it always depends on who it's coming from and what the subject matter is. i've always been a writer and ever since being placed in reading level B in 5th grade, i've felt below the standard of excellence. so i've always tried to excel to touch the sky, yet no matter how many times i've had to face peer to peer review, it always depended on who it was coming from and what it was about. i'm not gonna take cooking advice from someone who's never touched a skillet before. and not to say, i'm not gonna take viewer advice from someone who's never made a movie before - but if you're gonna give me feedback, back it up with something concrete within the film. nothing like 'man, this part sucked' or 'i thought this was boring' - without leaving the film aesthetic of why it sucked or why it was boring. i can fix your problem, just gimmie a good reason to.

next - wow - i never thought i'd fall into a situation where i'd find that friends have become more high maintenance as i've gotten older. i'm probably becoming guilty of this myself by concentrating on my film and not being able to hang out as much as i use to. but geez - i go make a film and ask people to come out, then i don't get any love back. ouch...i'm sorry. i didn't know i had to call or email you every week to make sure you were okay. i figure once every two weeks is sorta standard and even upscale as far as 'guy' standards are concerned. and if this doesn't fly, then let it be....i can't take back thoughts that have accumulated by one's self.

i'm tired - i've said this during periods in my life when i've become mentally exhausted. now if people know me well enough, i usually do try my best to flip that frown upside down and show some ass crack for the sake of giggle giggle, tickle, tickle. but with this film taking hold of me, high maintenance friends exhiling me from their lives, and darker days before my eyes....well, i'm tired. maybe out of minute depression, lack of exercise, or maybe not accepting the turn of tides.

changes are happening, my friends. i'm becoming too old to accept, yet i'm the one adding to the phenomenon. people have passed me by and i can't do anything about it.

sidenote - google 'kevin smith's blog.' yeah - the dude who did clerks. his shiet is high-larious! later.

When I grow up....

I'm in no position to give advice to college kids. I'm not the one that
was determined to come out with a particular degree when I entered my
collegiate career. Instead, I floated into a unforeseen world that opened
up opportunities that I didn't know existed. Yes - I am guilty of falling
into the "asian" path of starting out as a Biology major, but as time
passed and the liberal sense of looking into different areas of education
opened in front of me, I had to see what I loved. I wanted to find myself
in these different books and different classes and different professors.
The search for a voice that was similar to mine was found in film classes.
There was a deeper love found in writers and how they conveyed their
stories. Writing had always been there as my escape from whatever
commotion life brought me and it never talked back. It never told me how I
f*cked up on something. Instead - it was a tool of self realization. It
was my doppelganger telling me the evils of what I was doing. It was my
mother or father holding my hand and telling me everything was alright. It
was my work telling me how stressed out I was and how much crap I take from
my bosses. So when I went to college, I found out that all that writing,
all those journal entries, all those voices in my beat up notebook next to
my bed - they were all in a classroom. Someone else out there felt the
same way as me a long time ago. Someone with stronger words felt the same
way I did. And now I can learn about them. It was amazing. And even
better - since I was a movie junkie - there was a connection. There was a
meaning behind what I loved. It wasn't a daydream anymore. This love
could become a reality of mine and this is what I found in college. So for
all you math, science majors that can only comprehend what is right or
wrong through theory or law - please don't forget to look beyond the
calculations. There's more meaning behind what I'm writing. There's more
meaning behind those numbers you enter into your Texas Instrument. Our
worlds are the same - it's a matter of finding it. But here I am with my
degree and waiting for my calling. And like I said - I'm in no position to
give advice to college kids....

the decks

you know what seems to be a big project for guys in the 'burbs? working on
their deck. i don't know if its a city requirements to have decks or maybe
a crazy house fashion fad during the 90's, but whenever I hear the elder
gents talk about their plans for the weekend, they always seem to say, "I
gotta work on my deck." What 'work' means in this context can measure
anywhere from re-staining it to decorating it with those lovely fake
plants. And as I'm not a deck owner myself, I tend to wonder why it must
be done so often during the summer season and why it's such an on going
task? How big can your deck be? ("that's what she said...." - bidum
ching) But really - I'm pointing this out to be a suburban man's default
answer to "what's going on this weekend?"

For a city man like myself, I like to say things like, "Well, I'm going to
the strip club again to eat that free pizza because you can't find cheese
like that anywhere else" or "I'm going to the bar with some friends and
stand around watching sports with the music too loud for me to hold any
sort of conversation" or my personal favorite "buying crack and getting my
money from my tricks." JOKES, people - JOKES!

On another note, a new upcoming season of Rutgers football is around the
corner. Keep your eyes on the sports tube, cause I have a feeling you'll
be watching them in a BCS bowl game. Why does this matter to you? Because
more viewer support/fan base means more alumni donations which means more
funding for school which in turns teaches those college rascals better and
thus creates better workers in the world we live in. SO - support Rutgers
man....it's the truth. And if you're thinking, well, what about the other
schools?? NO - RUTGERS I SAID....dang, don't you listen?!

to that dude

this post is a dedication to all my homeboys that still bring a sense of
chivlry into this world. this is for that guy that gives up a seat on the
train when he sees an old lady come on board and there are no seats
available. this is for the nice guys that digest things for what they are
instead of expect things to meet their standard of need. this is for the
man that is "man" enough to know that he has feeling and says 'i love you'
to his lady - but not for the sap that uses it out of lust or uses it to
cover up his tracks for wrong doing. this is for the homeboy that sits up
straight, does his work, and knows to talk when talked to - instead of
always 'trying' in order to look good. this is for the dude that knows not
to give a flying f*ck about what other people think and does what he wants
to because he wants to - which in turn, makes him knowledgable to look out
for his peeps. in other words - he knows what he wants to do and still has
the social etiquette & accommodating manner to not be selfish. AND this is
for the guy who's just trying to do his own thing without needing to worry
about 'feeling bad.'

let's keep it real y'all! stop playing each other for fools and chill the
f*ck out. look up a funny joke and tell it to someone you don't know.

end.

busy bee

i moved up on the eating chain @ work which makes me completely tooooooo
busy to write on here. i apologize to any that read my blog looking for
insight on how i think the world evolves, but really doesn't......

i recommend viewing old posts as i was probably more creative then...

Fake talk

How do people do it??? There are people at work that are in the position
of dealing with clients and other upper level officers that just know how
to put on that commercial smile and say the "right" words. But how? How
can you come into work (unless you enjoy/love your job, then icksnay this
complaint) and always seem to be peppy?

See - I don't characterize myself as the 'average joe' because I'm a little
insane in the head. I'm not mental, rather an "outside of the box" thinker
that says quirky shiet on a speed scale of 3.2 seconds during responses.
However, I will say that upon my observation of the human mind, I have
accumulated the mood and situation at hand to accommodate to the masses.
Thereby I've been able to massage my werds into an appropriate manner where
it can still be funny, yet suitable for who's in the room. HOWEVER - I
can't do the peppy, work jive. I've been trying to work on it with the
cliche work conversations. These topics include: weather, sports (mainly
local teams and works better for older males), current events/news, and any
funny anecdotes that can be incorporated into the work. BLA BLA BLA!!
Yuck - not a fan of the cliche work conversations as it doesn't make the
world turn nor does it make movements into my psyche. Yet it does improve
relations in the work force and it does show that I'm not always sleeping
on the job (....haha - fooled them again!).

Back to the main question at hand - how do people plaster on that smile
everytime someone comes to greet them at work? Like EVERY TIME! Even when
they're getting work! Now unless someone who usually gives me work flips
the script and says, "Hey - no filing today, but here's a jillion dollars I
feel like giving you" than I'll just keep to my usual - "Hey, how's it
going?" Otherwise, I'm working on this aspect of my job.....

Holy geez - you would've thought I had this down by now. I graduated from
college over 6 years ago now.....

4th of July

AH - it's picnic time again and time to rejoice in this Hacksaw Jim Duggan
patriotic event. Let's see - the 4th of July is our time to celebrate the
Independence of our country. But really - are we that independent?? Have
we really escaped the shackles of a legal system that places taxation on
our well being??

Back then, we signed the Declaration of Independence to stand tall against
the power that is Great Britain. They were all over us - putting taxes on
everything we do and everything we buy. Now - how about our gas or how
about our public transportation or how about our electricity? It isn't
called tax within these terms & conditions that are in fine print at the
bottom of websites or bills when we sign up for it. Rather, it's part of
the whole kit & caboodle as service or fees or surcharge.
Am I just an angry American looking for the next free thing or trying to
get the big discount instead of paying my just fair dues accordingly?? I
don't think so! I'm just a person that doesn't want to pay $40 dollars for
a full tank of gas for a small Maxima.

And don't get me started on a war that's taken up billions and billions of
dollars. Errrr!

It's sad that our world runs on money, yet its so necessary to survive. SO
- come your Independence Day celebration - less not forget what we're
really free of - the Backstreet Boys.

The end.

jokes, and jokes, and jokes

OKAY - so i get the whole "i'm just talking to myself" at work thing. BUT
"COME ON" (the infamous werds of this blog) don't overuse it to sound like
you're this super busy person! it also sounds irritable - like you're
speaking under your breath about something instead of complaining outloud
like a person with confidence. i like the people that tell jokes to
themselves instead and laugh or smirk out of nowhere. that's more fun.
rather hear more of that in the stuffy cublicles than people speaking under
their breaths....

next observation: alright, so I'm a guy and we do have "guy talk" in which
we let loose with our werds and say excessive language that is not
acceptable to the female party. BUT i have been in the mix of different
ladies that there are some that use language equally if not worse than us
lads do. its pretty simple to talk with a filthy mouth saying if a "chick"
is hot and what you would do to her. (eww...i know, i know....) however -
what the heck is "girl talk"?? i can't imagine it being the same. girls
talking about guys and what they would do to them. that doesn't sound
right. in my mind, girl talk varies from smack talk about another girl
(because from my own observations, ladies are quite chatty and many of you
have admitted guilt to this) to overloading with the mushy talk of love.
the stuff in the middle are areas that metrosexual boys and super
sensitive, artsy nerds can still relate to.

i think i'm gonna start telling one joke a day to make people smile a
little bit more at work. how's that for affirmation?!?!

what's my grade?

I read this article today and thought it was funny. Thought I'd share as
it shows what lengths kids go to these days to not take a grade over again.
Remarks to follow:

BERLIN (Reuters) - A 16-year-old Berlin student was so worried he would
have to repeat a year at school because of poor marks he convinced two
friends to storm his class and steal the report cards with his bad grades.

"The student probably honestly believed that he could avoid repeating the
school year if he made the report cards disappear," said a spokesman for
local police Monday.

The youth sat quietly at the back of the classroom as the two masked
robbers, aged 14 and 15, burst in and threatened his teacher with a steel
bar if she did not hand over the reports.

After grabbing them, the two tried to flee but dropped the reports as other
students leapt to defend the teacher. The two were arrested close to the
school, and told police their friend had devised the raid because he was
afraid of flunking a year.

Police would not reveal what incentives the youth had offered the pair to
carry out the robbery, adding the youths faced legal consequences once
investigations were over.

REMARKS: can you imagine how this plan was conceived?

flunking kid: "No really - this isn't a joke. So you should come in and
steal the report cards."

friend #1: "have you gone mad? how much did you say you'll pay us for
this??"

friend #2: "and you'll still give us access to watch your extremely hot
sister take showers??"

this has to have happened, but seriously - how dumb can you be to think
that this could work with a "steel bar"??? a steel bar?? in a classroom
with probably 30 students. 30 STUDENTS! you gotta watch your set-ups with
this ploy, my friends.

Is it wasting time or moving forward?

So you complete college, get your entry level position, stick with it for
about 5 years (this includes the annual raises, promotions, and weekly
"monday blues"), gain some recognition within the company, and then
suddenly feel like you don't want to do it anymore. Not that it's a sudden
thing, but more possibly like a "I wasn't 100% sure" thing. This
especially happens when you submit to accepting any job straight outta
college to gain experience, but experience kept you in somewhat of a
comfort zone for too long. Things mask your initial goal to get the dream
job that you want (a.k.a. Huge Hefner's pesonal assistant, steven
spielburg's set aid/screenplay advisor, or Carmen Electra's lotion
latherer, etc., etc.) such as good benefits, a good retirement plan, and a
slew of paid vacation days. HOWEVER - you weren't 100% sure you wanted to
get into the thick of this job because a.) you had other personal goals in
mind 2.) you'd rather make more bank doing what you like in life and z.)
monotony kills. SO when you think you're gaining experience and moving
forward, you might actually be wasting time. Like digging a hole deeper as
you commit to what you really didn't intend on sticking with for so long.
The saying "...to get my feet wet" has turned into "I've drowned and am now
swimming with the fishes."

We all have aspirations and dreams for when we get outta college and it's
sad that I haven't met too many people that can actually say they love what
they do (...I've met a few, but to my own discretion have made me feel like
this is all they do with their lives, which scares me for not having a
different form of outlet ....this is a whole different story/thought all
together). And yes - I am quite aware that there isn't a perfect job or
circumstances (money, family, etc.) weigh in on why people do what they
need to do. Maybe I'm just an optomist or a 'good times avenger' but I
sometimes feel like it's a waste of time if your heart isn't entirely set
in what you do as a profession.

However - this has it's advantages as you can be more fearless to do more
"out of the box" projects. Yet again - another story all together.

Therefore - are you just wasting time or are you really moving forward??