that northern telecom phone that everyone has at their work

i'm not very fond of people that don't know how to chill out at work.
sometimes there are low periods at a job, when there actually might not be
a lot to do, so some people find it necessary to do things that are
completely meaningless. they have no other way of looking busy except to
start picking at things that are so intricate and detailed that if they
were busy, they'd completely overlook. i mean - gimmie a frickin break!
data in a database where some letters need to be capitalized is not my
definition of important work. being nit picky and consistantly talking to
people about work related things makes it come out like your nagging or
just not fun. i know what environment we're in and yes - work is the goal
at hand here. BUT our lives are not meant to be defined by paper work or
what someone more knowledgable or educated commands us to do. this life we
lead and the road we choose from different paths that confront us is what
makes us who we are.

we work to live. we don't live to work.

just chill out. stop trying to make everyone who's relaxed around you look
so bad. i'm sure you can see where i stand. and if you're opposed to
me....

take it easy. i'm not saying that we should not get any work done. its
just that there are certain times when the work place has not so tense
moments and when a little fun can be implemented, just let it be without
coming off as an elitist because you're a hardworker. i'm a hardworker
too. i get my shiet done and i do it very well. even surpass the
intentions of my goal at times. but some people just need to realize that
there is more to life, more to the same ol'building you come to everyday
for a bajillion years, and more to living a routine ordeal. a more
enjoyable environment makes for more enjoyable employees. if these people
look forward coming to work - isn't that suppose to be a good thing?

an eraser

i apologize! i'm sorry - to all the people that i spit on. yes, friends
and family and random blog readers, i am guilty of "speaking spittal." i
think it's because i speak sorta fast and trying to get so much info out
quicker than my mouth can handle, i have this tendency to "spray it, not
say it." therefore, i apologize! i'm sorry! it's sorta like i'm kissing
the world, one conversation at a time....

moving right along - SUPERMAN will be here. this movie has been
toooooooooo long in the making. i heard about the return of this movie for
like 3 years and only NOW is it coming out. on a wednesday night for that
matter. i hope it is well worth the wait and hype because i have read
kevin smith's version of the story and well.......kevin smith rocked it.
we'll see.....at least its the summer, which introduces the beginning of
the summer blockbusters. we'll see who reaches the rankings this year.
Speaking of Kevin Smith - Clerks 2. i can only pray that this helps
kevin's career rather than hinder it. if this doesn't cut it, it might be
time to get back to independent styles. my new estimated date of "That
Asian Thing" completion will be mid-Fall. This is primarily due to editing
time and completion of filming. keep yer fingers crossed and tell me to
break a leg. then i have to wish and pray that my entrance into film
festivals will be solid.

i'm done thinkin on this for now...maybe more later....

pens galore

so yeah - that thing up top is the "teaser" to my film to be......

hopefully you'll like it and hopefully you'll let all your friends know
about it.

lately i've been running on E but i feel like if i stop or if i do anything
that isn't towards the project of this film/concert, then i'm being
half-ass about it. but seriously, i'm completely and utterly tired. the
only person who can be a witness to this is my girlfriend and when i go to
interact with outsiders, it's become what feels like work because i have to
put as much out there as i can when it comes to promotions. if you know
me, you know that i'm a pretty personable person. i can talk and i like to
conversate. i do know how to listen and i like to believe that i'm very
open minded to a wide range of anything. however, doing all the marketing,
promotions, filming, interviewing, reading material, emailing, and just
even going to my dayjob to do work outside of this project - WELL, all the
talking seems to be nothing unless there's a physical, viable product in
front of people. HENCE - this little teaser. i've watched footage of
interviews at least 10 times a piece to look for just the right snippets to
throw in there. i listened to a lot (A LOT) of asian american artists'
music, to get the right feel for the right scene. and if you can believe
this, i'm working on the actual script for voice over. there's a lot to
making a full length feature - especially if you have an army of one -
yourself.

SO - i'm tired BUT i'm still moving.

in other news:

i've quit smoking and putting all the occasional mishaps aside (like drunk
drags or out of state partying), i've been clean for over a year and a
half. i've become a runner (...well, not lately.....since i've taken up my
project full time) and i'm an advocate on eating healthy. HOWEVER - i've
turned to the bad, bad drug of caffiene. Since i've been so tired lately,
i feel like drinking coffee and diet coke helps me get through the day.
NOW if you asked me if i wanted coffee about a year ago, i would've been
like "no way jose" cause it's bad for your heart. but then i'd say that
before lighting up a cigerette. it's really just become my substitute. i
need to stop. it's a wonder how drinking coffee has become professionally
acceptable during meetings.

this will be all....

my red and black sharpie - oh how i love thee

i had a wierd dream last night.

i was in what felt like my fraternity house but wasn't. for some unknown
reason, dreams make up new "realities" as far as making you feel like
you're at a place that you know, but it really isn't that place. like i've
had dreams that took place in a room that's suppose to be my house because
it felt like my house, but its a place i've never been to before. ANYHOO -
continuing on - I was in this room that was like a cave in the basement of
the fraternity house. there was a party going on, but it was just me and
one of my cousins' friends chillin with me. he was playing with a crab the
size of his arm. it wasn't biting him, but he was playing with it. then a
spider, the same size, came out. we decided to let'em have a go at each
other to see who would win in a fight. as they were fighting, i backed up
to give them some room. out of nowhere, a bat started to attack me. i was
wearing my long, overcoat that had long sleeves and use them to swap the
bat away. everytime it came close to me, i just hit it. it kept getting
more angry, so i just left the room when it was far enough from me. when i
got out of there, there was a staircase (very dark) that led upstairs.
people were going up and down it, just like a frat party. one of my
fraternity bros stopped me to ask where i was. i told him the whole story
and then the alarm went off.

really, REALLY wierd.

my girlfriend asked me, "what were you dreaming about?" i told her the
story i just wrote out and she said, "you were moving around and mumbling
in your sleep. i thought it was funny."

it wasn't a scary dream, except for the bat part. but it was just deeply
bizarre.

my ringing phone

sometimes when i wake up really early in the morning, there's that morning
dew smell that reminds me of yesteryear. i remember being in grade school
again and walking to my catholic school in the cold breeze of chicago wind
with the blue hue. the smell also reminds me of going on road trips with
my family when i was a kid. my dad would get us to leave at 4 in the
morning to beat traffic and get a good start on the road. the smell is
also reminiscent of first period classes at college. i only had a few, but
to get up and smell that morning dew while looking at an empty campus was
really a site to see. you get to appreciate how nice your college looks in
it's natural, naked beauty.

there are other smells that remind me of past situations. i'm sure you can
relate.

another note: please check my film blog every now and then too. i just
unloaded a lot of thought into today's entry.

i'm tired....this will be all.

my notary public stamp

From answerbag.com:

"The phrase "speak of the devil" is a shortened form of the medieval phrase
"speak of the devil and he shall come." It was thought that if you talked
about the devil it would attract his attention. That is why when you are
talking about someone and they show up you say speak of the devil."

Well now y'all know and knowing is half the battle. Actually - I'm a
little disappointed by this answer of "Where did 'speak of the devil' come
from?" I thought it would be this ancient lure of satanic corruption where
Lucifer had worked out a deal with Jacob the disciple. Whereas Lucifer
would give him riches in terms of unlimited bottles of wine and sheep skin
for the knowledge of Christ almighty's source of power. Then while
drinking tea with Luke and Peter, Jacob told them his story of running into
a black caped man calling himself Lucifer. As he uttered those words, the
subject showed up in person. "You scare me as the devil, good sir!" Jacob
said. And without resistance - Lucifer did a Wonder Woman type spin to
turn into THE DEVIL! Now becoming completely red and growing horns, he
caught a pitchfork that grew and shot out from the ground. Luke and Peter
luckily had bottles of Holy Water on them and began to throw. "CURSES!"
Lucifer said and ran away.

Hence, in my own demonic, corrupted, imaginery mind - this is where the
phrase "speak of the devil" came from.

originally my tea mug but now my mocha mug

Okay - so i completely understand that sometimes "time" is not on peoples'
side and the task of emailing has picked up to be somewhat time consuming,
especially if that's your main source of communication. in today's day and
age - sometimes it's what makes work a less monotonous day. HOWEVER, i'm
not a big fan of quick, to the point comments. For example, I sent out an
email asking friends if they would like to join me for an outing and one of
the replies that i received simply said "i was already going."

that's it.

that's it?

now i understand that i shouldn't expect some long, drawn out emailing
saying that the world is peachy keen and work is making one's body tired
even though it's a desk job, BUT isn't there a more charismatic way of
saying that you were attending the event? "i was already going" is kinda
like saying "OH, i already knew this and i was going without telling you.
don't make it such a big deal cause it's already in my calendar book."
WELL excuuuuuuuuse me for inviting you if you already knew it! something
kinder and quick would be, "hey, i already knew about this - did you want
to meet up?" or even "i'm down." but no, not "i already knew this" doesn't
work nicely.

DON'T GET ME WRONG - i know the reprecussions of bad email etiquette and
have totally been guilty of sending out snobbish or sarcastically mean
messages. BUT i am getting better and i wish people would just re-read
what they send out before hitting that quick release button. sometimes it
really does make people just a little more happy when you get a nice email.

computer monitor

you know what's natural, but embarrassing? not like picking your nose or
passing gas are things you shouldn't do, but something that you can't stop
from doing is making your stomach growl. sometimes my stomach just wants
to talk outloud and let everyone know that it's "letting food settle" or
"sorry, i need to be excused" or "let's be embarrassing!!" but whatever -
it's natural.

ya know - that werd right there is the new mentos. the werd - "whatever"
is suppose to be this justification or excuse to let things go. it's like
a brush off the shoulder (circa jay-z 2003). and like mentos - you're able
to get away with it with no worries. the other person just laughs it off
as you walk away holding your "whatever" in your hand with a big smile.
it's a scapegoat of a werd that i am very guilty of using as well.
however, there are moments where it very applicable in life because
seriously, people are too serious and need to utilize that "whatever" more
often. SO...on that note - whatever.

[also give props to the movie Clueless]

i think i swallowed a hair last night and now it's lodged in my throat.
i've drank hot stuff, cold stuff and eaten a couple of things since this
morning, but it still feels like something's in there. it'll probably
become one of those things like from the movie "My Girl" where she thinks
there's always a chicken bone lodged in her throat. For me - it's a piece
of hair. and going with that - yes - men are just big babies.....

I'm sorry, but i think i need to discontinue the naming of my posts after
beatles songs. i think i ran out. isn't that a shame?! well....i have
had this blog for awhile now, so it was likely to happen at some point.
therefore, i will just name my posts after random objects that lie in front
of me. enjoy.

i want to hold yer hand....

sorry to have neglected you, blog nation. I've been busy with the editing
of my film, my dayjob, and spending time with people I love. Also, the
good weather has invigorated my activity of spending time outside or
driving to unknown chicago regions. I just like to be up and about. Live
life man - that's what you gotta do!

ANYHOO - i do have randumb thoughts lodged in my noggin. here's a go:

--Elevators. wouldn't there be more space on them if everyone on the side
turned sideways and didn't face the opening doors, therefore allowing
another row of people on there? i'm not one to talk, however i always feel
that some people that enter the elevators on my job don't really have a
tetris etiquette to let as much people in. where's the love man? also -
stop looking down - the elevator ride ain't that bad.

-i'm very reluctant to grow my hair out. i shave my head because it's very
easy to handle AND i look good with it. i have a normal shaped head. some
people SHOULDN"T try to pull it off because they have oddly shaped heads.
really - you should check out the shaved head people and see what it
resembles. is it a block head? an egghead? a bumpy head? what works
best?

-my girlfriend watches sex in the city on demand. therefore, i watch sex
in the city as it is on the telly. i must admit - good writing. what i
did think of though was some of the guys on that show. if nothing else
were to happen with their acting careers, they can at least say that "i
played one of cary's boyfriends on sex in the city." to me - that's
actually pretty well known to the women. therefore, if you're an actor
just tryin to score some poon - i think sayin this credential is VERY
clutch.

-Donations. of late in my life, i've been more giving with my money. not
giving to bumbs but rather to friends who work the non profit route. i
know some people that do walks for causes, work not for profit businesses,
and are even starting their own businesses. funds are hard to come by and
friends SHOULD be friends. i'm not the richest guy on the block, but i can
definitely spare 5 or 10 bucks to help out a friend that's been good to me
in the past/present. 5 or 10 bucks towards their goal is closer than
nothing, so why not, eh? "heal the world, make it a better place, for you
and for me and the entire human race...." OR "we are the world, we are the
children, we are the ones who make a brighter day, so let's start giving"

-my 10 year high school reunion is coming up. first - YIKES - how old am
i?? next - YIKES - what the hell do i have to show for it?? whatever - i
have no shame. i just want to talk to more people and hopefully network.
i was pretty well known - not mr. popular, but my name did do me better
than i thought. there's not that many "jonalds" to spare. hopefully it
won't be a night of revengful regrets where people come to carry out things
they "should've done" in their past years. s'all good....i'm just glad i
live in chicago and don't have to run into any aftermath.

eat it. RADIOHEAD - in one month!! WOO HOOOOOooo!!!!

golden slumbers

the following is a retort for people who work in the business world.
you'll understand what i mean:

"do i have a choice? it shouldn't be called a favor if I have to do it."

AH - now that i have that off my back. let's continue on. THIS WEEK conan
o'brien is taping his show at the Chicago Theater on state street. This is
literally 3 blocks away from where i work. i've walked by it for the past
2 days to see if i can somehow worm my way into the show. however, knowing
that taping begins at around 3 or 4 pm....lines to the show form way before
noon. there are people lined up all over the spot. it's pretty crazy. i
did submit an email to get tickets - but it's still at random draw and then
you still have to wait in line to get in. still no guarentee if your name
is picked. i'd have to miss a day of work just to grab my seat.

in the past, i have watched conan live 3 times in new york when i lived in
jersey. all good times. but now that he's a big shot - it's impossible to
grab tickets. o well....

yesterday, i lost an arm and a leg obtaining tickets to my favorite living
band. "living" is the word here - unless by some miraculous feet, Paul and
Ringo can get Lennon and Harrison's sons to jump in a live concert, then
i'd probably lose my soul to get tickets. ANYHOO - my friend and I got
RADIOHEAD tickets!! WOO HOO!!!! too cool as it will be in the auditorium
theater in chicago. can't wait for this date to be history in my life
book. i've never seen them live and have been consistently listening to
them since high school. hail to the thief!

a couple of movies i've watched lately that you should check out if you
haven't: munich (which is now on dvd), me, you, and everyone we know is a
quirky movie with deeper meaning to it than it seems, v for vendetta was
cool and yes - it's about bush administration (very obvious), and
hitchcock's north by northwest. always gotta stick a classic flick on the
list.

holla!

baby's in black

MISSING IN ACTION - sorry to be in nowhere land and not yell out my status
to the seeker, however, personal turmoil has made me not want to write out
to the masses. nothing big - more like a personal rut but i'm getting
through it. sometimes stuff like this happens out of boredom.

passive aggression - what the hell are you? i've been known to be passive
aggressive and it's become a complaint by some. however - i can't
understand what the hell i'm doing that makes it passive aggressive. SO -
let me list the faults that I do that will probably reveal what passive
aggression is.

when i see someone doing something "wrong" (in a sense where i don't like
it or its something messed up), instead of being blunt, sometimes i lay
guilt trips about it. also, i tend to ask a question putting the wrong
doer in opposite shoes to see if what he/she is doing is wrong. get what
i'm saying? example - "hey, is it wrong to put knives in people's back?"
apparently, i hang out with backstabbers. badum ching!

randumbly ongoing - i've deteriorated a ligament in my foot. it was
swollen before and in serious pain, however, it's gone down in swelling and
now i don't feel too much pain (which tends to happen over time). BUT
since i'm missing that ligament, i still have to undergo physical therapy,
which consists of an ultra sound foot massage and whirlpool treatment. how
lavish a therapy is that?! i just hate the fact that i can't completely
run yet and i can seriously injure my foot if i exert myself too much.
booooo!

i've returned from the Asian American mecca known as California. i visited
family and overwhelmed myself with rest and food. eat, go, sleep, go, eat,
sleep. in that order and repeat for 3 days. NOW if only there were a way
to do everything without gaining weight. hhhmmmmm - a new invention could
be in the works....

northern song

patience - is it really for you? OR is it really for the other guy?

i'm starting to believe that the trait of patience is as equally BAD as it
is good. I've always thought patience is a great asset to have and taking
your time on things produces better quality. HOWEVER, as i'm becoming more
involved with my projects - patience is also letting people get away from
stuff. people easily take patience for granted. another aspect that is
not to the fault of evil (as i'm guilty of it too) is that people DO get
busy and DO forget to do things. so patience would be important for
keeping up good relations, but patience would not be good if you know that
the person can be forgetful.

randumbly - do you really get mentally hurt when someone penalizes a
characteristic you pride yourself on? i do. i don't think i should as i'm
a "guy," but shiet man....i have feelings too. when someone says i'm not
funny or not patient or very unreliable - i take it to heart because i
really do pride myself on those assets. it's all i got man. i think my
other big characteristic is pride itself. i have lots of pride. when
someone pokes at it, i take offense to it. and i hate getting sour - i
wish i could brush things off my shoulder but grudges are evil. you want
that revenge so badly because greed and being selfish is easy to do.

it's all hate man. just like star wars - it's easy to get unto the dark
side. but i'm tellin you - it's just as stressful to stay that way. it
takes more work to start shiet up and be angry at someone than it is to
just shrug it off and be on your way. i get too much crap from sexually
deprived men because they build up too much testosterone and can only take
it out on other guys. you get some beer in them, say the wrong words, and
bam - they hold a grudge on you cause in retrospect and all honesty - men
are truly little babies. sorry men - i'm not gay, nor am i a p*ssy....but
honestly, we get too worked up and are probably worse than women cause we
don't release our anger. we keep our feelings bottled up and act like
little babies to try and compensate the way we feel instead of standing up
with a little confidence, being a man, and saying what's on your mind. we
also act more sick than we really are and need more help then we actually
ask for. just stop being a frickin baby and speak up!

okay - too much drama that's unnecessary needs to go away. hope y'all are
having better days!

then there was music!

Wow - my documentary made a magazine! woo hoo!! Exit Weekly is a magazine
based out of New Jersey and luckily, my boy Greg P-diggidy dropped some
knowledge about my film to his editor. Next thing I know, I get a call on
my day off, answer some questions and a week later - bam...I'm public.
It's good P.R. Well - if you think about it, anything to be in the public
eye is good P.R. Good or bad vibes will nontheless make people talk about
you. If I stir up a little contro - sure I'll take it. I just want people
to start taking interest in the matter. Check out the documentary blog
NOW!

I'm on the verge of creating a production company. Still working on a good
name for it though. Didn't know how difficult it was till I started saying
the names out loud. I'm trying to use my vast humor to play a pun on
something that I liked when I was a child. Can't think of anything though.
I'm sure I'll think of something...

MAN - I watched Swingers last night. Didn't realize how much I missed that
movie. It's SO good for what it costs and how it played out production
wise. Here's Jon Favrau, Vince Vaughn, and Ron Livingston broke on their
asses and trying to crack into the biz. Jon writes up this stellar
screenplay and gets in cahoots with one of his friends who's a producer.
She gets Doug Liman into it, just as an advisor. then he gets so caught
into it that he wants to direct it. for like 5 or 6 months, they build up
funding. the shoot for a couple of months and then get it out to the
people. they reached more success through dvd than theatrical rec. the
story of how this movie got made amazes me, as you can see. vince and jon
rock the scenes and ron livingston still plays one of the better straight
men in my opinion (next to steve corral and will farrell). ["Straight Man"
is the character that plays up the "normal" person. he's the guy that is
the everyman and isn't outlandish with his demeanor. past "straight men"
are Felix Unger, mr. drummond, and daddy warbucks.]

rockin da casbah!

I read the news today, oh boy....

i'm seriously running out of beatles songs to name my posts after. i may
start repeating....my apologies.

AH - if you look at the paper today as opposed to one of my prior posts -
netflix is sueing blockbuster for using the same methods of dvd rental.
frickin coincidence city man! maybe someone from netflix is a frequent
flyer of randumb 101 and said, "wait just a gosh darn minute! blockbuster
IS rippin us off!" and again, i'll say that i'm waiting for my comp check
in the mail from netflix. holla!

4 days later from starting a screenplay at 11:30 pm on friday night (after
the coldplay concert which was of less energy than vegas version). i am 64
pages deep and probably only 60 percent done. what sucks is that i know i
have to cut out so much crap, that i don't even know if i'll still have a
full movie in my hands after editing. however, i must say, this screenplay
is taking the life out of me. the only rest that i see throughout my day
(for the past week) has been sleep itself and my morning commute with my
cousin. i just sit there and try to not think of anything. its very
difficult though.

i'm covering for 2 people at work this week. one is out on operation and
the other is nursing a cold. [which i've always thought to have sounded
wierd. in essence of "nursing" a cold, doesn't that mean that you're
taking care of the cold like you want to make the cold to be stronger?? ]
so i'm swamped at the dayjob. right when i get outta here, i write on the
train. once i'm home, i either eat or write. this whole month is asian
american heritage month, which means i have footage to tape every week this
month. thing is, i NEED to finish this screenplay by a deadline of april
17th. i'm mentally and physically tired.

i have no time to watch movies. my netflix is not paying off this month.
SEE - i add on this extra project of a screenplay, and i'm extremely wiped
out. what i hate the most out of it - it doesn't seem real. to me - i
feel like everyone around me thinks this is childplay. like i'm not
serious or it's a daydream with no immediate result to it. i guess it
sucks when everyone in the world wants to be in the movies - but who's
really doing anything about it?

editing is the key to my documentary, screenplay, and in a
way.....life......

"you're so deep that i want to laugh in your face."

the way things are going - they're gonna crucify me!

SO - i have a mission this weekend, which i'm pretty confident about but
not sure if i, personally, can pull it off. it's gonna take dire
determination, imagination, and no sleep. i am presenting to myself a
challenge of my writing skills. THUS - this weekend i will bust out a
screenplay. i've been brainstorming and have characters drawn out, but
haven't written anything solid yet. so, this weekend, i will begin this
friday night and finish by sunday a draft of a screenplay. i'm destined to
write out approximately 120 pages of goodness. it's a murder mystery with
a refrain in the end. this has been lodged up in my head for awhile so i
feel like the beginning part shouldn't be difficult to get through.
however, i think the ending will be the bitch of me. i'll keep ya posted
on this one....

i'm gonna enter it into a competition that has a deadline of april 17th.
wish me luck!

tonight - coldplay concert at the united center. should be fun cause they
had a great concert in vegas. hopefully it'll be close to the same energy
if not better.

i've been on hiatus lately cause time is so crucial. i haven't even had
time to watch any good movies lately. errrrr! i want to see v for
vendetta but i have this screenplay thingy, then the asian american film
festival is in town, and coldplay tonight, etc., etc., etc.

randumb commentary: alright, so i wasn't a coldplay fan to begin with, but
their concert was very cool, so i started to dig'em. i'm not like a #1 fan
or something. i actually like bands like radiohead, white stripes, and the
beatles. i'm pretty ecclectic and can listen to anything. i know how to
appreciate things for what they're worth and can see how or why other
people might like things. SO - don't hate on me or gimmie lip for going to
a coldplay concert if you don't dig their sounds. i dig'em and they put up
a good live show - end story.

it's gettin warmer in chicago! WOO HOO!!!!

junk

i just want to say how much netflix rocks. i only signed up a month ago,
but it really does save me moola. i use to go to blockbuster at least
twice a month and rent at least 2 movies, which would add up to 10 bucks a
visit - thus 20 bucks a month. With netflix, 20 bucks a month gets you 2
movies for like 3 times a month and the bonus is no late fees whatsoever!
there's no late fees at blockbuster, but if you don't return it in a week
after the due date, you have to buy it.

i know, i know....blockbuster has this netflix thingy too, where you can go
online and do it up just like netflix. but why go with the dopleganger
when you can go with the original? and i use to think the whole mailing
thing would be a nuissance - no dice. its totally cool and small enough to
fit in our mailbox. works well.

and now i await my plug check from netflix. haha!

moving randumbly.....

i'm having like a day 2 hangover. i wasn't even plastered on saturday
night, but i guess its the way drinks are made and how many brain cells i
kill off, but i'm still minorly hurt here. it's just a headache that won't
go away. NO - it's not a migrain or "a tumor" (circa Kindergarden Cop,
where boys have penises and girls have vaginas). they say hangovers are
usually products of dehydration, but i've been drinking gallons of water
for the past 2 days. still a little hurt here. it'll pass....

ncaa brackett - you're all screwed!

baby's in black

you know how you can tell when you're starting to feel old? when the joke
"Take my wife please!" begins to be funny. some 16 yr. old kid could
understand why it would be funny, but for some reason, in my older age, I
actually laughed out loud when i heard it (recently re-watching Goodfellas
for a record 187th time). I use to watch Goodfellas religiously during
college - especially my 2nd year. I didn't have classes on fridays, so i
appointed every friday as Goodfellas friday. I must've worn that tape out
cause i watched it so many damn times. it was awesome. then, i stopped
watching it for a good while. last night, i found it "On Demand" and i was
eating, so i figure i didn't have to pay too much attention to it while i
was munching. however, i couldn't take my eyes off the television once it
got on. it was like a rebirth. that movie's so frickin awesome! STILL MY
FAVORITE MOVIE! i need to get away from watching American Beauty for
awhile. Use to be my 2nd or 3rd fav movie - now it's starting to drop in
my personal list. sorta getting beat by tupac resurrection. i swear it's
a frickin good movie and i'm not big on tupac. no joke man...no joke.

ugh...back to work.

gotta git'ya into my life, somehow someway!!

i just realized how much i miss watching conan o'brien. i saw that he's
coming to chicago in may to do some tapings. WOO HOO!! i'm gonna try my
damndest to get tickets. i saw conan live about 4 times during college.
one of my goals in life at one time was to write for conan, but dunno how
far fetched that is now. less we forget that nothing is ever too far
fetched - especially if you're trying to pursue a dream where only a
minimal amount of stars shine bright enough for all to see.

sometimes i think i write too metaphorically. sorry....just gotta try to
catch what i'm saying. sorta like my sense of humor - just gotta catch the
joke. and yes - i do push bad jokes sometimes. but who the f*ck cares -
you never know a bad joke until you try it. someone's gotta give you a
sympathy laugh.

i've lived in chicago for almost 5 years now. (well, technically i'm in
evanston now....so, i've been in chicago for 4 years, and IL for 5 years.)
i've moved around from house to house every year till this past year, when
i moved into a condo with 3 other cousins. this will be the longest i've
stayed in one spot since i lived at home with my parents and that's about 7
years ago. crazy how where you hang your hat can change so many times....

a mezzo mezzo day.

it's gettin betta all the time!!

this is something that i didn't understand till later on in life. i was
part of a fraternity and when i was an undergrad whenever I met alumni, i
did my best to make them my friend. i wanted there to be a sense of truth
behind the word "brotherhood" and i really did make an effort to get to
know this dude that i'm associated with through an organization. however,
the alumnus that i was trying to get to know always seemed too busy and it
was always difficult for him to come around. now - definitely
understandable that there are "real world, out of college" things going on
and then there are "college, i'm getting wasted tonight" things going on -
so those are the different spectrums on the board. but i never understood
why they couldn't do little things every now and then - maybe stop by 2
times a month or give a call to an undergrad to see how things are going.
HOWEVER, now that i'm an adult (or pretend to be), i can see how it gets
difficult to do those little things. here i am, trying to balance these
things on a normal basis: a 40 hour per week job, a total commute time of
2 hours a day, keeping in shape by running at least 2 or 3 times a week
(which is approx. 2 hours a gym visit), my documentary filmmaking career is
another job within itself (i email, do massive research, film gigs, write a
crap load of stuff up, read, read, and read; do marketing, networking, and
trying to make contacts anywhere i can), and to add to this whole shabang,
i need to make room for my girlfriend. Whew - try saying this whole list
under one minute. that's how i feel most of the time.

to add on to the beginning of my topic, i can see how i couldn't or maybe
might not even want to try to relate to some 18 year old kid who's worried
about how to grow funds for rush. BUT for my AKL homies - i feel your pain
brothas. you young ones - just keep on keeping on cause even though that
old alumnus f*cker won't hear me out, just keep doin your own shiet cause
in your world, grabbing your balls and doing stuff is the best example you
can set for everyone else. that's what i did and by learning my place in
the organization, things ran well for me.

NOW, up to date and in relation to today - i may be slacking in the
friendship department. it's hard. it really is. i wish i could keep up
with friends at all times and make sure everyone is always okay. but i
don't have enough time during my days. i don't have time for me sometimes
and when i push myself further to be a better person by helping others - i
really do forget to help myself. it could sound stupid but if you know me,
you could probably see me doing this. i really do try to accommodate to
everyone as much as possible and sometimes i become a d*ck because i need
to have everyone feel alright.

alright...i don't feel like writing this anymore. this is complaining that
i wouldn't want to hear from anyone...so, why should i do this to ya'll,
when i don't even wanna hear it. werd.....

savoy truffle!

you know what i like witnessing when the observee is non-suspecting?
innocence. its so cool to see someone that is important or strong and to
assume that this person is always proper, especially in a work place
environment - but then to see them outside of that persona without them
knowing it. well ....that's just sincere and it makes you appreciate that
person on a different level. BUT this could just be me and taking in the
breath of life to another extent. sometimes writing gets difficult when
you want to create this complex character because there are "rules" to
sticking with the humanity and flaw of a character. its a sense of
consistancy because audience members are more observant than what writers
give them credit for. rule of thumb for writers: write for smart people,
but then again, write to someone that has never heard of it before.
comprende vou? you want to break down a story but don't dumb it down for
people. SO going back to this character thing, and relating it to real
people - how can i be consistant when in the world we live in, people can
change in a minute. HOWEVER, just to write outloud (instead of "think
outloud"), i guess maybe the character's consistent characteristic is to
always change. (i'm trying to be cleaver by always being inconsistant on
spelling 'consistent.') ANYHOO - what initiated this thought was how i
came across the doodlings of someone at work. she's a contract specialist
and when i was going through her files, i saw this butterfly doodle snuck
in along with red penned comments of important legalized terminology. it's
like all this important stuff, and then this butterfly doodle. for the
type of person she is, you wouldn't suspect it. it has a sense of
innocence in it. that all these hardworking older folks that we can easily
get irritated with on a daily basis was at one time a young kipper that
touched imagination in their unharmed mind. unharmed by what society has
influenced them to accept as right or wrong. unharmed by bad experiences
that they may always accept to be "wrong situations," but when in fact it
could have been a one time or two time fluke. NOT that i'm saying people
cannot assume, but again i will reiterate - this might just be me. my
blog, my thoughts, my words.

moving along - were you part of a fan club? do they even do that anymore?
like the kirk cameron fan club? i guess there are more internet savvy kids
out there that just join listservs about their favorite person. what fun
is that? i would've joined the punky brewster fan club and seen how she
suffered the problems of big boobs and what she did to overcome the jugs.

NCAA!! Are y'all about the MADNESS?!?! I am and tonight I will continue
to get my fix...

p.s. i am now having a hard time thinking of beatles song titles as my
post up titles from the top of my head. i'm sure i'm missing a lot, but
MAN....this is rough...