mental drain

this one time in my life i was all about accommodating to the masses as
much as possible. i was "the planner" - the guy that got people together
to do things like have dinner, go bowling, watch movies, or just hang out.
emails, phone calls, and reminders would go out and i enjoyed it. knowing
that people would be laughing and having a good time was always fun because
i was still part of it. then i was also this "leader" - the one that
ordered the food and dealt with the collection of money at the end of the
meal. the guy that had to do a headcount and make sure reservations didn't
fall through the cracks cause someone was gonna be late. the guy that
bought the movie tickets in advance cause he knew it would get sold out if
everyone waited on it.

and then i became tired.

it became nerve wrecking, stressful, and turned into extra work. then
people started to take you for granted - telling you to plan this or that
event. saying "what are you gonna plan for my birthday?" or "shouldn't you
send out an email about the movie?" it turned into a hassle and lost the
luster of just getting friends together.

so i stopped.

know what happen? no one did anything. no one wanted to take the time and
effort that i once endured to get everyone together. so - people lost
interest. people didn't even stop to see what happen. they just went
about their personal lives and would rather care about their own good being
than to create a plan for everyone to jump into.

and now, as selfish and conceded as it may seem, i wish there were someone
that acted like me. i wish someone would take the time and effort to make
plans for everyone to hang out. i do it every once and awhile, but now,
since it lost the regularity and spontaneity, things need to be planned
like 2 weeks in advance instead of happing in a couple of days. we get
older and friends seem not to care or if you don't put out any effort, they
look over what you've done in the past to compensate for it.

and then i became tired again.....