Randumb 101 In Session

i am an unstoppable force

2009-07-29T12:12:00.001-07:00

i'm an unstoppable force that will succeed in all i do. you can't stop me because i am full of confidence that you dream of. you only want to be like me and when you finally surmount all the strength you have to equal me now, i have already passed you in the future. i could care less of what anyone else thinks about my actions, as they shouldn't care as to my opinion of their own. everything in my life begins when i say it does and it stops when i want it to. no one else controls my faith except for my mind, heart, and body. i make dreams come true and make nightmares into after school specials. taking a walk through my mind is like riding a roller coaster through a tripped out land with clowns under dark clouds. seeing through my eyes is like viewing through a magnifying glass that displays subtitles under all surroundings and beings. i've beaten the war of self and bring determination to the table.

i don't believe in them, i don't believe in you, i don't believe in the beatles, i just believe in me.

Chicago is a Fatty Mecca - No Way!

2009-07-29T12:09:00.003-07:00

[DISCLAIMER: The pseudo articles written on this blog-ulation are inherently made-up and suited to feed into the comedic dome of your noggin. Either you think it's funny or it's not but whichever way your cookie crumbles, just remember most of my facts are made-up. Werd.]

Fatty McFatty's Foody List of Fatty Cities has confirmed that Chicago, IL is the mecca of obesity in America. After more studies from scientists with expensive degrees have verified, Chicago habitually takes already concocted foods and adds more calories, fat, and bad things to it. Example 1 is the drunken food favorite - pizza. Whereas the thinly crusted east coast delicacy was formulated and made into an easy, walk-as-you-eat dynamo, the Windy City took it one notch up and made it chunky. Now, Chicago-style pizza is about 10 layers of a thin crust pizza with more bread, cheese, and inside goodness. Instead of downing 2 to 3 slices of thin crust, a person just needs one slice of deep dish pizza to fall into comatose status. Example 2 is the ball park signature must have - the hot dog. When at one time, a man named Mr. Nathan created the solid style of the basic wiener and bun and even created a contest to see how many people can down it in 12 minutes, Chicago (again) takes it a notch up and inserts a sandwich spread on top of it. The big no no for Chicago-style hot dogs is the addition of ketchup. In a sarcastic tone of false fact, a Chicagoan stated, "No ketchup helps keep off that 2 to 3 calories that we just don't need." What he/she failed to acknowledge was that most ketchups have at least 20 calories to it. However, we will note that the Chicago-style hot dog does involve the most vegetable collection compared to most other bar foods. Imagine that....more than onion rings.

Please stay tuned for our next opinionated article when we focus on Fatty McFatty's Foody List of What Else Can We Deep Fry??

Alan Thicke is Nostradamus

2009-07-29T12:09:00.001-07:00

For years now, NATO has been in a grudge match against the Taliban in Afghanistan. Since before the inception of our new Commander-In-Chief, troops have been continuing this battle to overthrow their evil regime and wicked ways. A statement of political and religious viewpoints turn black and white lines grey into moralistic values on how a society should be.

Years ago, on November 3rd of 1978, the US NBC network introduced this travesty of a story regarding 2 orphaned African-American boys left by their mother to a wealthy, single Caucasian man. Confusion and grudge put the two young gentlemen into a battle, not only internally but externally against this lavish lifestyle that no doubt questioned their street cred. Sometimes, the only person they could go to was a red-headed housekeeper who knew how to "keep it real." They called this Different Strokes.

The following year, on August 24th of 1979, the US NBC network introduced another heart aching issue that spoke of over privileged young women left to lead a life of their own. With parents who were either too busy, too rich, or not caring, these young girls were placed in a boarding school to go through pubescent years only to seek guidance in this same red-headed housekeeper. This was named the Facts of Life.

Who knew then that the wisdom of acknowledging that the world doesn't move to the beat of just one drum, but to a bunch of nations would be important words needed today. How also did we know that by taking the good and the bad together, as one, we'd have the facts of life. The facts of life?!?! There was only one man behind the strength of this knowledge back then and HE IS ALAN THICKE.

Alan Thicke was a seer of future issues metaphorically contrived in his brain as situational comedies. As the author of these theme songs, he wrote down lyrics of what came to him naturally and to the optimism of continuing to dream and shine. There are many dark days that arrive from clouds of explosion in Afghanistan, but to those people, no matter what they got, maybe not a lot, they just gotta say, "So what?" They'll have theirs, we'll have ours, and even me personally, will have mine. And together, all of this - this good vs. bad, religious viewpoints, and political standstills - we'll be fine!

And lastly, as our own troops may think that the world isn't living up to their dreams, they can learn that this whole thing is just the facts of life. The facts of NATO, the facts of Bush, and the facts of Barack. It takes a lot to get it right, when you're learning the facts of strife. The facts of strife. Learning the facts of strife.

This blog is for you Jason Sever. I knew you were the true seer....

mind vomit

2009-06-22T12:56:00.001-07:00

I'm sick of sitting here and wishing that I were paid to come up with jokes. I'm reading for the ba-jillionth time John Vorhaus's The Comic Toolbox. There's a chapter in there that says something to the matter that we need to set-up these mini-celebrations in order to succeed. In other words, the only way to accomplish a screenplay, sketch, or even a joke is to at least get one word down on paper. It just has to start. Editing and cleaning it up or making it funnier can all come later. Right now, it's a matter of doing instead of waiting, wishing, or thinking.

My problem isn't this. I do this all the time in the form of freewrite, blogging, emailing to myself, and yes, chipping away at my screenwriting and sketch comedy. What my problem is, is time! I feel like I never have time and when I do have time, there's always something else that is priority. Like family obligations, girlfriend obligations, or "inspiration" obligations (these are things that I should do in order to get inspired to write, i.e. go to the movies, watch a play, or act crazy around friends). With my dayjob, time to eat, time to sleep, and just time to be in silence for at least a half hour in order to keep my sanity - I have no time to fine tune what I've written.

And now that I'm writing this, I realize that really this is my complaining about not finishing something. Instead of starting something new, how come I'm not going back to the same thing? How come I'm not chipping away at the screenplay or sketch comedy till it's done? My other problem is that I'm an idea freak of nature. I sit and observe, then something happens when I start churning these thoughts into an idea. The idea isn't fully developed, but it's a step in the right direction. It has good premise, good promise, and good intentions in being something great.

Yet again - as I'm writing this, I'm realizing...why the hell aren't you finishing that thought up?! OR even further more - the time you took to write this, why didn't you just go back to something you've already written and made it better??

You know what - I'm just insane and need my mind to vomit out this jargon before I get my shiet straight. Is it nap time yet?

leaving 2 hours earlier

2009-06-19T13:08:00.001-07:00

what is with the last two hours of work that kills me?! especially on Friday, especially when it's nice outside, especially when i just want to leave so badly! let's play with this, shall we? let's say i did leave early - what would i do? probably take the train home, text my girlfriend and rub in the fact that i've left early, then when i get to my train station begin to walk home. i'd probably stop at the grocery store to pick up something that we could eat for dinner and probably a bottle of vino. on the way home, i'd probably get harassed by a bunch of kids who are now out of school and have nothing better to do than to loiter waiting for good working pedestrians to be loud around. i'd get annoyed in trying to ignore them and finally get inside the house. by the weather today, it's probably really humid inside the house and i'd open up the window for some fresh air. we have new neighbors that are right across from our kitchen window. i don't think they work, so they'd probably be loud and make it uncomfortable for me to just relax and watch t.v. i'd go into our computer room, after pouring a glass of wine, and start doing my usual facebook and email shinanigans. however, since my "second" job is media oriented, i'd probably start getting into doing a little bit of work by updating websites and trying to write. most likely, i'll re-read what i've written, hate the way it sounds, hit delete or not save it. then 10 minutes later after surfing on the web, will finally think of a new way to make that thing i've written sound better to only realize that i'd have to start all over again. in pissy mood now, i think this would finally fill the extra 2 hours that i would have partaken if i were to leave right now. i guess lounging around work and writing on my blog is sufficient enough instead. i guess....

stirring up that hot pot

2009-05-28T12:44:00.000-07:00

this is literally going to feed into my taste buds. i wish i had a distinct opinion about food. since i was a child, i've been fairly open to different kinds of food. I'd like to believe that it stems from my filipino background. However, as I've matured and even grown accustomed to new food flavors, I must say that I'm still indifferent from different degrees of awesome. My opinion is either - I like it or I don't and most times, I do. Even when others may not like it, I probably add something like ketchup or hot sauce, and find reason to still finish it up. To some this may be great in terms of planning food for a party cause then anything works but to myself, or yes some others, distinct opinion of foods sometimes makes one come off as more worldly. Yes - this worldly attitude can be delivered and displayed in a snobbish format, but that strength in knowing precisely what makes a certain food good or bad is super cool man. It's like debonair. Like James Bond and 'ish. Like most other arts, food creation is the mixture of textures, flavors, colors, and preparation. There's a hidden strategy to it, which is why Iron Chef rocks. I don't think I'll be going to culinary school anytime soon, but this is something I'd like to work on as I get older.

This includes wine! Not all of it is suppose to taste the same!

Writing thru it!

2009-05-20T08:26:00.000-07:00

I think it's necessary to start scratching a particular itch I have. I always have these random arse ideas of putting a show up on stage, but with so many projects on my plate, I rarely find time to hide and write. I also feel that sometimes I need to upkeep with friends and family. Haven't been very good with friends (which I always feel guilty for and hate knowing this) but family is always close to me (I'm just bad at uploading digital pics that I take). With certain projects winding down and me trying to get my writing routine back into a higher platform, I think it's time to start jiving on a sketch comedy show. Crazy, I know, I know! But no insanity in the world makes for a bunch of robots.

What will my show be about? I have no clue....I've been trying to think of a common theme amongst the sketches that I've written, but find nothing. I'm also having an interesting time with writing up new sketches. My mind hasn't thought of sketch since recently due to an inquiry from a student doing a short film. I wrote a sketch for him and wrote the basics of it within a day, then went through a rewrite and came up with an above average sketch. Can I continue that wave of sketch writing? I'd like to, but I'm in desperate need of a seed of an idea to grow upon.

I hate this! It's not writer's block it's more like internal perfection for what may or may not be great. Then I always think of "what do you want to say to the world?" Because in gist, these sketches/screenplays/essays/etc.etc. are really my voice in trying to get a message across. So - what the hell do I want to say??? I'm not sure actually....this wishy washy feeling is killing me.

A couple of weeks ago, I listened to a Creative Screenwriter's podcast of Charlie Kauffman (Eternal Sunshine, Being John Malkovich, etc.) and the dude asked him what he did in preparation of writing (or maybe it was a question of writer's block or rewriting) - anyhoo, Kauffman said that he did a lot of sitting around and thinking before writing. Maybe this is what I'm doing....or at least I'd like to believe....

my bad, blogger

2009-05-19T08:07:00.000-07:00

I must begin to write on this thing on a more consistent basis. What's amazing to me is that I'm still writing, but I'm writing in my notebook of randomocity and in my screenplay notebook and thru creative emails. My mind tells me to keep writing and I advise other writers to "keep writing!" but I get lazy, I get restless, and make excuses. Writers must remember that writing is an exercise that must be upkept or else we fall victim to losing the power behind words. I love writing and find it to really be my lifelong passion. Sometimes I feel like I should apologize to it for letting it lie dormant or ignoring it or cheating on it with other artforms, BUT small entries like this can keep me more sane. I have to remember this! This post is an exercise of what should be the beginning of more. 2 words: honesty and yes.

what a day for a daybreak

2008-12-15T14:03:00.000-08:00

it's frigid outside. and i'm not talking "ooh, that's cold", i'm talkin "dang....the balls just headed up north!"

christmas is around the corner and i haven't completed the severe task of purchasing christmas presents. i'm usually pretty good with this in past years, but for some reason this year has been difficult. don't get me wrong - the internet makes it so frickin easy for any fat man to sit on his couch, surf the web and buy stuff online. but i think for me, it's been the hunt to find the "right" present. unlike most "dudes," i put an overwhelming amount of thought into my present picking. i think this saves on cost for me, because if you think about it - me buying a person that loves to cook a brand new, state of the art cuisinart spatula (for example), would probably be better than some expensive macy's hand towels or lovey dovey flower smelling hand soap. ya catch my thinking? it really is the thought that counts. not the thought of me thinking of just giving you a present, but the thought of me actually putting thought into what i should be giving you.

it shows that i actually do 'know' you and i actually give a daym about what you think is cool. and that, my friends, is what's cool during christmas. it's a good time to test who actually knows you, vs. who just wants to be close to you for when you win the lotto.

tangent - when did it become professional unacceptable to randomly sing during work? i thought offices always liked when employees kept a positive attitude and displayed good energy. playing music and random singing has always been an emotionally associated action. i can't really sing well, but to the people that really know me - i'm like this jukebox that can stay on random play for hours. i just let it out. it's funny cause it's completely random. my head is always full of songs throughout the day and sometimes, i just wanna sing. my girlfriend can vouche for the entertainment that i provide through the bathroom door during showers. there's no theme, but i wish i knew more words to more songs. yeah, yeah - i'm guilty of being that guy that only knows the refrain/chorus to songs. but amazingly, if i'm on top of my game, i can pinpoint song names and the person/band that sings in within two or three notes into the song. i swear this! just something i picked up along the way.

okay....i'm done killing time now.

unload mental stability

2008-11-09T21:21:00.001-08:00

i hate late sunday nights. maybe because work doesn't justify the creativity that urges out of my mind. from that, i don't have the necessary practice of my true love of an art. 'creative writing' is beautiful. not to sound like a mr. sensitive type, but it's very endearing and completely moving to take words (of any language) and move them into positions that can conjure up the feelings of man. with the mighty pen and marks of truth, i can make people cry, laugh, and simply think. however, my occupation doesn't take advantage of that want that i have to unload that truth. everything i write i work is uniform, justified, and support by cold facts where no room for imagination can play. i've always thought writing as an art was like answering an open ended question that can only be graded as pass or fail with the teaching being the audience member who reads. however, my job has taught me that writing can also be a mathematical equation where there is a right and a wrong that is formed by the correct terminology inserted in the correct spots otherwise the incorrect positioning can create the serious consequences when trying to pass as true. heavy thought - i know, but that absence of creativity and only practicing the mathematical equation makes for complete boredom. yeah - it's my personal opinion, but i dig it.

so sunday nights make me ponder this as i need to retreat to bed early enough to carry on the life of an "adult." can you believe that being an "adult" can be stereotypical? it's true. being an adult means drinking coffee in the morning, dressing in "work clothes" (otherwise known as 'business' or 'business casual' attire - gimmie a break....), speaking in proper etiquette terminology with words that contain more than 2 syllables, asking people "how's it going?" and answering back with "fine" without even thinking it, and continuing that cliche saying of this "grind" to "pay the bills" and making "another day another dollar" - BLA! that's an adult!

but then again, sometimes i do like being the 'adult' rather than being a kid or a "teenager." YES - did think i wouldn't speak of the other end of the spectrum by saying that being a 'teenager' can be stereotyped as well? well it can and it's actually of innocent magnitude. as an adult, we tend to forget how that teenager that we once were was innocent meaning he/she didn't know better. although very guilty of bad things, it's always just a trying time to figure out 'what the fuck is going on?' or in their language - "wtf?" so being a teenager means not having a true grasp of your feelings and having these urges that need to be embellished and spoken out, the need to either fit in or to completely stay away from everyone, the misunderstanding of parental units or authoritative figures and the cool of rebelling!, and also just the lingo to whatever is hip. the one thing that i miss about being a teenager the most is being indulged in music ALL the time. not that i can't do it now, but it actually does take time to pick up new sounds and listen to new bands or try to find new music. i just don't have the time, which is another thing that can get chaulked up under being an 'adult.'

don't forget that these are stereotypes of these age affiliated words. anyone can be anything and act in anyway, but this is how society sees these people. if that person doesn't act correct to their age, then people always have to demeanor their true opinion of the person according to the situation at hand.

there's your long awaited, new random lesson....

good golly miss molly

2008-04-28T09:39:00.001-07:00

You know I couldn't stay away for a whole year!! I apologize to the
blogger-stalker nation for not dropping current knowledge of my mind leaks.
It's been a busy bee couple of months and freedom felt like a non-existant
oasis. However - I've finally got a handle of the different foods on my
plate to be able to now share some thoughts that have been tickling my mind
of recent. I hope you enjoy reading forward and as an incentive bonus,
I'll also be sharing a bit of knowledge regarding an on-line film
competition that my documentary is part of. WOOOO HOOOO!!!

random go:

-would it be wierd if "a guy" said to another "guy" in the bathroom, while
releasing toxins at the urinals - "wow man - i smell some good poopin. you
smell that?" I think we would relinquish any form of taboo or awkward
feeling if we finally admitted that our bodies release smelly gases and
human body waste. I mean - let's grow up for a second! - I try to stay
away from the blue humor, but isn't it natural that we do these things??
So why can't we talk about it? Same thing about sex, but that's for
another blog post.

-i've been reading up on this thing called "metaverse." The term is
basically the upcoming digitized universe where interaction takes place
online through created avatars and digitzed versions of people. Can we
make it anymore easier for our children to not interact with real life?!?!
And we complain about how we've become a heavier nation! It's because of
things like this that kids don't know how to talk in front of people, get
shy, sit in front of computer screens all day, ruin their eyes, and get
their wrist bones all sorts of hurtin. Don't get me wrong - I do see the
upside to ideas like this and do applaud how technology just advanced again
5 seconds ago and just did it again right now (and again, right now). But
I think we need to control how things like this get exposed and/or make it
less easy for younger generations to advance at a quicker pace. I've
always felt that the better workers in society are the ones that have
actually gotten their hands dirty and gone through the nity grity
experience that was needed to get conquered for advancement.

Now that i've gotten your fists pumping with social power and bringing back
the old school, i'm going to hurt your heart by saying that this metaverse
is pretty strong. it may be coming sooner than people think and i do
advice on preparation. therefore - start by drawing a picture of yourself
and only communicate to other people by using it like a puppet. it will be
one step closer to how it may be in 10 more years.

-i'm sore from moving yesterday. that's all - i'm just hurt.

be well, my kiddies! and tell your friends that they're the coolest and
tell your family (well - the ones you like) that they rock cause something
people just need to hear that stuff.

i sing the song of random

2008-01-11T07:43:00.001-08:00

ya know - I have not written positive affirmation on this thing as of the
new year. so today's blog posting will be dedicated to quick and quirky
random jive from sir blab-o-lot! enjoy it (in your face!)!

--what's the deal with swiss bank accounts? i think even when i was a kid,
it was a joke on prime time television sitcoms to have a 'swiss bank
account.' is it because since they're neutral on war, that they're money
growth per capita is greater than the now powerful euro? is chocolate
really THAT valuable that if you invest in their bank you not only get
great interest rate, but bonus box of chocolates (even WITH the map of
what's inside the chocolates!)?

-speaking of swiss and chocolate (or even less cliche - speaking of
underware and cigarettes), swiss miss, quick, bosco, ovaltine, or any other
form of chocolate mix drink - what's better - adding water or milk?? i
think it goes by which one you're making - hot chocolate or chocolate milk.
because in retrospect, if you're making chocolate milk with water, then
it's not really chocolate milk, it's chocolate water. and if that's the
case, might as well add DIRT cause that's what it'll taste like!

-speaking of fondue and mrs. field's cookies - i've been addicted to
'instant watching' on my netflix account. god - does anyone else have
this!?!? this is so cool. so the deal here is if you have a netflix
account, not only do you get your dvd's in the mail with no late fees, but
you also can watch films that netflix has uploaded in their superior
databank to watch instantly over the web. if you have great resolution and
a nifty speed on the internet highway, it's game on! (and this is my plug
for netflix - AGAIN! i'm still waiting for compensation!)

-speaking of robots of the future and neo soul music - i want to learn to
speak german. doesn't everyone?! i'm going to learn. that's all.

-speaking of spank me whips and sugar free hot mocha frappacino - tell me
you'll continue this game later on, eh?1

enjoy your day!

to you, and you, and you

2008-01-07T08:15:00.000-08:00

This is a letter of remorse, honesty, and the will to endure what needs to
be done in order to move forward with personal goals.

To whom it may concern-

I can no longer give into feeling unnecessary guilt for not being a better
person to you. My apologies are due for not giving you the such essential
time you need in order to be fulfilled with my presence. However, I want
to gesture reasoning on the behalf of people that get our of comfort zones.
The motives you carry are needs to use social events such as restaurants,
bars, clubs, or overwhelming get togethers as a cover up for not
challenging your intellect.

WAIT - I have no means of insult nor am I trying to degrade you to a class
that seems lower to me. I'm nothing special and my upbringing is far from
elite situations which hopefully keep me down to earth and easy to
understand. Sometimes trying to convey thought and certain ideas needs to
be interwoven with truth. We all know the truth (the REAL truth) hurts.
I've felt it and I hope you swallow this with a spoonful of sugar.

Continuing on - my personal goal is to get into a world that is far from my
own knowledge of books, the internet, and bonus coverage on dvd's. I can
only get so near to know that there's no business like showbusiness but
where I am right now still takes time and work. Time which takes me out of
where I was before. Dwelved into a lifestyle of working an 8 to 5 job,
waiting for the weekend, then partying it up to only realize these things:
1. complaints and wishes on making movies 2. eating unhealthy and
staying lazy to complain again on not getting chicks and 3. not wanting to
go back to a job that I despise but am stuck because I don't want to have
to look for a new job. It's easy to stay this way because it doesn't take
work, but the thing that became irritable and completely, utterly annoying
was the word 'complain.'

You cannot complain if you're not trying! If you're not trying, then
you're bringing this upon yourself. Whatever you're complaining about - if
the cause came from something you didn't try to improve on, then how are
you entitled to complain? But our society is built on complaints. If you
think about, laws are made, things are created, objects are invented by the
terms of becoming better and in order to know what's better, you need to
know what's wrong. Complaints equal 'what's wrong?'

To not get too far from the root of this letter, improvement takes time.
Time is so limited in our lives when you take the means to improve on so
many different aspects of your life. Let's go back to the list and see how
my time expired. 1. complaints and wishes on making movies turned into
time to tape interviews, watch footage, and edit, edit, edit, and on yeah -
edit. If something doesn't look right, back to the editing board. If a
story isn't understood, especially in a documentary, back to the editing
board. If you're trying to make a movie better, back to the editing board.
Understood. 2. eating healthy and being lazy to complain about ladies
turned into exercising, eating right, and taking the time to work-out.
This turned into getting dates and getting into a relationship. A
relationship where I want (the key word is 'want') to be the best boyfriend
I can be. Working out and relationship upkeep equals more time. and 3.
not wanting to go back to work that I dislike has turned into me speaking
up at work and getting into a position that I do like. However, it's a
higher up position which entails more responsibility, more time commitment,
and thankfully, more money.

Now in retrospect, it looks like things are good - right? These are good
things that I've turned around for myself. Awesome! All the time and
energy that I've put into doing what I wanted to make better and get rid of
the word 'complaint.' But what's this - oh, oh.....where did everyone go?
All the people that I went to the bars with, ate at restaurants with, and
drank beers with - they seemed to have disappeared. And what's this even
more? I'm totally out of the loop that it feels like friends are enemies
because I didn't have time for them. When they needed to complain to
someone about something that they didn't act on, I wasn't there to tell
them what they wouldn't be doing because it sounded good to them. And now
you're reading an apology letter because I wasn't being a better person.

Can you tell me if I really did something wrong? When I send you emails on
trying to get together for events that I CAN make, do you ignore it and say
under your breath that I'm not worth it? Do you feel that in order to be
MY friend, you have to work on MY time and the effort isn't mutual? Well -
then I guess I am guilty.

So to whom it may concern - I apologize. I'm no better after writing this
letter to a blog that people never read, but to know that I complained.....
well, you know how that story goes.

And to the people that do read - thank you for listening. I want no
sympathy. Just carry on as you normally do. This is all I ask.

Sincerely,
Creative Mind Spill

2007-11-28T21:11:00.000-08:00

wow - i haven't written in here since forever and a day. "so, what's new?" he says. well - the grass ain't green and the leaves are falling, so winter is coming. Chicago is cold and when i say cold, I mean testicles arise! it's true and guys shouldn't be ashamed to share this fact.

i had a private screening of my documentary film last week and i'm still sorta clouded in the head about it. it was good and bad at once. good - in the sense that i got to see a flick i made on the big screen. bad - in the sense that 1. weather was quite crap-alicious so people bailed from their RSVP 2. i could hear in mind what people were thinking when i was watching it (didn't feel right) and 3. i wished i had refined my art project a little bit more.

so - yes, i'm back to the drawing board, but not on clean canvass, rather placement of what was already laid out. just gotta make what i got better. another draft if you will (and if the term is used for beer, i'll have two).

i feel like i can never get used to critique. for me - it always depends on who it's coming from and what the subject matter is. i've always been a writer and ever since being placed in reading level B in 5th grade, i've felt below the standard of excellence. so i've always tried to excel to touch the sky, yet no matter how many times i've had to face peer to peer review, it always depended on who it was coming from and what it was about. i'm not gonna take cooking advice from someone who's never touched a skillet before. and not to say, i'm not gonna take viewer advice from someone who's never made a movie before - but if you're gonna give me feedback, back it up with something concrete within the film. nothing like 'man, this part sucked' or 'i thought this was boring' - without leaving the film aesthetic of why it sucked or why it was boring. i can fix your problem, just gimmie a good reason to.

next - wow - i never thought i'd fall into a situation where i'd find that friends have become more high maintenance as i've gotten older. i'm probably becoming guilty of this myself by concentrating on my film and not being able to hang out as much as i use to. but geez - i go make a film and ask people to come out, then i don't get any love back. ouch...i'm sorry. i didn't know i had to call or email you every week to make sure you were okay. i figure once every two weeks is sorta standard and even upscale as far as 'guy' standards are concerned. and if this doesn't fly, then let it be....i can't take back thoughts that have accumulated by one's self.

i'm tired - i've said this during periods in my life when i've become mentally exhausted. now if people know me well enough, i usually do try my best to flip that frown upside down and show some ass crack for the sake of giggle giggle, tickle, tickle. but with this film taking hold of me, high maintenance friends exhiling me from their lives, and darker days before my eyes....well, i'm tired. maybe out of minute depression, lack of exercise, or maybe not accepting the turn of tides.

changes are happening, my friends. i'm becoming too old to accept, yet i'm the one adding to the phenomenon. people have passed me by and i can't do anything about it.

sidenote - google 'kevin smith's blog.' yeah - the dude who did clerks. his shiet is high-larious! later.

When I grow up....

2007-09-05T07:52:00.001-07:00

I'm in no position to give advice to college kids. I'm not the one that
was determined to come out with a particular degree when I entered my
collegiate career. Instead, I floated into a unforeseen world that opened
up opportunities that I didn't know existed. Yes - I am guilty of falling
into the "asian" path of starting out as a Biology major, but as time
passed and the liberal sense of looking into different areas of education
opened in front of me, I had to see what I loved. I wanted to find myself
in these different books and different classes and different professors.
The search for a voice that was similar to mine was found in film classes.
There was a deeper love found in writers and how they conveyed their
stories. Writing had always been there as my escape from whatever
commotion life brought me and it never talked back. It never told me how I
f*cked up on something. Instead - it was a tool of self realization. It
was my doppelganger telling me the evils of what I was doing. It was my
mother or father holding my hand and telling me everything was alright. It
was my work telling me how stressed out I was and how much crap I take from
my bosses. So when I went to college, I found out that all that writing,
all those journal entries, all those voices in my beat up notebook next to
my bed - they were all in a classroom. Someone else out there felt the
same way as me a long time ago. Someone with stronger words felt the same
way I did. And now I can learn about them. It was amazing. And even
better - since I was a movie junkie - there was a connection. There was a
meaning behind what I loved. It wasn't a daydream anymore. This love
could become a reality of mine and this is what I found in college. So for
all you math, science majors that can only comprehend what is right or
wrong through theory or law - please don't forget to look beyond the
calculations. There's more meaning behind what I'm writing. There's more
meaning behind those numbers you enter into your Texas Instrument. Our
worlds are the same - it's a matter of finding it. But here I am with my
degree and waiting for my calling. And like I said - I'm in no position to
give advice to college kids....

the decks

2007-08-17T14:17:00.001-07:00

you know what seems to be a big project for guys in the 'burbs? working on
their deck. i don't know if its a city requirements to have decks or maybe
a crazy house fashion fad during the 90's, but whenever I hear the elder
gents talk about their plans for the weekend, they always seem to say, "I
gotta work on my deck." What 'work' means in this context can measure
anywhere from re-staining it to decorating it with those lovely fake
plants. And as I'm not a deck owner myself, I tend to wonder why it must
be done so often during the summer season and why it's such an on going
task? How big can your deck be? ("that's what she said...." - bidum
ching) But really - I'm pointing this out to be a suburban man's default
answer to "what's going on this weekend?"

For a city man like myself, I like to say things like, "Well, I'm going to
the strip club again to eat that free pizza because you can't find cheese
like that anywhere else" or "I'm going to the bar with some friends and
stand around watching sports with the music too loud for me to hold any
sort of conversation" or my personal favorite "buying crack and getting my
money from my tricks." JOKES, people - JOKES!

On another note, a new upcoming season of Rutgers football is around the
corner. Keep your eyes on the sports tube, cause I have a feeling you'll
be watching them in a BCS bowl game. Why does this matter to you? Because
more viewer support/fan base means more alumni donations which means more
funding for school which in turns teaches those college rascals better and
thus creates better workers in the world we live in. SO - support Rutgers
man....it's the truth. And if you're thinking, well, what about the other
schools?? NO - RUTGERS I SAID....dang, don't you listen?!

to that dude

2007-08-09T06:18:00.001-07:00

this post is a dedication to all my homeboys that still bring a sense of
chivlry into this world. this is for that guy that gives up a seat on the
train when he sees an old lady come on board and there are no seats
available. this is for the nice guys that digest things for what they are
instead of expect things to meet their standard of need. this is for the
man that is "man" enough to know that he has feeling and says 'i love you'
to his lady - but not for the sap that uses it out of lust or uses it to
cover up his tracks for wrong doing. this is for the homeboy that sits up
straight, does his work, and knows to talk when talked to - instead of
always 'trying' in order to look good. this is for the dude that knows not
to give a flying f*ck about what other people think and does what he wants
to because he wants to - which in turn, makes him knowledgable to look out
for his peeps. in other words - he knows what he wants to do and still has
the social etiquette & accommodating manner to not be selfish. AND this is
for the guy who's just trying to do his own thing without needing to worry
about 'feeling bad.'

let's keep it real y'all! stop playing each other for fools and chill the
f*ck out. look up a funny joke and tell it to someone you don't know.

end.

busy bee

2007-07-26T05:49:00.001-07:00

i moved up on the eating chain @ work which makes me completely tooooooo
busy to write on here. i apologize to any that read my blog looking for
insight on how i think the world evolves, but really doesn't......

i recommend viewing old posts as i was probably more creative then...

Fake talk

2007-07-05T08:30:00.001-07:00

How do people do it??? There are people at work that are in the position
of dealing with clients and other upper level officers that just know how
to put on that commercial smile and say the "right" words. But how? How
can you come into work (unless you enjoy/love your job, then icksnay this
complaint) and always seem to be peppy?

See - I don't characterize myself as the 'average joe' because I'm a little
insane in the head. I'm not mental, rather an "outside of the box" thinker
that says quirky shiet on a speed scale of 3.2 seconds during responses.
However, I will say that upon my observation of the human mind, I have
accumulated the mood and situation at hand to accommodate to the masses.
Thereby I've been able to massage my werds into an appropriate manner where
it can still be funny, yet suitable for who's in the room. HOWEVER - I
can't do the peppy, work jive. I've been trying to work on it with the
cliche work conversations. These topics include: weather, sports (mainly
local teams and works better for older males), current events/news, and any
funny anecdotes that can be incorporated into the work. BLA BLA BLA!!
Yuck - not a fan of the cliche work conversations as it doesn't make the
world turn nor does it make movements into my psyche. Yet it does improve
relations in the work force and it does show that I'm not always sleeping
on the job (....haha - fooled them again!).

Back to the main question at hand - how do people plaster on that smile
everytime someone comes to greet them at work? Like EVERY TIME! Even when
they're getting work! Now unless someone who usually gives me work flips
the script and says, "Hey - no filing today, but here's a jillion dollars I
feel like giving you" than I'll just keep to my usual - "Hey, how's it
going?" Otherwise, I'm working on this aspect of my job.....

Holy geez - you would've thought I had this down by now. I graduated from
college over 6 years ago now.....

4th of July

2007-07-03T11:52:00.001-07:00

AH - it's picnic time again and time to rejoice in this Hacksaw Jim Duggan
patriotic event. Let's see - the 4th of July is our time to celebrate the
Independence of our country. But really - are we that independent?? Have
we really escaped the shackles of a legal system that places taxation on
our well being??

Back then, we signed the Declaration of Independence to stand tall against
the power that is Great Britain. They were all over us - putting taxes on
everything we do and everything we buy. Now - how about our gas or how
about our public transportation or how about our electricity? It isn't
called tax within these terms & conditions that are in fine print at the
bottom of websites or bills when we sign up for it. Rather, it's part of
the whole kit & caboodle as service or fees or surcharge.
Am I just an angry American looking for the next free thing or trying to
get the big discount instead of paying my just fair dues accordingly?? I
don't think so! I'm just a person that doesn't want to pay $40 dollars for
a full tank of gas for a small Maxima.

And don't get me started on a war that's taken up billions and billions of
dollars. Errrr!

It's sad that our world runs on money, yet its so necessary to survive. SO
- come your Independence Day celebration - less not forget what we're
really free of - the Backstreet Boys.

The end.

jokes, and jokes, and jokes

2007-06-28T06:55:00.001-07:00

OKAY - so i get the whole "i'm just talking to myself" at work thing. BUT
"COME ON" (the infamous werds of this blog) don't overuse it to sound like
you're this super busy person! it also sounds irritable - like you're
speaking under your breath about something instead of complaining outloud
like a person with confidence. i like the people that tell jokes to
themselves instead and laugh or smirk out of nowhere. that's more fun.
rather hear more of that in the stuffy cublicles than people speaking under
their breaths....

next observation: alright, so I'm a guy and we do have "guy talk" in which
we let loose with our werds and say excessive language that is not
acceptable to the female party. BUT i have been in the mix of different
ladies that there are some that use language equally if not worse than us
lads do. its pretty simple to talk with a filthy mouth saying if a "chick"
is hot and what you would do to her. (eww...i know, i know....) however -
what the heck is "girl talk"?? i can't imagine it being the same. girls
talking about guys and what they would do to them. that doesn't sound
right. in my mind, girl talk varies from smack talk about another girl
(because from my own observations, ladies are quite chatty and many of you
have admitted guilt to this) to overloading with the mushy talk of love.
the stuff in the middle are areas that metrosexual boys and super
sensitive, artsy nerds can still relate to.

i think i'm gonna start telling one joke a day to make people smile a
little bit more at work. how's that for affirmation?!?!

what's my grade?

2007-06-18T11:00:00.001-07:00

I read this article today and thought it was funny. Thought I'd share as
it shows what lengths kids go to these days to not take a grade over again.
Remarks to follow:

BERLIN (Reuters) - A 16-year-old Berlin student was so worried he would
have to repeat a year at school because of poor marks he convinced two
friends to storm his class and steal the report cards with his bad grades.

"The student probably honestly believed that he could avoid repeating the
school year if he made the report cards disappear," said a spokesman for
local police Monday.

The youth sat quietly at the back of the classroom as the two masked
robbers, aged 14 and 15, burst in and threatened his teacher with a steel
bar if she did not hand over the reports.

After grabbing them, the two tried to flee but dropped the reports as other
students leapt to defend the teacher. The two were arrested close to the
school, and told police their friend had devised the raid because he was
afraid of flunking a year.

Police would not reveal what incentives the youth had offered the pair to
carry out the robbery, adding the youths faced legal consequences once
investigations were over.

REMARKS: can you imagine how this plan was conceived?

flunking kid: "No really - this isn't a joke. So you should come in and
steal the report cards."

friend #1: "have you gone mad? how much did you say you'll pay us for
this??"

friend #2: "and you'll still give us access to watch your extremely hot
sister take showers??"

this has to have happened, but seriously - how dumb can you be to think
that this could work with a "steel bar"??? a steel bar?? in a classroom
with probably 30 students. 30 STUDENTS! you gotta watch your set-ups with
this ploy, my friends.

Is it wasting time or moving forward?

2007-06-11T11:45:00.001-07:00

So you complete college, get your entry level position, stick with it for
about 5 years (this includes the annual raises, promotions, and weekly
"monday blues"), gain some recognition within the company, and then
suddenly feel like you don't want to do it anymore. Not that it's a sudden
thing, but more possibly like a "I wasn't 100% sure" thing. This
especially happens when you submit to accepting any job straight outta
college to gain experience, but experience kept you in somewhat of a
comfort zone for too long. Things mask your initial goal to get the dream
job that you want (a.k.a. Huge Hefner's pesonal assistant, steven
spielburg's set aid/screenplay advisor, or Carmen Electra's lotion
latherer, etc., etc.) such as good benefits, a good retirement plan, and a
slew of paid vacation days. HOWEVER - you weren't 100% sure you wanted to
get into the thick of this job because a.) you had other personal goals in
mind 2.) you'd rather make more bank doing what you like in life and z.)
monotony kills. SO when you think you're gaining experience and moving
forward, you might actually be wasting time. Like digging a hole deeper as
you commit to what you really didn't intend on sticking with for so long.
The saying "...to get my feet wet" has turned into "I've drowned and am now
swimming with the fishes."

We all have aspirations and dreams for when we get outta college and it's
sad that I haven't met too many people that can actually say they love what
they do (...I've met a few, but to my own discretion have made me feel like
this is all they do with their lives, which scares me for not having a
different form of outlet ....this is a whole different story/thought all
together). And yes - I am quite aware that there isn't a perfect job or
circumstances (money, family, etc.) weigh in on why people do what they
need to do. Maybe I'm just an optomist or a 'good times avenger' but I
sometimes feel like it's a waste of time if your heart isn't entirely set
in what you do as a profession.

However - this has it's advantages as you can be more fearless to do more
"out of the box" projects. Yet again - another story all together.

Therefore - are you just wasting time or are you really moving forward??

My downfall will be.....

2007-06-08T11:30:00.001-07:00

....not swallowing corporate/business office humor and having people assume
that I don't have a sense of humor. (Even though I'm proactive with the
jokes and even graduated from the funny school of Second City -
http://www.secondcity.com ).

....not realizing the goodness that's right in front of my face and trying
to look beyond it for something better, when in fact the best was right
under my nose.

....not taking more risks.

....being overwhelmingly funny and laughing at life situations where drama
is what's needed to be played out and focused on instead.

....money, women, and being a "guy."

....age catching up.

....daydreaming instead of doing.

....getting TOO comfortable and just "dealing with it" instead of saying
what I really feel.

....utilizing "complete the sentence" formats too much instead of writing
out more full, vivacious story/essay structured work to exercise my writing
ability.

exercising makes a difference

2007-06-06T08:27:00.001-07:00

it really does make a difference when you get some exercising in your
routine. last night i went to the gym but haven't been there for about 2
weeks. surprisingly, i busted out 4 1/2 miles on the track. it felt
pretty good and i had a good stride going. i haven't run that long since
the Shamrock Shuffle (LaSalle Bank's infamous 8k run). there is definitely
this adrenaline kick rushing through your body after you get worked up like
that. i was eating my dinner standing up cause i was still moving around
afterwards - couldn't stop moving. then sleep - oh man - sleeping was
fan-tab-ulous! I was out cold and woke up refreshed. and today - i'm
still hoping around more so than I was in the beginning of the week
(besides my 5 cups of joe and 2 apples - j/k.....about the apples).

ANYHOO - my eye exercise has been "The Alchemist" by Paulo Cuelho. My
friend recommended it to me, but as I'm reading it I see how spiritual it
is. Not that I have anything against that genre of writing - also being
that I had to buy it from the metaphysical section of Borders. However, I
do seem to question the motives of the people that recommend these books to
others on the fact that they like it so much. Was it in general the fact
that this character overcame such a burden and used his wits and shear
repertoir of goodness to overcome it? OR was it a coincidence that you
(the reader) were going through life troubles and found this book to be
relatable in a metaphoric sense, making it the answer to your problems?
motivational if you will.....

Sometimes I have trouble listening to people's perceptions of books or
movies because I take into consideration what kind of person they are. I
know - its sorta elitist - but doesn't it make sense? you could be in the
worse situation w/work and then you go watch this movie about how a dude
overcomes his problems with his boss while getting the girl in the end
(alla Secret of my Success) AND thus makes it an awesome movie. But you
tell your friend Joe about it and he works in the construction biz and is
like, "What's so good about it?" He couldn't relate, but you gave that
recommendation to him w/out thinking....

Get my gist??

However, I digress because I'm not that sorta guy to be like "I'm not gonna
listen to your opinion cause I'm SO much better than you." Then again - I
am writing this blog post, now aren't I???
hhhhhhmmmmmmm.........

scent of a man

2007-06-01T08:42:00.001-07:00

You know why there was never a movie called "Scent of a Man" in retort to
'Scent of a Woman'? Because the character of Al Pacino's would definitely
be yelling out a "WOO HA!" everytime a man with B.O. passed by.

I'm sorry, but come on guys - let's be real - when we get rancid, we can
surely GET RANCID! It's true - I'm guilty of it, my dad's guilty of it, my
fraternity brothers are definitely guilty of it, even baby cousins are
guilty of it. Let's analyze this, shall we:

Ever since we were little tykes playing with our monster Tonka trucks and
kung fu gripping G.I. Joe (or G.I. John for the cheaper kids), we'd
straight up poop in our pants. How convenient it was! But right then and
there, we stunk up that room boy! And thus it began - the scent of a man.

Then around puberty time, before we found out about body deodorant, we'd
play kickball during gym period. 20 minutes later in Science class, a cute
girl sitting next to you on those 2 person tabled filled classrooms, would
turn her subtle grin into a distasteful cringe. Not a pleasant moment and
you would know that it was your armpits drawing up those green squiggly
lines around your body.

SO then we get to your adult years when you figure you have the B.O. thing
down to a tee and you're pretty much in control with your cleanliness. You
shower, shave, pamper yourself with lotions, deodorants, and sometimes
cologne ("cause anything else would be uncivilized"). However, sometimes
there are those days when you eat at a restaurant that cook right in front
of you and cheese is a prime ingredient. The food scent sticks to you like
glue. There's your source of B.O.

OR sometimes you don't feel too well cause you went out drinkin with the
boys at the local tavern where everybody knows your name and yes, we've all
suffered from the next day "beer farts." Sorry to be crass, but it's an
epidemic that can't be excused. There's your source of B.O.

OR sometimes you get that athletic itch and go play basketball with the
guys at the park first thing in the morning w/out showering or putting on
some deodorant. After a couple of games, heat coming into play, and pores
opening up - you're in your puberty period all over again. Armpits drawing
squiggly lines. There's your source of B.O.

Thus my friends, as men, let's be careful of when we make an under the
breath remark like, "Oh gawd - it reeks in here" because you could be just
as much of a hypocrite when you start stinking up the corporate bathroom
after gallons of Guiness from last night.

The end.

hey, sun-times guy!

2007-05-30T11:31:00.001-07:00

last week, i miraculously made the front of the chicago sun-times on
friday. the article was about a possible hike in train fair and yup, there
i was getting on the train. nothing big. no one interviewed me nor was i
protesting or anything. i was simply getting on the train like i do every
weekday after work. the reason i bring this up is how i became some sort
of celebrity at work that whole morning. everyone was like "awesome! look
at you!" "can i get your autograph?" "is that robert redford next to
you?" (yeah - bob redford was on the front page too about some earth stuff
in chicago.) and then everyone was telling me to get a bunch of copies and
telling me congrats on making a nationally known paper.

and now i shall input my blog's infamous line - "GIMMIE A BREAK!"

first off - i didn't DO anything. i was just taking the train and some
dude took a pic of me that just happen to make the front page. in
retrospect, if you interpreted the article with me as a rider, i should be
portrayed as someone that's upset about paying more money to ride a train
that smells like urine on summer days or delays for 10 minutes before the
last stop cause of train congestion. and stop giving me praise about
nothing. big deal - someone at the newspaper said, "this kid looks like he
gives a damn about riding the chicago transit. let's put him on the
cover!"

and now i other infamous line - "DON'T GET ME WRONG" but i don't mind being
on the cover. it is a pretty cool thing and i'm not putting it down for
what it's worth.

my static has to deal that it's not worth as much as everyone makes it out
to be. i'd rather have been on the cover for my documentary or my awesome
writing, but instead on on the cover cause i'm a train rider. i'd probably
like it more so if i were quoted on how the hike bites the big one.

now i know what 15 minutes of fame feels like - literally. this is NOT the
climax of my celebrity status but i guess all that hype made it feel like
something like that would never come again. i beg to differ as i will push
to get my face on that cover again for something that i've done for mother
earth, whether it be film, writing, or being more outspoken. ask me about
this again in 10 years...

a current affair!

2007-05-25T12:18:00.001-07:00

time is ticking and it feels like it's going really, REALLY slow! don't
you hate the friday before a long weekend? you're stuck at work or school
and when it gets closer and closer to the end of the day, it feels like
time goes slower. yeah, yeah - i know - don't look at the clock or keep
busy cause then you won't notice time fly. but i always feel like i need
to know what time it is because it makes me know what's going on at what
part of the day. in other words - if my boss comes to me and asks me when
i sent that letter or important document out, i can say around 2 o'clock.
it's more acceptable then saying - 'i dunno - like earlier in the day.'

it goes the same with people that read up on the newspaper or keep up with
current affairs. it makes them sound smart when they talk about it. it's
true. i did a personal experiment. i'm a pretty savvy kid and have the
brains to keep up a conversation. SO - one week, i decided to watch the
news every night and talk about it at work or with friends by the end of
the week. the following week, i didn't watch shiet and people would ask me
about things and i could only say, "really? i didn't catch that." or "i
heard about that" but not really. and the rest of my conversations sounded
more like human behavioral complaints or random, funny incidents that
happened through the week. didn't sound as smart as the news, but none the
less - something to carry the conversation.

so today's lesson is to always know the time and news so you sound smart.

what time is it now?

leave me be

2007-05-22T11:14:00.000-07:00

i think there's some kind of invisible "f*ck you" sign on me that i can't
see. for some reason, people @ work have been kind of stand-off'ish.
like, "don't talk to me" or "i'm not saying hello to you, b*tch" or "you're
a waste of my time" (haha - circa previous post). but really - i've been
really cheery and nice today cause it's beautiful outside and i'd rather
like to become more upbeat at work. i've somehow pigeonholed myself in the
past to be this d*ck at work that is seen as a 'debbie downer' cause work
sucks. WELL - lately i've wanted to change that cause 1. it takes more
energy to be a downer than it does to be upbeat and if you're always a
downer, no one would want to be around you. i'm a social butterfly outside
of work - why hide that? 2. less stress. when you're always grumpy or
down in the dumps, you're always feeling blue and that there's a cloud over
you. i hate that feeling. i felt like that everyday of my life when i was
in middle school. i should be happier now a days - girlfriend, i'm
thinner, i'm making a movie, and my dayjob isn't crazy difficult.

SO - i'm trying to be more upbeat at work and trying to make my "happiness"
contagious. however - today doesn't seem to be so swell. no one wants to
smile back at me or are irritable or just don't feel like talking. HOWEVER
- what's throwing me off more so is that they're more upbeat to other
people. so this is why i'm wondering if maybe i have this personal f*ck
you sign that i don't know about.

just one of the things i miss about jersey. it was just easier to talk to
people for me there. don't know why - just was.....

wasting time

2007-05-17T08:51:00.001-07:00

you know what's a harsh phrase to hear? "waste of time"

Like "That class was a waste of time" or "Talking to him/her was a waste of
time" or "STOP WASTING MY TIME!"

I'm almost positive I've used that phrase in my life, but these days when I
hear it and after knowing what people would rather use "that time" on
instead. NO - it's not a waste of time. Your mind makes it a waste of
time cause you're not taking it in for what it's worth. Am I losing you a
bit? Okay - lemme backtrack a bit...

SO - me personally, I've been contraint w/time - always editing, running,
keeping up with social expectations (weddings, birthdays, etc.), upkeeping
the dayjob, taking care of my lady, and attempting to excel more than
expected in all areas. All these things take time and yet I still try to
schedule new things or put new things on my plate. And yes - I will admit
that I have encountered moments where it was a "waste of my time" because
it was something that I've already done or something I already knew or it
didn't move me forward in the direction I wanted to go. HOWEVER, in a
world where "everything's in the mind," if you take that step outta the box
and look at it from a far from normal point of view (or P.O.V. for you
acronym freaks), then you have to at least muster up a small string of new
knowledge from that experience. Whether it be picking up on a different
human behavior or upkeeping a new relationship (a.k.a. networking) or even
hearing a different voice with a different opinion - it's all relative to
something new. Now unless you're suffereing from a severe case of
consistant deja vu or memory relapse, experiences in life should be like
snow flakes or fingerprints. Everything always depends on how you take it,
but to utter the phrase "waste of time" - well, did you really try to take
that moment for what it was worth??

Okay - let me stop wasting your time....

myspace & movie

2007-05-09T14:01:00.001-07:00

i had this random dream a couple of night ago, but the only thing that came
out of it for me was this line that i could definitely use in a screenplay.
this infamous line is:

"OH YEAH! WELL, YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS CAUSE I'M GONNA BE ON AMERICAN
GLADIATORS AND YOU'RE NOT!"

Isn't that awesome?? continuing on....

i feel like it's new work when you need to set time aside to update your
myspace layout. isn't that sad?? i mean, don't get me wrong, i am guilty
of setting things up on myspace late at night and making it pretty for my
friends to check out. i also try to get the right youtube video to post
up, as well as the right song to play on my profile. the reason why i've
become addicted all over again is because i stopped using it for like 2 or
3 months, then i started using it up again. See - i take these long spurts
between usage which is why i'm probably still active on that. myspace is
also a really good networking tool - no joke. i've used it to actually
meet people to interview for my documentary. isn't that wierd??

i'll be posting up a new documentary teaser on this blog later today.
please check it out and please check out the website. i'm almost done
w/this movie and it's been so frickin grueling w/the editing that i'm
starting not to care about detailed things. ugh - but gotta keep pushing
man! that's what puts people on top over others!!

bills, bills, bills

2007-05-02T09:04:00.000-07:00

sometimes i wish there were such thing as a 3 or 4 dollar bill. there are
just those moments where you only have a 5, 10, or 20 and really need that
dollar bill to just buy a cup of coffee or pay toll. wonder why that $2
bill didn't fly? probably the same reason the susan b. anthony $1 coin
didn't fly. Whatever this reason may be - my theory has to do with the
skulls - that underground hardcore fraternity that supposedly runs our
country. i mean - their symbols are all over the $1 bill, right? that's
why the susan b. didn't fly! the $2 bill though, they probably didn't like
the picture on the back. ppffff - who wants to see a bunch of old dudes
signing a contract about our rights as citizens?!?! bla - whatever -
anarchy rules!

continuing on:

this goes out to "Black Bear" - you know who you are! you keep stalking me
on this blog. the question here is - why aren't you emailing me?? I
believe I was the last to send an email out, but you know how those Bears
get around this season. Fillin their lungs up with brain cell killing
smoke to get that rejuvinated feeling that Dave Matthews IS THAT AWESOME!
i suggest you do google searches on the following, Black Bear: Peggy Lee
Kirby, the children of William Morris, Officer Dacres, and the lost
recordings of WRLC's 1110 Mix. Good luck and I expect an email from you
FIRST (cause I don't have an updated email addie).

lastly:

i found my OLD blog of like 4 years ago. it's quite amazing really:

http://kermit-j-frog.livejournal.com

if you read into it, i'm way more crass, way more imaginative, and way more
out there than how I've been on this blog. those were probably the days i
was unemployed and smoked crack - ah....those were the days.....

i just called to say....

2007-04-24T12:08:00.001-07:00

you know what's true about life: the saying "Outta sight, outta mind."

When something is not always pressed against someone's memory in visual
sense, it can easily be forgotten. At first, there will be that
transitional phase where memory will be invoked to ponder a question of
one's whereabouts, but after awhile our busy bee mentality takes over to
move forward. we're always moving these days and the people that don't
keep up with us - well, they can just catch up at the next holiday
gathering. isn't that sad? i've always found myself to be the master of
gatherings. if a party was needed to get planned, i wouldn't hesitate to
make calls and write quirky emails. however, i stopped and along with that
- they stopped. and then people moved forward.

i also moved forward, but can't shake off that thinking of gathering
people. however, i stop after i've written up something on email or i
don't hit the dial button when i'm staring at a phone number in my cell
address book. i stop because i become i think, "why should I (me, myself!)
be the one to call? why can't he/she/it call me??" and then i play fight
in my head:

"cause you're better and you're interested in what he/she/it is up to...."

"but if he/she/it were interested in what YOU were doing, why didn't
he/she/it call YOU??? why is he/she/it better than you??"

"stop being selfish and see what happens...you haven't seen/heard of
he/she/it in awhile...."

"if he/she/it doesn't care, then i don't care!"

and then my fight ends and nothing productive comes from it other than i
ended where i started. and what saddens me more is hearing the words, "Man
- I haven't seen you in a LONG time? What have you been up to? Can't you
call sometime??"

Excuse me....what was that?? SO - it was acknowledged that there was an
"outta sight" citing, but the "outta mind" part continued to keep it "outta
mind." maybe it's just easier that way - that's why. why should we care?

AH- but really - why shouldN'T we care?? call someone up and tell'em you
love'em.....

senior-itis

2007-04-19T07:26:00.000-07:00

Here's my little rant for today: (I should just rename my blog - Little
Rant 101)

I went to the gym last night and after my run I wanted to do either
crunches or work on my back. When I walked to the crunch benches - they
were all taken, so I moved to the thing to work on your back (it's like a
diagonal gymnastics horse), but alas - they were all taken too! So I
waited for the back thing and stood there for awhile. And NOW MY RANT: a
theme that I'm starting to see is senior citizens or elderly people to take
that status for granted. Now don't get me wrong - I love'em old folks and
dearly enjoy listening to the "old days" of how things use to be better.
Hell - I'm getting there myself and have been telling those type of stories
(it just sounds weird cause it's about the 80's). But lately I've seen
these elderly people KNOW they can't move as quick but aren't considerate
of younger people. In relation to my workout - an elderly lady was using
the back bench and i stood there and let her go at it for about 15 minutes.
you know what i saw - she would do 3 reps - stop - stand around - look
around - and then sit on the bench for like 2 minutes before she did
another 3 and then all that crap all over again! She was on that thing for
30 minutes and probably only did 15 total reps. I think what annoyed me
more was that she knew I was waiting. Thank god another one opened up for
me to use. I was so pissed, I did my 5 sets of 20 in like 5 minutes.

Another occasion - my gf and I were on the bus on the way home and it
wasn't sincerely packed. I know the front of the bus is reserved for
senior citizens and handicapped people, but obviously some people just like
to sit at the front of the bus. We were watching as these two elderly
ladies, who were walking fine, came on board and looked at these 2 younger
girls sitting at the front. "The leader" of this elderly couple of ladies
said to these girls "we're seniors..." In my head, that meant, "i'm old -
get the f*ck outta my seat!" and the way she said it, I wouldn't be
surprised if that's what she meant. Now that's takin the 'senior citizens'
status for granted!

I'm no old person hater, so don't label me as uncaring or unsympathizing.
However, I am an observer of courtesy amongst people and some people just
take their status for granted.

SIDENOTE: my wisdom tooth needs to get pulled....i'm hurting over
here.....

a can of coke

2007-04-11T13:53:00.001-07:00

i don't understand the people that need to announce everything they do
before they do it. And to follow - I don't understand the people that
reinforce the notion with supportive words to such a menial task. For
example - "I'm gonna go buy myself a can of coke." Followed by - "Way to
quench that thirst!" Sometimes I think the people that say these things
are saying it to just listen to themselves speak. However - I do digress
because I am guilty of the momentary bathroom break announcements that
overshares what actions will take place in the confines of "the moonhouse."
But I've been better at this since I've turned 21 (7 years ago).

Maybe I'm just bitter at the people that feel that this type of dialogue is
necessary for a more open environment. It sets ease and comfort to
everyone around so that no one is suddenly surprised that this person
appears out of nowhere with a coke. "HEY! Where'd you get that coke and
why didn't you say anything?!"

"i just broke up & i don't know if i should share or not"

2007-04-02T07:34:00.001-07:00

i never know what to say to another dude when he's just in passing, but he
drops a quick overshare of his relationship status. Like I just went to
buy a bottle of water and a guy from work who's on "work aquaintance" level
had to say, "Well, I'm single now. So that's okay." After all I said was,
"Hey - how's it going?"

Now w/insight like that, he's sorta opening up to me but in another way,
he's also releasing some feeling. Sorta like the balloon metaphor for when
guys hold in feelings for too long. He can either let out little bits
along the way or he can let it all blow out in one big release. Then he
got into it a little bit more, "But everything's okay, everything's okay."
This can be read as, "if i keep saying this, I'll believe it and yes,
everything will be okay."

I felt for him, so I tried to humor him by relating. I tried to make him
truly feel okay w/relating situations. I said, "Well, I'm still in a
relationship, so you're pretty lucky. We're in the comfort zone, so it's a
bit troubling." However, what I said was a little white lie cause it's not
troubling and my relationship is actually pretty good since I'm completely
random and find comfort uncomfortable. The good thing was that he smirked
and hopefully it made him feel just a pinch better.

SEE - guy's have feelings too!

blogger love

2007-03-30T12:18:00.001-07:00

you ever question your motives for getting ticked off? sometimes its just
too much energy to stay angry at something/someone. i've gotten to this
place where people get on my nerves because they do stupid things, but i
shrug my shoulders and say 'whatever.' in the past, i've corrected the
problem or told the person my opinion on the situation. but after awhile,
peoples' old habits of being forgetful or being late or being negative get
played out. sometimes you wish people weren't as sensitive so you could
just say, "can you stop being (insert bad habit)!! you know you have this
problem, so fix it!"

but yet again, we don't live in that fantasy world where people realize
what's wrong with themselves and they try their hardest to defeat it.
instead we live in a majority bad habit world with imperfections that we
need to learn to accept as "that's just bob being bob" or "that's okay -
just humor it." this goes back to a past entry where i b*tch about how
inventors are on missions to make us more lazy. like america being the
most obese country, we've created the internet to look things up instantly.
and instead of talking to people and preaching methods of improvement, we
go on these website to complain on what we hate. those daym bloggers!
haha :P

mental drain

2007-03-23T13:18:00.001-07:00

this one time in my life i was all about accommodating to the masses as
much as possible. i was "the planner" - the guy that got people together
to do things like have dinner, go bowling, watch movies, or just hang out.
emails, phone calls, and reminders would go out and i enjoyed it. knowing
that people would be laughing and having a good time was always fun because
i was still part of it. then i was also this "leader" - the one that
ordered the food and dealt with the collection of money at the end of the
meal. the guy that had to do a headcount and make sure reservations didn't
fall through the cracks cause someone was gonna be late. the guy that
bought the movie tickets in advance cause he knew it would get sold out if
everyone waited on it.

and then i became tired.

it became nerve wrecking, stressful, and turned into extra work. then
people started to take you for granted - telling you to plan this or that
event. saying "what are you gonna plan for my birthday?" or "shouldn't you
send out an email about the movie?" it turned into a hassle and lost the
luster of just getting friends together.

so i stopped.

know what happen? no one did anything. no one wanted to take the time and
effort that i once endured to get everyone together. so - people lost
interest. people didn't even stop to see what happen. they just went
about their personal lives and would rather care about their own good being
than to create a plan for everyone to jump into.

and now, as selfish and conceded as it may seem, i wish there were someone
that acted like me. i wish someone would take the time and effort to make
plans for everyone to hang out. i do it every once and awhile, but now,
since it lost the regularity and spontaneity, things need to be planned
like 2 weeks in advance instead of happing in a couple of days. we get
older and friends seem not to care or if you don't put out any effort, they
look over what you've done in the past to compensate for it.

and then i became tired again.....

one liner

2007-03-20T13:33:00.001-07:00

i like how diet coke prominantly states that it is NOT a significant source
of vitamin A, vitamin C, calcium, and Iron. "you mean - vitamin C for Coke
doesn't exist?"

my far fetch thought for the day

2007-03-06T06:42:00.001-08:00

This was in the news this morning:

BEIJING (Reuters) -- Fearful of soaring Internet addiction and juvenile
crime, China has banned the opening of new Internet cafes this year, state
media reported on Tuesday.

THOUGHTS: Okay - so in making my documentary, obviously a question of
where our society is has occurred to me on multiple occassion throughout
each day that passes. My thoughts are that scientists, inventors,
creators, and contributors to our world are pushing forward toward one
goal: how to become as lazy as possible while still being productive. Now
the thought may seem like an oxymoron (lazy producer or producing laziness)
, but I'm sure you get the gist here. Although we're in this phase of
technological advancement, somewhere down the universal evolution, there
may be a breakdown and we may find ourselves back to the basics. Now you
may be thinking, "But J, how can that be? We're so well and smart and
always becoming better (in terms of technology)." Well here's a thought,
hot shot - not to use global warming as my political support, but as an
example of a global crisis, let's say all our resources deteriorate and our
functionality that thrives off of energy runs down. What we have left here
is nothing but our own will power as man. Are we ready for something like
that? Do you believe that every woman and man has the ability to survive
on his or her own skill and wit?? And yeah, this would be like the reality
show Survivor, but do I really sound like I'm far fetched here? I think
not....

In terms of relating to the article at hand in the beginning of this post,
this could be the route that people need to test their will. It's a matter
of stopping the madness and strengthening the weak. Asia has been the
forefront of technology and has pushed the electronics card further each
day. They notice that there's a problem and now they take measures to try
and accommodate to it. Do you think America can do the same? Can we
Americans have something taken away from us to be a test of where we stand
in terms of strength? Can you take away our fast food, our golden age of
television, and our cars?? Would we be able to be a social, harmonizing
nation under a happy, moralistic belief like the goal of just being free?

I dunno man....I dunno....

just a few things

2007-02-26T11:10:00.000-08:00

I don't understand why bosses at work say, "can you do me a favor?" our
implied thought is "do i have a choice?" but our immediate answer is
"uh-huh..." waiting like a dog for a command. in latter months i've become
a little more agitated and annoyed at my job. basically because the
monotony is getting on my nerves and my strive to move forward gets haulted
by lack of "more education" or lack of "more experience." two barriers
that i think are rubbish and should at least circumvent an interview for me
due to the fact that my resume says "pick me" and "other candidates are
fake."

then again - these may be the specific reasons why i'm not getting
interviews. geez - can't anyone appreciate the truth?

martin scorsese has finally made me a happier oscar watcher. not that i'm
not a happy oscar watcher to begin with. i do admit to being an academy
whore, but whatever - we all have to strive for something. mine is trying
to get the most wins on my oscar ballot. anyways - this year's festivities
has been probably the better ones in ages. i was actually not surprised
that ellen degeneras did a kick ass job. truthfully, i think she's funny
and more truthfully - why did seinfeld present best documentary?? bad
choice and his material prior to the award was terrible, recycled jokes
that i've heard him tell before. get back to the comedy clubs, jerry.
work on your art cause you were awesome at one time. don't fall off the
face of the earth and lose your street cred....

what's in a name

2007-02-08T11:14:00.000-08:00

i really think that sometimes people say my name to just say my name. my
first name is "jonald" ("like Donald with a 'J'). So i think that people
that i don't talk to on a usual basis at work, like to randomly say my name
outloud because they usually don't say a name like that.

i guess i can be guilty of the same process of randomocity. however, my
delivery is a little different in that i like saying my friends' names the
way that their parents say it. i think it has to do with my intricate
observation of words and accents (writer's complex). thus i tend to mimick
the accent when saying their name or call them by their nickname.
otherwise, i turn the whole process into ghetto lingistics and call the
person by his/her first initial - "Yo E!" - said for someone named Eric,
Ed, or Ebinizer.

Anyhoo - maybe i'm just making an excuse for people just saying hello to me
in a kind manner and disregarding the fact that there are actually nice
people in the world.

hmmmm.....

nah - there's no such thing as that!! haha!

an email to my cousin

2007-02-02T09:28:00.001-08:00

i was tellin my co-worker this story of when we were kids and when the
bears made it to the superbowl in '85. chicago was really hyped up on it
and there was such a bigger buzz goin on compared to this year.

there was a big chicago bears layout in the newspaper and my sister was
showing it to me and you. then she said, "which chicago bear are you?" and
then you immediately said, "refrigerator perry!" and she asked what number
he was and you said, "72!" i remember i was upset cause i wanted to be the
fridge and he was the only jersey # i knew. so when my sister asked me who
i wanted to be, i frowned and said, "jim mcmahon" but then when she asked
what # he was, i didn't know. i was upset for not knowing and feeling
kinda dumb.

so, this morning i texted my sister - "I'M URLACHER! #54!"

even though i got it before you, she must think i'm wierd now.

i can never win.....

the latter

2007-01-31T12:43:00.001-08:00

some thoughts:

-what wrong w/me liking justin timberlake's music? okay - the gay part of
it is that he was part of n'sync and he's like the national coverboy for
bebop/tiger-beat magazine. however, if you break down the aesthetics of
his last album, he worked with a major hip hop music producer - timbaland.
his work is somewhat parallel to michael jackson of the 70's/early 80's
(off the wall, thriller) which are by far the best albums and i believe is
still the biggest selling album ever. and the shiet is danceable, chill,
and pushes further than his boy band period. all i'm sayin is that -
sometimes you shouldn't have to play into your mind what other people think
about your likes and dislikes. if you like justin, a past american idol
winner, or any reality television show - f*ck it....admit it and let it be
your guilty pleasure, BUT don't rag on somebody for having the taste that
they have. respect opinions man.....

-how much should you play into your decisions based on "feeling bad?"
sometimes it's annoying when people "feel bad" about not doing or doing
something that someone else would find offensive or rude. gimmie a frickin
break! so for the most part - things depend on the situation - and to this
I do consider weighing options and yes, "feeling bad" can play a role.
however, when you come to two ill advisable paths or moments of confusion
where nothing seems to be correct no matter which way you go - well, f*ck
it! just choose what you WANT to do! seriously! if friends are friends,
they should understand your choice and no - you should not have to feel
like you're sneaking behind them with your choice nor should you have to
lie for the sake of looking like a bad guy. again - i do consider weighing
the option of playing to the situation at hand - whereas circumstances
could mean that lying is a safe way to avoid non-needed confrontation or
future awkward moments. but in a magical world where no there is no
polical correctness and being blunt is actually speaking the real truth
instead of beating around an invisible bush - then you should just do what
you want to do in life without having to take into consideration of
"feeling bad."

and yes - that magical world does have a bad side where i'm fat, bald, have
bad skin, and am a bad writer (cause everyone's blunt). but you know what
- if people told me this in a blunt way a long time ago, my problems may be
being vain and acting like an over perfectionist hhmmm.....which ones are
worse traits?

oscars are coming? who do you think is winning?

what we do for electronics!

2007-01-18T13:04:00.001-08:00

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - A California radio station has fired 10 staff
members after a contest to drink as much water as possible to win a new
Nintendo Wii game console resulted in a woman's death, a company spokesman
said on Wednesday.

Jennifer Strange, 28, a mother of three, died from water intoxication after
taking part in a "Hold your wee for a Wii" competition on a morning radio
show on Sacramento station KDND-FM Friday.

She was one of about 20 contestants who tried to outdrink each other
without going to the toilet and was reported to have drunk about seven
quarts (6-1/2 liters) of water in a bid to win the Wii for her children.
She was the runner-up.

dreamweaver

2007-01-16T07:30:00.001-08:00

you know what trips me out sometimes? when you're having a bad day but
still say or write in an email - "have a great day!"

i always thought it was natural instinct to wish badful ventures to someone
when you're having a bad day, so you can at least feel better than someone.
(sarcastic thought)

so in good fashion of a wannabe screenplay writer/filmmaker, i watched the
golden globes last night. anyone else see this? anyone think brad and
angelina had a little spat in the limo before getting unto the red carpet?
angelina looked sorta pissy. maybe she misses that good billy bob lovin
pre-red carpet. brad seems to be more conservative in that fashion.
probably cause billy boy knew he couldn't get anyone that hot again.

i'd like to give big ups to my idol - the filmmakers filmmaker - marty
scorsese. the man's a genius and has yet to get his hands on that baby
oscar. with this golden globe win and in comparison to the frontrunner for
babel....his chances are way higher than the past couple of years. my only
vice is that dirty harry is still playing the strong cards. i'm tellin ya
- if you told me after watching clint eastwood work it with a chimpanzee in
the 80's that he would go on to be this award winning director - i'd ask
you where you got those air jordan's and how much you're sellin your crack
for....cause seriously, in the past couple of years, that man came outta
nowhere.

warren got his hands on the cecil b. award last night. my only comment -
why? no offense - i think the dude's cool and he did have his moments, but
seriously, i think y'all gave it up to him cause he's been outta the game
for a long time and y'all wanted an upright citizen to give the award to.
warren even said in his speech that he hasn't been in that many films and
it really is true. the handful of films that were featured last night
were probably all the ones that he's made. there's probably been 20 films
total in a career span of over 30 years. maybe it is quality over
quantity, but the guy isn't dead...maybe it should've gone to someone else
more deserving during a time period that movie making has been in a low.
even this year's oscar race seems somewhat weaker as past years. but with
this award show becoming history....watch...you'll see the hype by all the
movies. it's like waterworks when the corporation takes control now.

i can venture to say that dreamgirls will pick up some extra viewing this
weekend. this movie will definitely put eddie murphey back on the map that
he lost awhile back. he's been playin it safe with all those kiddie
movies, but nothing has returned to him since coming to america. hopefully
this'll be his ticket to better written roles.

this is all......

in other news....

2007-01-10T07:11:00.000-08:00

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Unbowed by public doubts, President George W. Bush
plans to announce on Wednesday that he will send about 20,000 more U.S.
troops to Iraq as part of a long-delayed shift in strategy in the unpopular
war. Bush's plan may represent his last best chance to salvage the U.S.
mission in Iraq and turn around frustration with his handling of the war.
Administration officials said Bush will announce plans to deploy about
20,000 more U.S. troops to join 140,000 already in Iraq -- most to Baghdad
and 4,000 to volatile Anbar province.

AND

Many of Bush's own Republicans expressed unease and a USA Today/Gallup poll
said Americans oppose the idea of increasing troop levels in Iraq by 61
percent to 36 percent.

ME THINKS:

are you kidding me dude?? Here's a common theme from the documentary
aspect of cinema. From all the documentaries that I've watched for the
past year (fahrenheit 9/11, who killed the electric car, when the leeves
broke, enron: the smartest guys in the room, etc., etc.) the common theme
all have to do with how bush is f*ckin up. NOW - whether you're a donkey
or an elephant - you gotta admit that this war thing is going just a bit
too far and we need those kids back here. it's reported that 3,000 lives
have already been sacrificed in that relived vietnam fight. is there even
an answer to this long debate? come on man....think for a little bit about
what's going on here and listen to the people. we're a democracy - aren't
we?

IN OTHER THOUGHTS (non-political):

let's talk about sports. mcgwire doesn't make it into the baseball hall of
fame because of the steroid era?? gimmie a break....it's the past already.
work toward making the future better! don't hinder the people that
might've or might not have f*cked up in the past. let me tell you
something about that specific time in social culture when baseball watchers
and non-baseball watchers were on their toes everytime sammy sosa and mark
mcgwire were at the plate. i would be watching a television show and the
network would do picture-in-picture to show their specific up at the plate.
it was an unreal time. and when either one of them smacked it outta there,
it was unreal! bars would go crazy and jaws would drop on how far that
shiet would go. they picked up baseball to another degree where i've never
seen it. and yes, steroids was at question even at that time....but they
did something for baseball back then and when you think about it, they're
really harming themselves for doing it.

i dunno - maybe i'm just a softy and maybe i thought they did something
great for the culture of baseball, but don't deny the guy from getting into
the baseball hall of fame. didn't you let pete rose in there for
gambling?? this is just my opinion and that's that.....

those were the days

2007-01-05T15:47:00.000-08:00

you know what i don't get about regular joe movie watchers? these days,
they're so ready to critique a film - saying whether it's good or bad and
if it's worth their money - instead of trying to understand what the
director or the writer is saying. before films, there was television and
even before that there were these things called books. and wouldn't you
know it - those things called books held stories. words on pages that
people read to try and learn something that someone was saying. AMAZING!
now - people take the cgi graphics and vast technology for granted to only
say what's good or bad without walking away with the barebones of what a
movie is trying to say. hey - even the bad movies have cliche lines and
trite situations that are still trying to tell you what's good and bad in
the world. the more sad part is that if i were to write up a movie about
what i'm saying, it'd be too cliche. a movie about a screenplay writer
trying to figure out what movie goers like and dislike....every first
screenplay writers fallback. too bad none of them were ever that great....

uh....maybe except Adaptation with Nic Cage and written by Charlie Kaufman.
Check it out.

that's my rant for today......(well, at least on here...)

where are y'all??

2007-01-04T06:52:00.001-08:00

ugh - i have a lot of anger in me lately. don't know why, just do.

sometimes i can't take "stupid people." now don't get me wrong, i do have
tolerance and patience for people and i must say that it is at a very high
mark to which i can deal with most. however, sometimes you know someone
for so long that you know what they're capable of and what they're not
capable of. what i'm starting to pick up on about some that is starting to
annoy me is how people will use their "innocence" for granted.

initiative people!! a lot of times in life, you just need to grab the bull
by the horns and run with it. take a chance and make some executive
decisions. do NOT always ask questions and seek approval of everyone.
again, don't get me wrong, as there are times where unanimous consent is
needed or feedback is in order so that improvement can help move forward.
BUT our world is mixed up with people that either don't give you any
valuable input OR push your thoughts away while waiting for something
better to come along. that right there is when you move it along yourself.
all you baby!

it gets super-duper annoying when you know someone is capable of making an
executive decision in a situation, but is not firm, has no spine, and a lot
of talk is what it is - a lot of talk!

i guess i'm just looking for some substance around me......

drunk

2006-12-29T07:07:00.001-08:00

I'm not sure how this happens, but sometimes it does. You ever wake up
still being drunk? I went drinkin last night and got to bed drunk (not
sloppy, hammered, and vomiting but kindly buzzed with moments of
unnecessary laughter) then I woke up to get ready for work. Came into work
and now it's about 3 hours since I woke up....but yeah....still
light-headed and can't walk that straight. I could really use a nap and
all I want to drink is water. This is really wierd....

takin' a break from all your worries, sure would help alot

2006-12-28T07:23:00.001-08:00

after installing at least 5 viewing times of the Christmas Story on TBS, an
extra 2 hours a night after work for last minute Christmas shopping 4 days
before the eve event, and listening to non-stop Christmas music 1 week
before the big day......STILL, STILL I TELL YOU - there's no sense of
Christmas nostalgia in me. It's not like I dislike the event nor am I a
scrooge about giving people presents, but for me....the vibe has
disappeared. Did it really snow on Christmas eve just 4 years ago that
made it seem so magical and now due to global warming all I can do is hope
that it doesn't rain?? Do i neeeeed to have children in order to reassure
myself that i'm not some cold-blooded individual that has no sense of
feeling and thrive off of living vicariously through them?? is this just
another ongoing indication that i'm growing old and my mid-life crisis is
going to be pure hell if I feel like this now?

SO i had an idea, an epiphany, a metaphoric light bulb that's suppose to
symbolize that my mind still works! while being in the midst of filming my
documentary
(ahem....plug...*cough*.....http://www.thatasianthing.com....ahem! *cough*)
and in the words of Rocky Balboa (from the movie, "Rocky Balboa") - "I
still got stuff in the basement," - meaning that i'm still flowing with
that sweet adrenaline juice - i thought of this idea to make a
Santa-mentary. NOW i'm not sure if i'd want to do this, but i think it's a
good idea. So the premise is much like a product of M. Night's Signs and
the almost forgotten independent hit, Blair Witch Project. I guess it
would be about people trying to find the truth behind Santa. they would
travel to Antarctica and walk many, many miles in the freezing cold to get
to wherever the North Pole is supposedly located. after walking through
the freezing snow, they pass out and this is where it turns into something
like Signs - these midgets come and rescue them. Elves man! Elves!!

I would think it would not be children appropriate as it would be pretty
scary, trippy, and surreal. ALSO - i don't think you ever actually see
Santa throughout the whole ordeal. I think silhouettes, shadows, and quick
images of him throughout the flick would be cool. this is completely in
documentary format. i envision the beginning being this press conference
held by state officials about receiving classified footage that was sent to
them anonymously from the Antarctica. maybe it was held by the FBI during
the 80's and only now is being released (sorta like the John Lennon files
this past week).

It's just an idea to bring hype back into Christmas. It could work. And
no - this wouldn't be a comedy...it'd be like the Blair Witch - a fictional
documentary. WE'LL SEE....

moving right along - the overhyped event of new year's eve is approaching.
time to either be bored with your family or waste 200 bucks (entrance fee
for open bar & grub w/cab fare) on a forgotten drunken night. joy to the
world! be safe people and as always - wish for world peace!

thoughts

2006-11-28T14:02:00.000-08:00

sometimes i think comedy is really who can annoy who the most. if my
theory is right, the whole world is pretty hilarious. HA!

10 year high school reunions are worth the 2 minutes right before you're
about to walk into it. every emotion that you've felt from graduating high
school to that very minute resurges. your mentality is completely confused
and you feel like laughing, pissing, throwing up, and gizzing in your pants
all at once. it all makes you want to turn around and not go back. the
open bar is worth it if you take advantage of it.

boredom for me results into unnecessary productivity. instead of doing
real work that needs to be done, i start work that i've never thought of.
3 days out of work and no plans has made me learn to stitch, fix a stereo
using a nail cutter, and all the new dance moves on that MTV.

work always continues whether you're there or not. the only thing that you
missed out on was the results of reality television shows that coworkers
are obsessed about.

updating my 401k and all my insurance plans makes me feel old.

sitting up straight can mask your obesity.

thanks for listening.

kriss kross make ya wanna jump

2006-11-15T08:47:00.001-08:00

i hate being the messenger! Why is everyone so damn scared of a little
confrontation?? OKAY, okay....I will say that I am guilty of not starting
beef - HOWEVER, what I do hate is becoming the mediator when someone is too
scared to say how they feel. What upsets me more is when it's between 2
people that know each other very, very well and I would venture to say that
no matter the outcome, status of friendship would probably stay intact.
Then speak your frickin mind, man!

Continuing with that, is it me or has there been a huge upscale rise in
spam emails?? How did they find us?!?!? How do these people get paid and
why are they out there? Because their spam emails about viagra are just as
dangerous as a hacker throwing you a virus. You click on that email and
open up any attachments just cause you think you can get a discount of
p*nis erection longevity and then you're screwed. HA - i guess literally
if it really is about p*nis erection longevity. SPAM GUYS - give it up
man. Stop tricking the 12 year old boys about what's more important in
relationships with women.

Transitioning from that - just love your women, man. Treat them with the
utmost respect and if you feel like something is missing, something is
wrong, or something isn't working in the relationship....just hit the reset
in your head and remember why you fell in love. Mental chaos is difficult
to overcome and the stronger ones are the ones who can make it work. And
remember - just don't become the messenger.....

democrats

2006-11-09T23:17:00.000-08:00

to whom it may concern,

to whom it may concern - how are you? what have you been up to?

to whom it may concern - narrow and pessimistic point of view to follow.
it's all really a crock full of sh*t and everyone seems so frickin fake.
gimmie some daylight and a room full of straight people that have the
mentality of stereotypical flamboyant homosexuals (...that's cause they're
the only people that speak their minds with no disregard). if we lived in
a better world, i wouldn't need to hold back from telling a person how to
parent their child. if we lived in a better world, i wouldn't have to hold
back from telling anyone that interrupts me that I haven't finished my
thought yet. If we lived in a better world, there would be gizmos and
gadgets that can give evaluations for what you're worth to human society
and place you in the correct job through your wants and needs. God forbid
that you go along with the grain and stay stuck in a job that "just pays
the bills" or is "something to do."

to whom it may concern - WAKE UP, the sleeping people and get them out of
their shells. Let them live lives that push evolution and make multiple
memory books that turn into history books. Stand with objectivity to
figure out what is wrong and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! Stop complaining with
words that have no substance because saying "this sucks" or "i wish"
doesn't move anyones feet.

to whom it may concern - get us out of this commercial break and let us
watch better stories. cut the fat and serve the meat cause what we need is
life.

to whom it may concern - i'm tired and i know others are too. are you
tired?

to whom it may concern - write back when you can! see you in september!
have a great summer!

VOTE!

2006-11-03T07:32:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to take this opportunity to tell anyone out there reading
this - PLEASE GO OUT & VOTE ON TUESDAY,NOV. 7th!!

I'm not going to tell you how to which way to vote, but I will tell you my
personal knowledge as a novice political activist. When I first came out
of college 5 years ago, my only thoughts of politics were that Bush was bad
and war stinks. Present day - not much has changed. But whatever -
Republican or Democratic, the following is more of a push on voting. I
just wanted to reiterate that I didn't know much coming out of college.
Today, I'm more involved with my surroundings and the society around me.
Not to say that it's because of maturity, but because our voting really
does trinkle down to us personally. You may not think that 1 out of a
jillion can do much...but dag nab it, IT DOES!

Things like health care, the economy, and environmental issues all play a
role by the way votes are counted. These are the basics people! There are
laws passed and the people that vote on these laws are the people that we
vote for because we believe in their vision of what is good and bad. We
like the way they think and we want them to represent us because we believe
that he/she will do a good job of taking care of our needs. Coming out of
college, you may not be so aware because (like me personally) you probably
want to get your own situation settled in. A secure job that you like with
benefits and the right distance for commute. The pay needs to be able to
help you clear off some of that debt and be able to give you loot to party
with. WELL - see right there! Those common things are carried out and
controlled by our voting. Jobs= economy, benefits=health care, and even
socially activity is equal to the little laws of where bars are built,
smoking or non-smoking, and security w/liquor licenses. There's so much
behind everything we do that in order to make sure every bit of it runs
smoothly, we need to have smart people that go out and ROCK THE VOTE.

SO PLEASE - GO OUT AND VOTE!! EVERY BIT COUNTS!

go and google your county's voting info. Thanks..........

a gala apple

2006-10-24T09:40:00.000-07:00

BERLIN (Reuters) - A 59-year-old German man who has spent the last 34 years
in jail has turned down offers to be let out, an official said Saturday.

"He rejected an offer to leave in 1992," Thomas Melzer, a spokesman for the
Brandenburg state justice ministry, told Bild newspaper. "We can't do
anything if someone sentenced to life in prison doesn't want to leave."

The man, identified only as Gerold H, was convicted of murder and sentenced
to life imprisonment in 1972 when the area was part of communist East
Germany.

German prisoners have no obligation to agree to leave jail before their
sentences have been completed.

BLOG NOTE: SO - this is pretty interesting. Any thoughts as to why he
won't come back to the outside world? Maybe he knows how f*cked up it can
be and doesn't want to deal with all the hustle and bussle of "surviving."
Maybe, like in my previous post, he's found content in staying where he is
and molding his mind to be a machine. He's probably not ready just yet and
needs a couple of more years before he can implement his plan to take over
the world. You never know what these inmates are thinking while cooped up
in the joint and all they have are these books and their minds. I'd
probably have 3 screenplays written out if I were in jail for the past 5
years. (i say only 3 cause those would only be the well-written ones as
opposed to the 20 or 30 half-written or poorly written ones that i started
along the way.) Maybe he's scared to know what's going on with the world
and his mind is too weak to conform to today's culture. It always seems to
be a shell shock even when you travel to another country. Maybe he feels
really guilty and knows that no form of punishment can truly cleanse his
sin. He's not one to committ suicide, so he waits till the lord takes him
away. Sometimes those jail birds can get freaky religious on ya.

What would you do if you've been in jail for at least 30 years and are
allowed to leave? And if you did leave, how would you get back into the
swing of things? Interesting......no?

questionnaires

2006-10-18T11:29:00.000-07:00

what happens to a man when he seems to be content?

isn't our life long goal to actually reach a state of happiness? well -
what if our constant desire is to never be satisfied? doesn't that make us
stop what we're doing in life? in other words - if man actually did reach
a sense of satisfaction, then what the hell does he do for the rest of his
life? does he keep on doing whatever routine he's kept on doing for the
past 10 years to blind him of happiness? now don't get me wrong - if
someone tells me that he/she is completely happy and nothing is wrong with
his/her personal world, who am I to rain on anyone's parade? might as well
make the best of it and say "happy birthday" or "merry christmas" everyday!
however, our society is only recently waking up to becoming more
pro-active. there was a stink not long ago when culture was more dingy and
not caring....but it's wierd because it was cool to be like that. NOW -
its become more action packed and non-stop multi-tasking. it's cool to
have your computer and television on at the same time while texting someone
and taking notes on your blackberry as you're wearing your headset, waiting
for someone to call. what i'm afraid of is that billy joe down in
never-hear-of-it, nebraska is living his life on a farm and has found
happiness while ben chang is consistantly trying to accommodate to people's
needs whilst still searching for his own stress-free world. NOW - you tell
me though - if a man is so content in either one of those societies (fast
paced or grazin' raisin), then shouldn't he just lay on bed for the rest of
his life like an olf and die with a smile on his face?

doesn't seem likely because i believe god made us to always have a want or
a need as part of our characteristic. if that ever dies out in someone,
then that metaphor of dying out becomes literal. it's sad. we'll never
really find happiness people! things will make us happy....but to be
completely, utterly and non-needing ...well, you better wake up out of
never, neverland cause michael jackson will show you the thriller when you
least expect it.

there's your cent short of 3.

lotus notes

2006-10-09T07:09:00.000-07:00

"that's so funny."

you ever hear someone say that without laughing? i'd like to raise my hand
and not only admit to hearing it, but also admit to demonstrating the same
gesture. sometimes you know it's funny, but it's not THAT funny that
laughter is needed, so you simply say those 3 words to parlay the thought.
it's actually a two-sided thought. 1.) depending on delivery context, it
can be somewhat condescending and sarcastic to show that something is
actually not funny at all or 2.) the joke, not being SO funny to puncture
the nerve of laughter, is still understood by the recipient to be in
humorous content and therefore gets props in this fashion for its
acknowledgement. i just wanted to bring it up to speed and let people know
that i hear what you're saying and when you tell me something is funny but
aren't laughing, it makes me ponder the thought if it's really funny or
not. i'd rather get the number 2 reason over the number 1 thought of just
saying "that's funny" because it really isn't funny and it's in everyone's
mentality to be the sarcastic son-ova-b*tch that we are. and post note
that - i am sarcastic too and yes, i too am guilty of quoting the sentence
i've begun this blog with. the end on this.

NEXT ---

"the departed" directed by martin scorsese. my name is j. reyes and i am a
marty scorsese whore. i think the man is god and even think the bad movies
have their moments of shining as well. you just have to look at it from a
different angle. anyhoo - i urge you and deeply suggest that you watch
this movie. make THIS movie stay in the top spot for longer than one month
and remind people that we still love the cinema in theaters and that dvd's
and home entertainment systems shouldn't take away our film experience.
this is by far the best movie i've seen in a theater in a LONG, LONG time
and not to be biased because i've admitted to being a scorsese fan, but to
be objective and a professional film snob - this is seriously, by far, the
best film i've seen in probably 2 years (....only talking about theater
experiences). yes - i know it's based on a hong kong film entitled
"infernal affairs" to which i've watched and say that the storyline was
quicker and shot selections were faster, but marty stretches it out more
and adds his personal twist to his version. i've watched and studied this
man direct for so long that you can tell his style. the simple side swing,
mixed with a rock song from the 70's or 80's with quick shot selections.

i WILL say this in negative light - to show that i'm still thinking outside
of the whore box - is he making cinema too easy for the younger folk with
his simple symbolism? there are a few moments that stick out which make it
too easy to be a film student. per se the guy's a rat, you say he's a rat,
and SO let's show a rat on the screen. this guy's the bad guy, he's like
the devil, SO let's make him look like a devil by using red and
demonstrating a sense of evil. what's up with that?

BUT i still loved it. 3 hours completely unwasted and no chance of sleepy
eye. nothing dragged, nothing was drawn out, and nothing was completely
over embellished. WELL....let me take that last one back. certain things
were embellished but i think in a light where it was overdone to make a
statement to the viewer. in case you know things like that or not......if
not, don't worry about it and just go about enjoying your movie experience
with your date. ANYHOO - go watch this movie NOW!

the end.

an avon calendar

2006-10-05T08:46:00.000-07:00

last night I was tortured by my aunts to watch Dancing with the Stars. not
a fan of reality television and only watch it when being forced to by other
people in the room (...usually free food will get me in these situations),
I was mesmorized at how the format is just like American Idol but for
dancing. And this is why American Idol is one of the better reality
television shows, along with Survivor and Dancing with the Stars - because
it's really a higher scale of a game show and not more of an edited formula
to create over embellished drama. that's why i'm not a fan of real world
or big brothers....however, it can get too far when it gets too cheesy,
like the bachleor or joe schmoe, etc., etc. AND yes, those other reality
t.v. show game show type deals can get terrible too - just look at anything
on MTV. however, american idol, dancing w/the stars, and survivor....i
guess they've hit some sort of formula to know how to entice the audience
and keep them coming back for more.

ANYHOO - just watching it last night i already know who won. a.c. slater's
got it in the bag. no fair. the kid use to be on kids incorporated, which
was a song and dance show for children. and then he was on saved by the
bell doing all the dance moves and shiet. gimmie a break. he's already a
dancer by nature. the only other person i think that could beat him is
emmit smith and that's because he was one of the greatest running backs to
ever play the game. he's got the fancy footwork. my only question is -
how can you leave ali landry dude? you're a dumbass.

scorsese's new flick is based on a hong kong film. i'm watching it before
i dip into The Departed. i think i'm going to build a scorsese collection.
amazon used section is calling my name. i love it. goodfellas collector's
edition - here i come!

my birthday is on monday....old.....

orange spice tea

2006-09-25T11:48:00.000-07:00

weather does not permit me the freedom to choose on my exercise preference.
i like to run. i started running about a year ago and can now bust out 5
miles without thinking any different about it. the only thing that stops
me from consistently maintaining that adrenaline rush is the fact that
outdoor weather is retarded. it's the extremity of hots and colds that i
know chicago to be. ever since i've moved here, this midwest machine of
wierd weather has placed a never ending question mark for anyone that's
ever asked me "how's the weather like out there?" unless i'm outside, i
recommend just going to weather.com and finding out yourself. use 60645
and you'll know what's going on.

moving right along - i FINALLY watched motorcycle diaries. i must say that
there were parts in the movie that completely invigorated me to just go
outside and drive without turning back. i'd love to explore this vast
nation i'm on and make it all that it's worth. everyone is always saying,
"i'd love to travel over seas to [insert your own european dream]."
whereas i'm on the contrary and would like to find all the little nooks and
cranies that you don't know america has to offer. i'm no patriotic son
o'va b*tch, but what i am is someone that adds more value to what it's
worth. the south, east/west, and even the midwest -- all the states
located in these geographical locations of the nation have their own
personal flavor and i'm sorry - but truthfully, being a tourist and just
looking at photographic, travel channel, commercialized memories does NOT
enculture you to know better of the people. because honestly, the PEOPLE
is what makes a town the town. there are different cultural standards and
etiquettes that you just don't know exist. i'm from rutgers university and
there's even a rutgers form of etiquette or knowledge. not everyone knows
what a fat cat is, or that rutgers played the 1st collegiate football game,
or that lauryn hill went to rutgers-newark, or that kristen davis use to
perform at the george street playhouse, or that jonald reyes learned cinema
studies there. SEE!

every place has that certain j'ou no say qua.....

i'm getting older as i type....

bukowski print out

2006-09-19T08:50:00.000-07:00

my eyes have opened up to charles bukowski. if you don't know - i suggest
you do because i think i've found my supernova. this man will release my
weariness of a writer's block. already reading 2 excerpts online makes me
want to write for an eternity.

that's all i need to say.

my black and white mug of cafe mocha

2006-09-14T07:01:00.000-07:00

do you think the crocodile hunter deserved it? i was watching msnbc last
night and they had a debate on the crocodile hunter getting killed. first
off, i personally don't think people deserve to die unless they have mental
issues where they've killed off heads, but sometimes you have to pay the
piper when you play with fire. SO - i can see the debate. one guy was
saying that he had it coming to him cause he provoked the stingray. the
other was sayin that he's a professional and that something got f*cked up
in the way it was done. i personally think that the crocodile hunter's got
a frickin huge set of cajones. i don't think he deserves to die and wish
he hadn't because he helped make the animal planet channel what it is
today.....but he was playing with a huge fire, so to do something as
dangerous as he was for so long....well, something was bound to happen.....

ANYHOO - i don't watch reality television cause i'm a writer at heart. at
least i try not to which is difficult in our world today cause everything
is reality television. ACTUALLY - good t.v. is back again with the one
hour drama shows (lost, 24, etc.) but the #1 show is still american idol.
so you do the math. anyway, the point is that tonight is the debut of the
new season of Survivor. my friend, jenny, from glenview, IL is part of the
Asian-American tribe. isn't that a coincident? she gets on a highly
acclaimed reality show that provoking the racial card and i'm doing a
documentary on the low impact of asian americans in mainstream culture.
HOWEVER, i don't know if i should interview her. of course she's a fine
fit to the doc, but she's also my friend and i haven't put too much air
time of any of my other friends in the movie. i don't
know....whatever....i'll figure it out later.....

right now, i'd just like to wish her luck and hope she does well. good
luck jenny! watch survivor guys and support her instead of your own race!
haha!

flag desktop

2006-09-11T07:36:00.000-07:00

the days of chilly and nippy weather are up and about in the windy city.
summer days have already been missed as tempertures level off around the 60
degree mark. autumn returns and my allergies have made me not breathe
again. ugh....

yesterday i watched that 9/11 documentary on cbs. (no, not the harvey
keitel movie on abc.) this was completely and utterly unreal! it's the
one with the french filmmakers who were originally documenting what it was
like to be a new york firefighter and what the newbies go through. i was
explaining to my coworker of how you knew what happen "that day" and how
each part of the documentary was a jaw dropping, "oh shiet" moment. like
you were waiting for when each plane would hit. AND no matter how many
times i've seen the footage - it's always so unbelievable. always, always,
always......

so this is for nine-eleven! today is patriot's day (which makes me think
of when this exactly became a named day...???). wave a flag and have some
pride!

rubber band

2006-09-08T12:34:00.000-07:00

i hate when i send out like 20 to 30 emails but only get a handful of
responses back or even none at all. makes me feel like the work i did
sucked nutz and it didn't mean anything at all. however, in this line of
public relations (for the documentary), it's pretty important to keep on
pushing forward and getting the word out no matter what. it's sorta like
spam mail, but it isn't cause i don't overdo it and they're all personal
emails directed to a specific person that i'm inquiring to.

i'm tired and bored.

schools starts for kids again. i've been out of the game for 5 years now
and don't feel like i'm utilizing any of it. sad really.....

avery 5262 labels

2006-08-31T07:54:00.000-07:00

Maybe I'm the only one that really does this.....uh....nah, I'm sure other
do it too....but you ever look at documents you need to work with and kinda
just stare at it for a long ass time thinking that maybe it'll go away or
osmosis will happen whereby reading isn't required? this is something that
started in high school, developed in college, and is still a part of my
routine. sometimes i'll read parts that i've already read and say to
myself - why am i reading this again? not good. need to start digesting
words quicker.

SO - i'm currently on hiatus from my book club and have lowered my
interviewing schedule for my documentary to get back to the bare bones of
my project. The thing that makes a documentary better than just images and
embellished footage is the writing. Thus, I'm back to a rigorous writing
schedule chaulk full of inappropriate grammar and broken sentence
structure. My reasoning for bad writing is "I'm a writer!" and "I'm
allowed to do it!" Not really - but it makes me feel better to reason it
out this way.

Well - i'm off to buy new notebooks....

keep it clean!

red sharpie

2006-08-29T08:19:00.000-07:00

this is a rant. be aware.........

when did everyone go soft? okay - so what i'm getting at with this post is
this: in the world we live in now, more people are inclined to change
their minds and more people are in the understanding that nothing is ever
definite until everyone's in agreement. And to get everyone in agreement
takes awhile or is a difficult task to accomplish.

"what are you talking about???"

no one has definite answers anymore. maybe it's me and maybe it's the
world i live in, but everyone seems to have this "second chance" to change
things around. even look at the NFL or NBA - there are always second
chances with instant replays and referee change of calls. continuing on,
guys turning metrosexual and becoming more sensitive has taken a toll on
them being more confident and stronger with their words. the word "maybe"
is probably used more in 1 week, than the words "yes" and "no" in 1 month.
i'm not kidding.

people are scared to speak their voices sometimes and this really needs to
stop. S-T-O-P!! stop it! Stop It! STOP IT!

say what you feel and do what you want!

i'm not being mean.

i look out for people more than people may tend to acknowledge. i always
try to accomodate to as many peoples' needs over my own. but you know what
the difficult part is? when people don't know what they want and what may
seem like a relaxed, laid back cat - really can be someone that doesn't
know how to speak his or her own mind. do you know this person? he or she
is the same person that says, "whatever you guys wanna do is cool with me."
and then he/she waits until something bad happens to be the first to
complain "see - i knew this was a bad idea!" WTF?? where the hell were
you when we needed a consensus??

all i'm saying is - stop waiting around on the word "might." be a strong
person and work on the word - "yes." as stupid as it sounds, but there's
this quote from harry potter 4 that fits perfectly. "you must choose
between what is right and what is easy." for the metaphoric impaired -
"what is easy" is the thing that let's you not care and let's you give up.
don't be a quitter man...

LIVE!

file folders with massive papers

2006-08-25T13:27:00.000-07:00

this blog is for other "guys." you cannot....i repeat....can NOT....use a
guy friend as an excuse to escape from your girlfriend. it doesn't work.
i'm sorry. it may work for some guys, but really ...it doesn't work. let
me elaborate.

bob has girlfriend.

mike won tickets to tonight's ball game. he tells bob that he needs to
know "right now" if he can go with him or not because the ticket can go to
someone else.

bob likes hanging out with his girlfriend, but has never been to a ball
game. he also likes sports and would like to go to the ball game.

STOP!

route 1: if bob goes to ball game w/out telling his girlfriend (who may be
already expecting them to hang out tonight), he's walking into a trap of an
argument.

route 2: bob can decline his ticket and miss out on something fun, free,
and new. however, he will have a higher chance of having sex and hanging
out with his female best friend. to continue though - he will be
acknowledged as p*ssy whipped by his friends and grow more distant from
them.

route 3: bob can try to tell his girlfriend and butter her up for another
time to hang out. however, in the back of her mind she'll know that he
chose his friends over her (more so if she DID have plans to hang out with
him already).

route 4: completely seperate himself from both parties, thereby everyone
wondering what his deal is and why he's acting so wierd. (in essence, he's
not acting wierd but just doesn't want to deal with earlier routes
mentioned.)

route 5: insert your own route.

to continue with my initial thought, you can NOT use another guy as a
route. like so....

route 6: bob takes the ticket and uses mike as an excuse. mike talks to
bob's girlfriend and says, "it's my fault he's going. we never hang out
with him. i dragged him here with us. sorry."

that just ain't gonna cut it buddy. she'll buy it to get you out of
trouble for that night....but when you return to the nest - you're so
screwed!

now let me interject with objective thought. of course this doesn't apply
to EVERYONE, but there are justifications of truth in each route.
different situations apply differently to different people. and yes, i do
know that women can be very cool about guys hanging out with their guys on
a spontaneous notion. HOWEVER, a good majority of women (who'll deny it no
matter what) would rather have the man pick her. it's just obvious. who
wouldn't want more caring, personal attention given to them?

indulge me people....

staedtler mars plastic eraser

2006-08-23T07:10:00.000-07:00

please let me answer for myself! have you ever encountered a mr. or mrs.
know-it-all, where they always jumped in the conversation and answered
questions that weren't directed to them? i'm perfectly amiable and accute
to answer my own questions and i will not be scared to pass on the inquiry
if I'm not suitable to drop some knowledge. HOWEVER - just gimmie the
chance to run with it for a little bit - dang!

ALSO - you know what i've taken for granted? The office supply room. I
can still remember the days when i wouldn't have a pen in high school and
hunt for one from a friend. then, if they gave me one and said, "i'm not
sure if it works" - i would do my damndest to make it work. i would roll
it in between my hands, warm it up, take it out of the pen holder, shake it
a lot, and then continuously try to write with it. FINALLY it would work
and then i would have a pen for the day. BUT now, all i do is toss it once
it runs out and grab another bic pen from my drawer. no biggie. how
terrible. in a new effort to save the children - just give up old office
supplies to kids that can't afford new school supplies. it's all for a
good cause!

and then save a tree and eat a beaver!

plum and a Fiji apple

2006-08-17T07:17:00.000-07:00

you know what's crazy? (i feel like i always start off my blog posts with
a rhetorical question....anyhoo....) how has the acception of cursing
evolved throughout the last 5 to 10 years that the word c*nt (minus "u")
has become more derogative and sinister than the word f*ck? DON'T GET ME
WRONG - i hardly ever, EVER, use the "c" word unless i necessarily have to,
but wasn't the f bomb considered the mother of all bad ass words? when did
it evolve into becoming more socially acceptable during normal conversation
with your homeys? i know for me personally - it's become a more casual
term during my collegiate years. obviously i use my smarts to clean up
when in proper situations, but if i'm emphasizing a point or just clowning
around, the f-word rolls off my tongue like the letter "r" in mexico. let
me illustrate conversational masterpieces:

"hey mike, how's it going?"

"sh*t f*ckin sucks man. i'm having a crappy ass day."

the end. right there - i can sympathize with mike and know that he really
IS having a bad day. what if we cleaned it up?

"hey mike, how's it going?"

"Pretty bad. I'm not having a good day."

right there - speaking as a "guy" - someone cut mike's balls off and in
turn, would make me retort with a sarcastic response, like "ah...pooky
wanna snuggle?" or "buck up man. help me fill up this bong."

ALL i'm saying is that the f word has evolved into something more
acceptable than the "new f-word" - the c word.

pass it unto your friends. the end......

my jury check stub

2006-08-04T07:31:00.000-07:00

problems, problems, problems.....

isn't it funny how sometimes we get to a decision we're not sure about at
work and sorta leave it lingering for awhile before we come to a conclusion
on it? if it's a minute problem, then we just push it to the side and let
it lay there until we have to come back to it or someone inquires of it.
that's when you actually do the, "OH, i just had it on the side cause I had
a question about it...." then you actually ask about it. However, if it's
a bigger problem that you're not sure about - you bring it up with someone
that you're closer with at work. then it turn, it can continue unto
another person. then soon enough you'll have a meeting about this problem.
THEN you'll talk up the problem with all these people in the meeting, come
up with a jillion answers or solutions that were comprised of asking other
multiple questions when the first problem arose, to it becoming a political
debate on what works and what doesn't work according to company procedures.
pretty soon the meeting is over and you know what happens in the end? the
problem is still left on the side until someone brings it up again.

action people!

however, as puffy, p. diddy, sean combs says, "mo money, mo problems....."

COME TO MY CONCERT!

contracts and file folders

2006-08-01T09:41:00.000-07:00

Do you like what you do for a living? Does it challenge you the way you
want to be challenged? Does it truly interest you that sometimes you don't
even think it's work?

For me - my job is 'okay.' It's still a general job type and isn't
terrible. I work with great people - people that dig what they're doing.
I'm free to work w/out supervision as I'm pretty sufficient in what I do.
However, do I like it? "Hate" is such a strong word, but let's just say
that it's not what I wish to be doing for the rest of my life. I studied
films in college and have been writing my own scripts and screenplays for
over 5 years....but nothing has surmounted from it. And now I'm doing this
documentary. It's my escape from my everyday, monotonous routine at my
daily job. it keeps me on my toes and greatly interests me. However, it
doesn't pay the bills like my day job does. So - I need to start from the
bottom and work hard at it. But I still need to do my day job along the
way.

Have you ever started a job? It's hard to preach an "idea" to people and
get them interested in helping you out. And what's the worst part about it
all is that the part that I'm the weakest in that needs to be the strongest
is FINANCE. You need money to make money. It's sadly that simple and
true.

Making this movie, presenting this concert with just the aid of myself and
2 or 3 people is VERY difficult. I'm sorta surprised I haven't broken down
yet, but maybe it's because I'm confronted that fear from past experiences.
I'm very confident on what I can accomplish and know that I can make both
projects a huge success. What sucks is money! Money has always been the
devil to me and will always be the deciding factor on helping or hurting
me. Right now, it's hurting me.

So when I go out to look for donations or sponsorships, unlike a bumb or a
homeless guy, you DO know where you're money is going. And hearing "I'll
help you out later on" isn't helping me right now. Right now, I wish I had
an extra $500 bucks of a cushion to have better marketing and free stuff
for people to volunteer. But I don't. And this is how dreams die.

I've always been optomistic with society and the aid of friends. I believe
in good karma and think that when I help anyone in the world with anything,
it should come back to me in some other fashion. I don't drag people down
with my own problems and I carry as much or even more weight than the next
guy. But right now, I do have to admit that these projects are hurting me.
Hurting me so much that the overwhelming stress makes me grumpy and unfun
to be with. These aren't traits that I like to embellish, but everyone has
a dark side that they're hiding.

HOWEVER - I'm not a quitter and I'm not a afraid of what's in my way. I
take advantage of this blog to release myself from struggles that I face.
Hopefully y'all will learn from something I share. Otherwise - if you're
in Illinois - GO TO THE SHOW!!

later.

That Asian Thing Showcase - BE THERE!

2006-07-30T05:59:00.000-07:00

A unified voice.

A unified race.

A one night show.

Be part of the concert event to be featured in "That Asian Thing" documentary. Live and experience the talent of Asian American artists!

"That Asian Thing Showcase"
Saturday, August 12, 2006
7 pm - 9 pm

Fred P. Hall Amphitheater - Palantine Park District
262 E. Palatine Road
Palatine, IL 60067

Cost: FREE!
There will be a sliding scale donation of $5-$15 to help fund the completion of "That Asian Thing" Documentary.

NOTE: This will be an outdoor event. Please bring a lawn chair, blanket, or just yourselves and enjoy the music!

More info @ http://www.thatasianthing.com

http://www.palatineparkdistrict.com/amphitheater.html

black, plastic cup i eat cereal out of

2006-07-27T09:49:00.000-07:00

GET OFF OF IT ALREADY! EVERYONE NEEDS TO TAKE A CHILL PILL!

i hate to compare "stress" stories, but people always feel the need to
chime in with their bigger d*ck story when you're just trying to release
with what's going on with you. no one wants to listen and give you
objective advise or thoughts on your situation. all they want to do in
return to your stress story is make you feel worse by telling you what's
wrong with them. and yes - i do listen when someone tries to "relate" with
their own problems. or when they say, "I remember when the same thing
happen to me and bla bla bla..." i'm just not super keen on people
changing the direction of the conversation and then making it concentrated
on them. it's sorta retarded to ask, "how are you?" cause in reality, all
you really want to do is tell someone how much shiet you're going through.

thanks but no thanks.

diet coke

2006-07-19T12:02:00.000-07:00

Sometimes i can't walk into our work cafeteria because there is a high
chance that i will walk into the "gossip group." NOW i don't partake in
work gossip, but i do listen to it. however, it's not on the intent of
wanting to know personal infomation, it's more on the intent that most of
the gossip people are older in age and hearing can be a little weak.
therefore, they tend to speak a notch higher and when i'm not trying to
listen to these "rumors," you just can't help to hear it cause it's really
loud. i just feel so uncomfortable hearing these people talk about other
people and then knowing that they're gossiping cause they lower their
voices a little.

it's like knowing that you procrastinate and not doing anything about it.
they know that they're gossiping but they see nothing wrong with it. you
know what's funny about the "gossip people" is that they become part of
gossip themselves by being so proactive in the whole scharade. bla! i'm
done with this....

is it me as a one-person corporation or am i really that popular with
getting mail? ever since i've become incorporated for "that asian thing" -
the mail has been more and more under groovy ghost films. funny though -
they're doing what i need to be doing. mass marketing and just getting
your name out there. you figure that if you send about a jillion flyers
out about your service, about 20 to 30 percent should actually look into
it. now that i'm a business - that 20 to 30 percent is looking pretty
gooooooood, if ya ask me.

help a brotha out!

rubber band

2006-07-11T09:01:00.000-07:00

i've become what i hoped wouldn't happen. i am now pigeonholed into always
documenting things. this past weekend, i went out to have a good time -
have some drinks, get my buzz on, watch people pass by and enjoy the
nightlife. i brought my digital camera with me because it was my friend's
birthday. i mean - she took pictures at my birthday, so i sorta felt
obliged to help commemorate her own drunken times. however, everytime i
took a picture, people would say, "it's for the documentary! look out!" or
"is this gonna be in your film? asians having a good time...." or "i'm not
signing a release form..."

now i know what you're saying - "you got yourself into this." and i'm
fully aware of what i've done and how it may altar my future lifestyle.
however, gimmie a break people - it's like me always saying the same joke
to you over and over again. it gets old and annoying after awhile. don't
you think? and also, before i did any of this, everything seemed to be
"normal." now what? i start working on any sort of film and this is what
i have to look forward to??

WELL - i'll take it AND a bag of chips!

it makes life interesting and sure - i get heated or i get riled up. but
it shows to myself how close this project is to my heart. how many people
are really passionate about something that had to grow unto them?? in my
age range and in my radius of friends - not many. a good amount of people
just keep doing their jobs, wishing they could do something cooler. well -
i took it by the bull horns and am making a frickin movie! this is what i
want to do and now i'm doing it. no matter how i'm going about it. i'm
doing it.

just let me be able to blog and release in some form. it's not complaining
- it's telling an upsetting story to the masses about my life. bla bla
bla....words, words, words. that's all this really is. isn't it??

ipod headphones

2006-07-06T14:40:00.000-07:00

you know what i just realized? since i'm trying to figure out my net value
as a person for the back-up of my production company (Groovy Ghost Films,
Inc.), i've realized that i have no savings. i mean - this is no surprise
to the people that know me....however, when i stop to think of where all my
money goes. i'd have to say that it goes to life experiences more than
anything. because as i sit here and list things that i can put up as
collatoral or things that prove that i'm not a "bad person" when it comes
to finances....i actually only have a handful of things that can show it.
i don't own a house. i don't own a great computer. i do own my car, but
it's very old and not worth as much. i can't put my girlfriend up as
collatoral (even though she'll say there's no price on her package....which
there isn't unless we've degraded back to slave issues). SO - when i stop
to think about my net value....the only reason (or "excuse") i'm not worth
as much is because i use up my money on doing stuff like going out to the
bars, fine dining, traveling, movies, good times and even treating out
people to these so called "experiences."

do i regret it? hell no!

but i do wish i had something more viable to prove that i'm worth more.
maybe they can listen to my funny stories instead....

my red pen

2006-07-06T07:17:00.000-07:00

i'm currently in the midst of trying to raise funds for my documentary and
music concert. MAN - have you ever done telemarketing? making those cold
calls and knowing people don't want to hear it? that's what this is like.
SO - to make it easier, i've tried to grow contacts and get referred to
people/companies by others. it helps a little, but you're still trying to
sell something. the hardest part for me is closing the deal. i can talk
about my project all day, but when it comes to actually tying it all up
with, "so, would you like to help the cause?" - it sure can be difficult.

what gets me a little confused is - where did all my friends go? i know
people hate to be asked for money, but if one of my friends emailed me
about something that i felt he/she were really, whole-heartedly sincere
about AND i thought this person could pull it off, I would definitely try
to throw them a bone. and if it's only 10 or 20 bucks...well, hopefully
they'll accept to be something more than zero dollars. and shiet...i'm one
of the brokest mo fo's you should know.

before i change subjects: ---> http://www.thatasianthing.com ---->know
it and tell a friend!!!

MOVING RIGHT ALONG (sometimes documentary talk can easily take over my
conversation/way of thinking): i got my high school reunion notice in the
mail. interesting i must say. i actually sat down and thought about the
friends i hung out with in the beginning of my high school career and who i
ended with at the end of those 4 years. a complete evolution of such. i'm
wondering if those early jonald friends will be in attendance. i hope so.
it would be nothing more than a trip in a literal sense. so if you're in
the new jersey area - i'll be there come november. holla!

office thought of the day: with technology changing ever so rapidly -
you'd think there were a more high-tech solution to a new form of adhesive
paper connections. in other words - staplers, are they really that cool?

that northern telecom phone that everyone has at their work

2006-06-27T08:16:00.000-07:00

i'm not very fond of people that don't know how to chill out at work.
sometimes there are low periods at a job, when there actually might not be
a lot to do, so some people find it necessary to do things that are
completely meaningless. they have no other way of looking busy except to
start picking at things that are so intricate and detailed that if they
were busy, they'd completely overlook. i mean - gimmie a frickin break!
data in a database where some letters need to be capitalized is not my
definition of important work. being nit picky and consistantly talking to
people about work related things makes it come out like your nagging or
just not fun. i know what environment we're in and yes - work is the goal
at hand here. BUT our lives are not meant to be defined by paper work or
what someone more knowledgable or educated commands us to do. this life we
lead and the road we choose from different paths that confront us is what
makes us who we are.

we work to live. we don't live to work.

just chill out. stop trying to make everyone who's relaxed around you look
so bad. i'm sure you can see where i stand. and if you're opposed to
me....

take it easy. i'm not saying that we should not get any work done. its
just that there are certain times when the work place has not so tense
moments and when a little fun can be implemented, just let it be without
coming off as an elitist because you're a hardworker. i'm a hardworker
too. i get my shiet done and i do it very well. even surpass the
intentions of my goal at times. but some people just need to realize that
there is more to life, more to the same ol'building you come to everyday
for a bajillion years, and more to living a routine ordeal. a more
enjoyable environment makes for more enjoyable employees. if these people
look forward coming to work - isn't that suppose to be a good thing?

an eraser

2006-06-23T07:55:00.000-07:00

i apologize! i'm sorry - to all the people that i spit on. yes, friends
and family and random blog readers, i am guilty of "speaking spittal." i
think it's because i speak sorta fast and trying to get so much info out
quicker than my mouth can handle, i have this tendency to "spray it, not
say it." therefore, i apologize! i'm sorry! it's sorta like i'm kissing
the world, one conversation at a time....

moving right along - SUPERMAN will be here. this movie has been
toooooooooo long in the making. i heard about the return of this movie for
like 3 years and only NOW is it coming out. on a wednesday night for that
matter. i hope it is well worth the wait and hype because i have read
kevin smith's version of the story and well.......kevin smith rocked it.
we'll see.....at least its the summer, which introduces the beginning of
the summer blockbusters. we'll see who reaches the rankings this year.
Speaking of Kevin Smith - Clerks 2. i can only pray that this helps
kevin's career rather than hinder it. if this doesn't cut it, it might be
time to get back to independent styles. my new estimated date of "That
Asian Thing" completion will be mid-Fall. This is primarily due to editing
time and completion of filming. keep yer fingers crossed and tell me to
break a leg. then i have to wish and pray that my entrance into film
festivals will be solid.

i'm done thinkin on this for now...maybe more later....

pens galore

2006-06-22T14:17:00.000-07:00

so yeah - that thing up top is the "teaser" to my film to be......

hopefully you'll like it and hopefully you'll let all your friends know
about it.

lately i've been running on E but i feel like if i stop or if i do anything
that isn't towards the project of this film/concert, then i'm being
half-ass about it. but seriously, i'm completely and utterly tired. the
only person who can be a witness to this is my girlfriend and when i go to
interact with outsiders, it's become what feels like work because i have to
put as much out there as i can when it comes to promotions. if you know
me, you know that i'm a pretty personable person. i can talk and i like to
conversate. i do know how to listen and i like to believe that i'm very
open minded to a wide range of anything. however, doing all the marketing,
promotions, filming, interviewing, reading material, emailing, and just
even going to my dayjob to do work outside of this project - WELL, all the
talking seems to be nothing unless there's a physical, viable product in
front of people. HENCE - this little teaser. i've watched footage of
interviews at least 10 times a piece to look for just the right snippets to
throw in there. i listened to a lot (A LOT) of asian american artists'
music, to get the right feel for the right scene. and if you can believe
this, i'm working on the actual script for voice over. there's a lot to
making a full length feature - especially if you have an army of one -
yourself.

SO - i'm tired BUT i'm still moving.

in other news:

i've quit smoking and putting all the occasional mishaps aside (like drunk
drags or out of state partying), i've been clean for over a year and a
half. i've become a runner (...well, not lately.....since i've taken up my
project full time) and i'm an advocate on eating healthy. HOWEVER - i've
turned to the bad, bad drug of caffiene. Since i've been so tired lately,
i feel like drinking coffee and diet coke helps me get through the day.
NOW if you asked me if i wanted coffee about a year ago, i would've been
like "no way jose" cause it's bad for your heart. but then i'd say that
before lighting up a cigerette. it's really just become my substitute. i
need to stop. it's a wonder how drinking coffee has become professionally
acceptable during meetings.

this will be all....

my red and black sharpie - oh how i love thee

2006-06-12T09:12:00.000-07:00

i had a wierd dream last night.

i was in what felt like my fraternity house but wasn't. for some unknown
reason, dreams make up new "realities" as far as making you feel like
you're at a place that you know, but it really isn't that place. like i've
had dreams that took place in a room that's suppose to be my house because
it felt like my house, but its a place i've never been to before. ANYHOO -
continuing on - I was in this room that was like a cave in the basement of
the fraternity house. there was a party going on, but it was just me and
one of my cousins' friends chillin with me. he was playing with a crab the
size of his arm. it wasn't biting him, but he was playing with it. then a
spider, the same size, came out. we decided to let'em have a go at each
other to see who would win in a fight. as they were fighting, i backed up
to give them some room. out of nowhere, a bat started to attack me. i was
wearing my long, overcoat that had long sleeves and use them to swap the
bat away. everytime it came close to me, i just hit it. it kept getting
more angry, so i just left the room when it was far enough from me. when i
got out of there, there was a staircase (very dark) that led upstairs.
people were going up and down it, just like a frat party. one of my
fraternity bros stopped me to ask where i was. i told him the whole story
and then the alarm went off.

really, REALLY wierd.

my girlfriend asked me, "what were you dreaming about?" i told her the
story i just wrote out and she said, "you were moving around and mumbling
in your sleep. i thought it was funny."

it wasn't a scary dream, except for the bat part. but it was just deeply
bizarre.

my ringing phone

2006-06-09T13:37:00.000-07:00

sometimes when i wake up really early in the morning, there's that morning
dew smell that reminds me of yesteryear. i remember being in grade school
again and walking to my catholic school in the cold breeze of chicago wind
with the blue hue. the smell also reminds me of going on road trips with
my family when i was a kid. my dad would get us to leave at 4 in the
morning to beat traffic and get a good start on the road. the smell is
also reminiscent of first period classes at college. i only had a few, but
to get up and smell that morning dew while looking at an empty campus was
really a site to see. you get to appreciate how nice your college looks in
it's natural, naked beauty.

there are other smells that remind me of past situations. i'm sure you can
relate.

another note: please check my film blog every now and then too. i just
unloaded a lot of thought into today's entry.

i'm tired....this will be all.

my notary public stamp

2006-06-07T08:06:00.000-07:00

From answerbag.com:

"The phrase "speak of the devil" is a shortened form of the medieval phrase
"speak of the devil and he shall come." It was thought that if you talked
about the devil it would attract his attention. That is why when you are
talking about someone and they show up you say speak of the devil."

Well now y'all know and knowing is half the battle. Actually - I'm a
little disappointed by this answer of "Where did 'speak of the devil' come
from?" I thought it would be this ancient lure of satanic corruption where
Lucifer had worked out a deal with Jacob the disciple. Whereas Lucifer
would give him riches in terms of unlimited bottles of wine and sheep skin
for the knowledge of Christ almighty's source of power. Then while
drinking tea with Luke and Peter, Jacob told them his story of running into
a black caped man calling himself Lucifer. As he uttered those words, the
subject showed up in person. "You scare me as the devil, good sir!" Jacob
said. And without resistance - Lucifer did a Wonder Woman type spin to
turn into THE DEVIL! Now becoming completely red and growing horns, he
caught a pitchfork that grew and shot out from the ground. Luke and Peter
luckily had bottles of Holy Water on them and began to throw. "CURSES!"
Lucifer said and ran away.

Hence, in my own demonic, corrupted, imaginery mind - this is where the
phrase "speak of the devil" came from.

originally my tea mug but now my mocha mug

2006-05-30T13:11:00.000-07:00

Okay - so i completely understand that sometimes "time" is not on peoples'
side and the task of emailing has picked up to be somewhat time consuming,
especially if that's your main source of communication. in today's day and
age - sometimes it's what makes work a less monotonous day. HOWEVER, i'm
not a big fan of quick, to the point comments. For example, I sent out an
email asking friends if they would like to join me for an outing and one of
the replies that i received simply said "i was already going."

that's it.

that's it?

now i understand that i shouldn't expect some long, drawn out emailing
saying that the world is peachy keen and work is making one's body tired
even though it's a desk job, BUT isn't there a more charismatic way of
saying that you were attending the event? "i was already going" is kinda
like saying "OH, i already knew this and i was going without telling you.
don't make it such a big deal cause it's already in my calendar book."
WELL excuuuuuuuuse me for inviting you if you already knew it! something
kinder and quick would be, "hey, i already knew about this - did you want
to meet up?" or even "i'm down." but no, not "i already knew this" doesn't
work nicely.

DON'T GET ME WRONG - i know the reprecussions of bad email etiquette and
have totally been guilty of sending out snobbish or sarcastically mean
messages. BUT i am getting better and i wish people would just re-read
what they send out before hitting that quick release button. sometimes it
really does make people just a little more happy when you get a nice email.

computer monitor

2006-05-23T09:16:00.000-07:00

you know what's natural, but embarrassing? not like picking your nose or
passing gas are things you shouldn't do, but something that you can't stop
from doing is making your stomach growl. sometimes my stomach just wants
to talk outloud and let everyone know that it's "letting food settle" or
"sorry, i need to be excused" or "let's be embarrassing!!" but whatever -
it's natural.

ya know - that werd right there is the new mentos. the werd - "whatever"
is suppose to be this justification or excuse to let things go. it's like
a brush off the shoulder (circa jay-z 2003). and like mentos - you're able
to get away with it with no worries. the other person just laughs it off
as you walk away holding your "whatever" in your hand with a big smile.
it's a scapegoat of a werd that i am very guilty of using as well.
however, there are moments where it very applicable in life because
seriously, people are too serious and need to utilize that "whatever" more
often. SO...on that note - whatever.

[also give props to the movie Clueless]

i think i swallowed a hair last night and now it's lodged in my throat.
i've drank hot stuff, cold stuff and eaten a couple of things since this
morning, but it still feels like something's in there. it'll probably
become one of those things like from the movie "My Girl" where she thinks
there's always a chicken bone lodged in her throat. For me - it's a piece
of hair. and going with that - yes - men are just big babies.....

I'm sorry, but i think i need to discontinue the naming of my posts after
beatles songs. i think i ran out. isn't that a shame?! well....i have
had this blog for awhile now, so it was likely to happen at some point.
therefore, i will just name my posts after random objects that lie in front
of me. enjoy.

i want to hold yer hand....

2006-05-17T11:46:00.000-07:00

sorry to have neglected you, blog nation. I've been busy with the editing
of my film, my dayjob, and spending time with people I love. Also, the
good weather has invigorated my activity of spending time outside or
driving to unknown chicago regions. I just like to be up and about. Live
life man - that's what you gotta do!

ANYHOO - i do have randumb thoughts lodged in my noggin. here's a go:

--Elevators. wouldn't there be more space on them if everyone on the side
turned sideways and didn't face the opening doors, therefore allowing
another row of people on there? i'm not one to talk, however i always feel
that some people that enter the elevators on my job don't really have a
tetris etiquette to let as much people in. where's the love man? also -
stop looking down - the elevator ride ain't that bad.

-i'm very reluctant to grow my hair out. i shave my head because it's very
easy to handle AND i look good with it. i have a normal shaped head. some
people SHOULDN"T try to pull it off because they have oddly shaped heads.
really - you should check out the shaved head people and see what it
resembles. is it a block head? an egghead? a bumpy head? what works
best?

-my girlfriend watches sex in the city on demand. therefore, i watch sex
in the city as it is on the telly. i must admit - good writing. what i
did think of though was some of the guys on that show. if nothing else
were to happen with their acting careers, they can at least say that "i
played one of cary's boyfriends on sex in the city." to me - that's
actually pretty well known to the women. therefore, if you're an actor
just tryin to score some poon - i think sayin this credential is VERY
clutch.

-Donations. of late in my life, i've been more giving with my money. not
giving to bumbs but rather to friends who work the non profit route. i
know some people that do walks for causes, work not for profit businesses,
and are even starting their own businesses. funds are hard to come by and
friends SHOULD be friends. i'm not the richest guy on the block, but i can
definitely spare 5 or 10 bucks to help out a friend that's been good to me
in the past/present. 5 or 10 bucks towards their goal is closer than
nothing, so why not, eh? "heal the world, make it a better place, for you
and for me and the entire human race...." OR "we are the world, we are the
children, we are the ones who make a brighter day, so let's start giving"

-my 10 year high school reunion is coming up. first - YIKES - how old am
i?? next - YIKES - what the hell do i have to show for it?? whatever - i
have no shame. i just want to talk to more people and hopefully network.
i was pretty well known - not mr. popular, but my name did do me better
than i thought. there's not that many "jonalds" to spare. hopefully it
won't be a night of revengful regrets where people come to carry out things
they "should've done" in their past years. s'all good....i'm just glad i
live in chicago and don't have to run into any aftermath.

eat it. RADIOHEAD - in one month!! WOO HOOOOOooo!!!!

golden slumbers

2006-05-10T13:42:00.000-07:00

the following is a retort for people who work in the business world.
you'll understand what i mean:

"do i have a choice? it shouldn't be called a favor if I have to do it."

AH - now that i have that off my back. let's continue on. THIS WEEK conan
o'brien is taping his show at the Chicago Theater on state street. This is
literally 3 blocks away from where i work. i've walked by it for the past
2 days to see if i can somehow worm my way into the show. however, knowing
that taping begins at around 3 or 4 pm....lines to the show form way before
noon. there are people lined up all over the spot. it's pretty crazy. i
did submit an email to get tickets - but it's still at random draw and then
you still have to wait in line to get in. still no guarentee if your name
is picked. i'd have to miss a day of work just to grab my seat.

in the past, i have watched conan live 3 times in new york when i lived in
jersey. all good times. but now that he's a big shot - it's impossible to
grab tickets. o well....

yesterday, i lost an arm and a leg obtaining tickets to my favorite living
band. "living" is the word here - unless by some miraculous feet, Paul and
Ringo can get Lennon and Harrison's sons to jump in a live concert, then
i'd probably lose my soul to get tickets. ANYHOO - my friend and I got
RADIOHEAD tickets!! WOO HOO!!!! too cool as it will be in the auditorium
theater in chicago. can't wait for this date to be history in my life
book. i've never seen them live and have been consistently listening to
them since high school. hail to the thief!

a couple of movies i've watched lately that you should check out if you
haven't: munich (which is now on dvd), me, you, and everyone we know is a
quirky movie with deeper meaning to it than it seems, v for vendetta was
cool and yes - it's about bush administration (very obvious), and
hitchcock's north by northwest. always gotta stick a classic flick on the
list.

holla!

baby's in black

2006-05-04T14:00:00.000-07:00

MISSING IN ACTION - sorry to be in nowhere land and not yell out my status
to the seeker, however, personal turmoil has made me not want to write out
to the masses. nothing big - more like a personal rut but i'm getting
through it. sometimes stuff like this happens out of boredom.

passive aggression - what the hell are you? i've been known to be passive
aggressive and it's become a complaint by some. however - i can't
understand what the hell i'm doing that makes it passive aggressive. SO -
let me list the faults that I do that will probably reveal what passive
aggression is.

when i see someone doing something "wrong" (in a sense where i don't like
it or its something messed up), instead of being blunt, sometimes i lay
guilt trips about it. also, i tend to ask a question putting the wrong
doer in opposite shoes to see if what he/she is doing is wrong. get what
i'm saying? example - "hey, is it wrong to put knives in people's back?"
apparently, i hang out with backstabbers. badum ching!

randumbly ongoing - i've deteriorated a ligament in my foot. it was
swollen before and in serious pain, however, it's gone down in swelling and
now i don't feel too much pain (which tends to happen over time). BUT
since i'm missing that ligament, i still have to undergo physical therapy,
which consists of an ultra sound foot massage and whirlpool treatment. how
lavish a therapy is that?! i just hate the fact that i can't completely
run yet and i can seriously injure my foot if i exert myself too much.
booooo!

i've returned from the Asian American mecca known as California. i visited
family and overwhelmed myself with rest and food. eat, go, sleep, go, eat,
sleep. in that order and repeat for 3 days. NOW if only there were a way
to do everything without gaining weight. hhhmmmmm - a new invention could
be in the works....

northern song

2006-04-18T07:46:00.000-07:00

patience - is it really for you? OR is it really for the other guy?

i'm starting to believe that the trait of patience is as equally BAD as it
is good. I've always thought patience is a great asset to have and taking
your time on things produces better quality. HOWEVER, as i'm becoming more
involved with my projects - patience is also letting people get away from
stuff. people easily take patience for granted. another aspect that is
not to the fault of evil (as i'm guilty of it too) is that people DO get
busy and DO forget to do things. so patience would be important for
keeping up good relations, but patience would not be good if you know that
the person can be forgetful.

randumbly - do you really get mentally hurt when someone penalizes a
characteristic you pride yourself on? i do. i don't think i should as i'm
a "guy," but shiet man....i have feelings too. when someone says i'm not
funny or not patient or very unreliable - i take it to heart because i
really do pride myself on those assets. it's all i got man. i think my
other big characteristic is pride itself. i have lots of pride. when
someone pokes at it, i take offense to it. and i hate getting sour - i
wish i could brush things off my shoulder but grudges are evil. you want
that revenge so badly because greed and being selfish is easy to do.

it's all hate man. just like star wars - it's easy to get unto the dark
side. but i'm tellin you - it's just as stressful to stay that way. it
takes more work to start shiet up and be angry at someone than it is to
just shrug it off and be on your way. i get too much crap from sexually
deprived men because they build up too much testosterone and can only take
it out on other guys. you get some beer in them, say the wrong words, and
bam - they hold a grudge on you cause in retrospect and all honesty - men
are truly little babies. sorry men - i'm not gay, nor am i a p*ssy....but
honestly, we get too worked up and are probably worse than women cause we
don't release our anger. we keep our feelings bottled up and act like
little babies to try and compensate the way we feel instead of standing up
with a little confidence, being a man, and saying what's on your mind. we
also act more sick than we really are and need more help then we actually
ask for. just stop being a frickin baby and speak up!

okay - too much drama that's unnecessary needs to go away. hope y'all are
having better days!

then there was music!

2006-04-12T09:17:00.000-07:00

Wow - my documentary made a magazine! woo hoo!! Exit Weekly is a magazine
based out of New Jersey and luckily, my boy Greg P-diggidy dropped some
knowledge about my film to his editor. Next thing I know, I get a call on
my day off, answer some questions and a week later - bam...I'm public.
It's good P.R. Well - if you think about it, anything to be in the public
eye is good P.R. Good or bad vibes will nontheless make people talk about
you. If I stir up a little contro - sure I'll take it. I just want people
to start taking interest in the matter. Check out the documentary blog
NOW!

I'm on the verge of creating a production company. Still working on a good
name for it though. Didn't know how difficult it was till I started saying
the names out loud. I'm trying to use my vast humor to play a pun on
something that I liked when I was a child. Can't think of anything though.
I'm sure I'll think of something...

MAN - I watched Swingers last night. Didn't realize how much I missed that
movie. It's SO good for what it costs and how it played out production
wise. Here's Jon Favrau, Vince Vaughn, and Ron Livingston broke on their
asses and trying to crack into the biz. Jon writes up this stellar
screenplay and gets in cahoots with one of his friends who's a producer.
She gets Doug Liman into it, just as an advisor. then he gets so caught
into it that he wants to direct it. for like 5 or 6 months, they build up
funding. the shoot for a couple of months and then get it out to the
people. they reached more success through dvd than theatrical rec. the
story of how this movie got made amazes me, as you can see. vince and jon
rock the scenes and ron livingston still plays one of the better straight
men in my opinion (next to steve corral and will farrell). ["Straight Man"
is the character that plays up the "normal" person. he's the guy that is
the everyman and isn't outlandish with his demeanor. past "straight men"
are Felix Unger, mr. drummond, and daddy warbucks.]

rockin da casbah!

I read the news today, oh boy....

2006-04-05T07:59:00.000-07:00

i'm seriously running out of beatles songs to name my posts after. i may
start repeating....my apologies.

AH - if you look at the paper today as opposed to one of my prior posts -
netflix is sueing blockbuster for using the same methods of dvd rental.
frickin coincidence city man! maybe someone from netflix is a frequent
flyer of randumb 101 and said, "wait just a gosh darn minute! blockbuster
IS rippin us off!" and again, i'll say that i'm waiting for my comp check
in the mail from netflix. holla!

4 days later from starting a screenplay at 11:30 pm on friday night (after
the coldplay concert which was of less energy than vegas version). i am 64
pages deep and probably only 60 percent done. what sucks is that i know i
have to cut out so much crap, that i don't even know if i'll still have a
full movie in my hands after editing. however, i must say, this screenplay
is taking the life out of me. the only rest that i see throughout my day
(for the past week) has been sleep itself and my morning commute with my
cousin. i just sit there and try to not think of anything. its very
difficult though.

i'm covering for 2 people at work this week. one is out on operation and
the other is nursing a cold. [which i've always thought to have sounded
wierd. in essence of "nursing" a cold, doesn't that mean that you're
taking care of the cold like you want to make the cold to be stronger?? ]
so i'm swamped at the dayjob. right when i get outta here, i write on the
train. once i'm home, i either eat or write. this whole month is asian
american heritage month, which means i have footage to tape every week this
month. thing is, i NEED to finish this screenplay by a deadline of april
17th. i'm mentally and physically tired.

i have no time to watch movies. my netflix is not paying off this month.
SEE - i add on this extra project of a screenplay, and i'm extremely wiped
out. what i hate the most out of it - it doesn't seem real. to me - i
feel like everyone around me thinks this is childplay. like i'm not
serious or it's a daydream with no immediate result to it. i guess it
sucks when everyone in the world wants to be in the movies - but who's
really doing anything about it?

editing is the key to my documentary, screenplay, and in a
way.....life......

"you're so deep that i want to laugh in your face."

the way things are going - they're gonna crucify me!

2006-03-31T09:27:00.000-08:00

SO - i have a mission this weekend, which i'm pretty confident about but
not sure if i, personally, can pull it off. it's gonna take dire
determination, imagination, and no sleep. i am presenting to myself a
challenge of my writing skills. THUS - this weekend i will bust out a
screenplay. i've been brainstorming and have characters drawn out, but
haven't written anything solid yet. so, this weekend, i will begin this
friday night and finish by sunday a draft of a screenplay. i'm destined to
write out approximately 120 pages of goodness. it's a murder mystery with
a refrain in the end. this has been lodged up in my head for awhile so i
feel like the beginning part shouldn't be difficult to get through.
however, i think the ending will be the bitch of me. i'll keep ya posted
on this one....

i'm gonna enter it into a competition that has a deadline of april 17th.
wish me luck!

tonight - coldplay concert at the united center. should be fun cause they
had a great concert in vegas. hopefully it'll be close to the same energy
if not better.

i've been on hiatus lately cause time is so crucial. i haven't even had
time to watch any good movies lately. errrrr! i want to see v for
vendetta but i have this screenplay thingy, then the asian american film
festival is in town, and coldplay tonight, etc., etc., etc.

randumb commentary: alright, so i wasn't a coldplay fan to begin with, but
their concert was very cool, so i started to dig'em. i'm not like a #1 fan
or something. i actually like bands like radiohead, white stripes, and the
beatles. i'm pretty ecclectic and can listen to anything. i know how to
appreciate things for what they're worth and can see how or why other
people might like things. SO - don't hate on me or gimmie lip for going to
a coldplay concert if you don't dig their sounds. i dig'em and they put up
a good live show - end story.

it's gettin warmer in chicago! WOO HOO!!!!

junk

2006-03-27T07:51:00.000-08:00

i just want to say how much netflix rocks. i only signed up a month ago,
but it really does save me moola. i use to go to blockbuster at least
twice a month and rent at least 2 movies, which would add up to 10 bucks a
visit - thus 20 bucks a month. With netflix, 20 bucks a month gets you 2
movies for like 3 times a month and the bonus is no late fees whatsoever!
there's no late fees at blockbuster, but if you don't return it in a week
after the due date, you have to buy it.

i know, i know....blockbuster has this netflix thingy too, where you can go
online and do it up just like netflix. but why go with the dopleganger
when you can go with the original? and i use to think the whole mailing
thing would be a nuissance - no dice. its totally cool and small enough to
fit in our mailbox. works well.

and now i await my plug check from netflix. haha!

moving randumbly.....

i'm having like a day 2 hangover. i wasn't even plastered on saturday
night, but i guess its the way drinks are made and how many brain cells i
kill off, but i'm still minorly hurt here. it's just a headache that won't
go away. NO - it's not a migrain or "a tumor" (circa Kindergarden Cop,
where boys have penises and girls have vaginas). they say hangovers are
usually products of dehydration, but i've been drinking gallons of water
for the past 2 days. still a little hurt here. it'll pass....

ncaa brackett - you're all screwed!

baby's in black

2006-03-23T08:51:00.000-08:00

you know how you can tell when you're starting to feel old? when the joke
"Take my wife please!" begins to be funny. some 16 yr. old kid could
understand why it would be funny, but for some reason, in my older age, I
actually laughed out loud when i heard it (recently re-watching Goodfellas
for a record 187th time). I use to watch Goodfellas religiously during
college - especially my 2nd year. I didn't have classes on fridays, so i
appointed every friday as Goodfellas friday. I must've worn that tape out
cause i watched it so many damn times. it was awesome. then, i stopped
watching it for a good while. last night, i found it "On Demand" and i was
eating, so i figure i didn't have to pay too much attention to it while i
was munching. however, i couldn't take my eyes off the television once it
got on. it was like a rebirth. that movie's so frickin awesome! STILL MY
FAVORITE MOVIE! i need to get away from watching American Beauty for
awhile. Use to be my 2nd or 3rd fav movie - now it's starting to drop in
my personal list. sorta getting beat by tupac resurrection. i swear it's
a frickin good movie and i'm not big on tupac. no joke man...no joke.

ugh...back to work.

gotta git'ya into my life, somehow someway!!

2006-03-22T07:35:00.000-08:00

i just realized how much i miss watching conan o'brien. i saw that he's
coming to chicago in may to do some tapings. WOO HOO!! i'm gonna try my
damndest to get tickets. i saw conan live about 4 times during college.
one of my goals in life at one time was to write for conan, but dunno how
far fetched that is now. less we forget that nothing is ever too far
fetched - especially if you're trying to pursue a dream where only a
minimal amount of stars shine bright enough for all to see.

sometimes i think i write too metaphorically. sorry....just gotta try to
catch what i'm saying. sorta like my sense of humor - just gotta catch the
joke. and yes - i do push bad jokes sometimes. but who the f*ck cares -
you never know a bad joke until you try it. someone's gotta give you a
sympathy laugh.

i've lived in chicago for almost 5 years now. (well, technically i'm in
evanston now....so, i've been in chicago for 4 years, and IL for 5 years.)
i've moved around from house to house every year till this past year, when
i moved into a condo with 3 other cousins. this will be the longest i've
stayed in one spot since i lived at home with my parents and that's about 7
years ago. crazy how where you hang your hat can change so many times....

a mezzo mezzo day.

it's gettin betta all the time!!

2006-03-20T14:33:00.000-08:00

this is something that i didn't understand till later on in life. i was
part of a fraternity and when i was an undergrad whenever I met alumni, i
did my best to make them my friend. i wanted there to be a sense of truth
behind the word "brotherhood" and i really did make an effort to get to
know this dude that i'm associated with through an organization. however,
the alumnus that i was trying to get to know always seemed too busy and it
was always difficult for him to come around. now - definitely
understandable that there are "real world, out of college" things going on
and then there are "college, i'm getting wasted tonight" things going on -
so those are the different spectrums on the board. but i never understood
why they couldn't do little things every now and then - maybe stop by 2
times a month or give a call to an undergrad to see how things are going.
HOWEVER, now that i'm an adult (or pretend to be), i can see how it gets
difficult to do those little things. here i am, trying to balance these
things on a normal basis: a 40 hour per week job, a total commute time of
2 hours a day, keeping in shape by running at least 2 or 3 times a week
(which is approx. 2 hours a gym visit), my documentary filmmaking career is
another job within itself (i email, do massive research, film gigs, write a
crap load of stuff up, read, read, and read; do marketing, networking, and
trying to make contacts anywhere i can), and to add to this whole shabang,
i need to make room for my girlfriend. Whew - try saying this whole list
under one minute. that's how i feel most of the time.

to add on to the beginning of my topic, i can see how i couldn't or maybe
might not even want to try to relate to some 18 year old kid who's worried
about how to grow funds for rush. BUT for my AKL homies - i feel your pain
brothas. you young ones - just keep on keeping on cause even though that
old alumnus f*cker won't hear me out, just keep doin your own shiet cause
in your world, grabbing your balls and doing stuff is the best example you
can set for everyone else. that's what i did and by learning my place in
the organization, things ran well for me.

NOW, up to date and in relation to today - i may be slacking in the
friendship department. it's hard. it really is. i wish i could keep up
with friends at all times and make sure everyone is always okay. but i
don't have enough time during my days. i don't have time for me sometimes
and when i push myself further to be a better person by helping others - i
really do forget to help myself. it could sound stupid but if you know me,
you could probably see me doing this. i really do try to accommodate to
everyone as much as possible and sometimes i become a d*ck because i need
to have everyone feel alright.

alright...i don't feel like writing this anymore. this is complaining that
i wouldn't want to hear from anyone...so, why should i do this to ya'll,
when i don't even wanna hear it. werd.....

savoy truffle!

2006-03-17T11:00:00.000-08:00

you know what i like witnessing when the observee is non-suspecting?
innocence. its so cool to see someone that is important or strong and to
assume that this person is always proper, especially in a work place
environment - but then to see them outside of that persona without them
knowing it. well ....that's just sincere and it makes you appreciate that
person on a different level. BUT this could just be me and taking in the
breath of life to another extent. sometimes writing gets difficult when
you want to create this complex character because there are "rules" to
sticking with the humanity and flaw of a character. its a sense of
consistancy because audience members are more observant than what writers
give them credit for. rule of thumb for writers: write for smart people,
but then again, write to someone that has never heard of it before.
comprende vou? you want to break down a story but don't dumb it down for
people. SO going back to this character thing, and relating it to real
people - how can i be consistant when in the world we live in, people can
change in a minute. HOWEVER, just to write outloud (instead of "think
outloud"), i guess maybe the character's consistent characteristic is to
always change. (i'm trying to be cleaver by always being inconsistant on
spelling 'consistent.') ANYHOO - what initiated this thought was how i
came across the doodlings of someone at work. she's a contract specialist
and when i was going through her files, i saw this butterfly doodle snuck
in along with red penned comments of important legalized terminology. it's
like all this important stuff, and then this butterfly doodle. for the
type of person she is, you wouldn't suspect it. it has a sense of
innocence in it. that all these hardworking older folks that we can easily
get irritated with on a daily basis was at one time a young kipper that
touched imagination in their unharmed mind. unharmed by what society has
influenced them to accept as right or wrong. unharmed by bad experiences
that they may always accept to be "wrong situations," but when in fact it
could have been a one time or two time fluke. NOT that i'm saying people
cannot assume, but again i will reiterate - this might just be me. my
blog, my thoughts, my words.

moving along - were you part of a fan club? do they even do that anymore?
like the kirk cameron fan club? i guess there are more internet savvy kids
out there that just join listservs about their favorite person. what fun
is that? i would've joined the punky brewster fan club and seen how she
suffered the problems of big boobs and what she did to overcome the jugs.

NCAA!! Are y'all about the MADNESS?!?! I am and tonight I will continue
to get my fix...

p.s. i am now having a hard time thinking of beatles song titles as my
post up titles from the top of my head. i'm sure i'm missing a lot, but
MAN....this is rough...

freeee as a bird

2006-03-14T13:49:00.000-08:00

randumb:

how long do you hang on to your parents' house keys from the time you move
out to live on your own? a year? 6 months? just give it to them when you
move out? not sure....

it's march madness time, baby! gettin the bracketts goin and i'm in about
4 pools too many. i've never won this thing and this year, i'm picking
different winners for every brackett. so come on Duke, UConn, and Texas!!
(i know, i know....i have UConn winning for 2 pools, so that's why i only
named 3 schools). have fun this thursday peoples!

you know how hard it is to plan a bachleor party without going unto a porn
site? pretty damn hard! i mean...i'm not the best man, but our best man
wants a contribuatory effort from the groom's party. thus i am helping
search for venues, liquors, and topless shot girls. however, you can never
get too raunchy without getting unto a porn website. then you get the pops
ups and then the possible viruses, and then these things automatically
install crap on your harddrive that you don't know how to uninstall, then
they setup their porn website as your homepage and next time you go to open
up explorer (or firefox or navigator if you're living in 1997...holla
rutgers!) you get all the same pop ups and computer problems. see what we
go through to satisfy a man on his last days as a single being! are
bachelorette parties any easier??

anyone wanna donate to my documentary? i'm in the middle of writing up
proposals to gain sponsorships. the downside - deadlines and when money
would actually being coming in. don't know if it would be in time with the
timeline i had in mind. we'll see.....

back to monotony....

we're sgt. peppa'z lonely hearts club band, i hope you will enjoy the show....

2006-03-10T08:03:00.000-08:00

i am not a coffee drinker. i'm a tea person, but i'm not anti-coffee. so
i will indulge on the caffiene if i need it. right now i just had the
infamous grande caramel macchiato bla bla skim milk light whip creme
splenda bla bla. ANYHOO - good stuff, till it gets down to that last drop
that's full of caramel residue and pure shot of caffiene - yowza! i did a
little body shake after i drank it.

randumbly - isn't that wierd?? have you ever experienced that little body
shake. it's when you're body takes in or feels something that really isn't
right to its system. so it gives you a shake or warning signal. sorta
like when you cough the first time you inhale a cigerette - which i am
totally free of. thank god on my smelling system. no offense to cigerette
smokers, cause i was part of the club for about 8 years, but for the last
year i've been on and off and recently i can say right now that i have
officially quit smoking. WERD BIOTCH! no joke. now don't get me wrong -
if i'm completely hammered or tokishly grinning, i might partake in a
stick, but somehow my body does the shake and i know that its something
that i don't like. since i've been clean - geeez....smelling senses??
where the hell did you come from?? it's amazing how much i can breathe
better and smell things with acute attention. however, i will NOT become
one of these pricks that have the need to pretend cough or say something
under my breath to someone that smokes. i've been there before, so i know
what its like to be a smoker. BUT, to continue, i'm not fond of people
that think that cutting back to lights or ultra lights will help in your
cause to stop smoking. the only REAL way to do it is to either get help or
quit cold turkey. the way i see if is that your body and the habit itself
are keen to each other. in other words, when it gets together, they like
to hang out with each other for that quick fix of 5 minutes. but if you
want to quit - you're gonna have to WANT it that you will be able to do it.
don't gimmie this bull shiet about cutting back and then missing it so
badly. just keep remembering why it's bad and stay strong! SO if you tell
me you're quitting or trying to stop smoking, don't look for sympathy from
me. once you tell me you want to quit - you better not be lying to
yourself and me, cause i will question why you're smoking a cigerette if
you break one out after saying those werds. sorry - that's just me. i'm
not a mean person and i'll probably not care the first couple of times
around when you break a stick out. but after awhile, you're preaching gets
old and if you keep saying "i'm gonna quit" but don't show any changes -
i'm just gonna shake my head in disappointment. ALRIGHT - enough of this
bull shiet. happier times....

randumbly - i'm watching anything box tonight. 80's stuff. don't know
them that well, but i've been listening to them for the past week. they're
okay. i'm not that psyched, but i'm excited to go to a concert. should be
fun nonetheless.

st. patty's day is big in chicago. they turn lake michigan into a sea of
green. very cool sight. the funny part - lake michigan is naturally
green. yuck.....

i'm eating at millinium park grill today. it has the #3 best burger out of
the 10 top burgers in chicago - according to the chicago tribune. cannot
wait!

ANYHOO, have a good summer. k.i.t. b.f.f.

ya say you want a revolution, well ya know...

2006-03-06T07:36:00.000-08:00

OKAY - so here are my post oscar thoughts:

-Crash -- good deal! it shouldn't be a surprise - if brokeback wasn't in
the running, crash would've taken the cake easily. i'm actually more happy
that haggis won for best original screenplay AND even though he was as
nervous as he was - he still had a good point in his speech that stood for
what his movie was all about.

-gimmie a break with the representation of races. yeah, yeah - so i'm
doing a film about asian americans in mainstream culture. and ya know what
- asians are thrilled that Ang Lee finally won the grand prize after
getting shot down for crouching tiger, hidden dragon (when he had also won
the prominant awards that come before the big dance). congrats to ang!
BUT 3-6 mafia wins the oscar and african americans still feel that they
weren't represented any better in that awards show. didn't you see? there
was still a breakthrough! rap has never EVER been involved with the
academy awards and not only did it get nominated and performed BUT it even
won! 3-6 mafia didn't look unhappy to me. they were totally genuine and
awesomely thrilled to win. you never see people who win get that joyful -
these guys showed on the outside how these prominant actors that win really
feel on the inside. so that's that!

-best speech of the night: george clooney. can this guy be anymore cool?
and then he was funny too. talking about being 1997 sexiest man and being
batman. then he got a little deep and talked about the la la land of
hollywood. it was very short, blunt, and had meaning behind it. cheers
georgey boy....

-nobody cried. however, it looked like phoenix was gonna lose it after
hoffman was named. you'll get another chance brotha...you're frickin good
like that.

-jon stewart was okay. nothing great. he tried to throw some political
humor into the mix and i don't think the crowd was diggin it too much. i
will say this though - he's not afraid to do what comics are suppose to do
on the oscars - say what they want. at least he carried it well. will he
host again? don't hold your breath....steve martin is still my favorite
host. sorry billy - you've just done it too many times.

-still not sure about the reese witherspoon win. deserving? gonna have to
watch walk the line again...

-didn't like the music playing in the background during speeches. sorta
annoying. it's suppose to be more of an indication to end your speech
soon. not to add more drama to it.

-lily tomlin and meryl streep. totally funny and i believe that it was
more improvised than thought out. they must said, "let's read each other's
lines" back stage before they came out. it was good stuff.

-will farrell and steve carral - also funny stuff. BUT i'm gonna have to
give the funny man award to ben stiller. great man - really funny with the
green suit!

these are my thoughts and i'm stickin to it (unless i think otherwise)....


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